LOGINIt's been four days since the photoshoot and I still couldn't bring myself touch myself even though I was so fucking needy.
The whole house was quiet, and about past Seven, the low growl of the engine cut through the quiet house like a fucking grenade.My entire body froze immediately. I was sitting cross-legged on my bed, my laptop was open to a spreadsheet I hadn't touched in about twenty minutes, pretending to work while my pulse lived in my throat.For the firstI stood there, and just started at him after all what he's just said and the silence was so heavy I could barely breathe."I only want you."The words were still hanging in the air between us but they weren't enough. They couldn't erase what I'd seen.My legs gave out and I collapsed back onto my bed. I literally fell, it was as if all the strength I had left my body at once.The sobs came harder now.Two nights of no sleep. One day of complete devastation. I was breaking completely.He watched me helpless. The guilt on his face was destroying him but all I could was cry right now.He moved toward me. It was like he wanted to comfort me even though he was the reason I needed comforting in the first place.He sat on the bed beside me, close but not touching yet. Just there."I can't stop seeing it," I said through my sobs. "I can just get it out of my head. You with her. Two of you smiling, and the doubts and all the thoughts running through my mind, even though I knew I was very right
“I'm sorry."He said the words and just stood there in my doorway like what he just said was something toxic, something so toxic that he knew it. Toxic like it could kill me if I breathed it in.I stared at him, at his face showing guilt and desperation and something that looked like pain. At his clothes he's in."You're sorry," I said, very flat, and emotionless, and nust repeating his words back to him."Scarlett—""Don't." My hand came up between us. "Don't say my name like that."His face crumbled slightly but I didn't care. I couldn't care, not when I could still see him through that restaurant window smiling at someone else.I stepped back from the doorway. Into my room, and he followed even though I didn't invite him, but I'd expected that.I closed the door behind him, and we just stood apart from ourselves. I was by the window, and he stood there by the door. The distance between us felt both too much and not enough.Right now, with all that going on in my mind, being with h
I couldn't stop crying.The tears just kept streaming down my face, and my chest was heaving with sobs. I didn't see this coming, me breaking apart in my car on some random side street.The image wouldn't fucking leave my mind. His eyes meeting mine through that restaurant window. The way he looked at the car, at me. The moment he knew I'd caught him.He knew now. I saw. I knew. We couldn't pretend anymore.My phone buzzed on the passenger seat.I didn't want to look. Couldn't handle it. But I looked anyway.Three texts. All from him.My hands were shaking as I picked up the phone, and opened the messages.Jax: "Scarlett'Just my name. Sent right after I drove past. Two minutes ago.Jax: "I can explain"Could he? Could he really explain what I'd just seen?Jax: "I'm coming home. We need to talk"Dread settled heavy in my stomach. I'd have to face him. I'd have to listen to whatever explanation he thought would make this okay.I couldn't stay here on this random side street crying for
I sat there alone with the engine off, just breathing, and trying to make my brain work properly.Nina had driven away minutes ago after making sure I was okay. I am not okay. But at least, I'm alone now and that was something.The silence in the car was deafening. Just me and my spinning thoughts that wouldn't fucking stop.What I knew: We were alone together in the morning. And maybe, just maybe he had to go to work, or maybe a work meeting. That wasn't a work meeting.Or maybe the meeting ended early and he ran into her, and he knew her, they knew themselves, or maybe he wanted to grab lunch and they innocently met there.The way they'd looked together. It was very comfortable, very comfortable and easy, this isn't accidental. That was planned.Or maybe it was a business lunch and it was still work, and it just looked like that from the outside.But that restaurant, that atmosphere, that intimacy, or semi-intimacy....That couldn't be work.Who was she? Colleague? Client? Friend? E
I couldn't move.I could feel Nina beside me, could feel people walking past. But I was frozen.My eyes locked on that window. On that table. On him. On them.I couldn't look away even though every instinct screamed that I should. Even though it was killing me. I just kept staring."Scarlett?" Nina's voice sounded distant. It was like a voice from underwater. "Scarlett, you okay?"I could see everything through the glass.The table near the window. It was a very good view. A view of two people sitting across from each other. Two people on a date. Jax and a lady I'd never seen before.They were positioned very close. The feel between them was so very intimate. That kind of close that happens at a two-person table when you actually want to be there. This is not work, or acquaintance or friendship.Just like he was me and wanted to make me regret looking, he started leaning forward slightly. He was so engaged in whatever the hell they were talking about. His body language was so very eas
“That was fun," Nina said as we stepped out into the afternoon sun."Really fun and good. Thanks again for sharing that."The lookbook was safely tucked in her bag now, very protected and cared for.The street ahead was busy with contagious energy. Couples strolling, and families out, the whole upscale neighborhood vibe."Want to walk around?" Nina asked. "I have time if you do."I checked my phone quickly. No texts from Jax. Nothing."Yeah, sure. Let's do it." I replied, with a very bright smile.We started walking slow. It didn't even feel like we were going anywhere, just wandering down the street lined with boutiques and cafes and galleries. Everything, every single thing in the area is very expensive and intentional.The first shop we passed had designer dresses in the window. Beautiful displays, and as if we planned it, both of us paused naturally, then smiled when we realized we both did."See how they styled it?" Nina pointed at the mannequin. "The proportions."I nodded, anal
The word hung in the air heavy with everything we couldn't say, and I looked away first because I couldn't handle the weight of it, couldn't handle what I saw in his eyes when he said it.My heart was pounding and my hands felt shaky and I hated that he could still do this to me, could s
I heard the sound of everything before I even entered. Stepping back into the ballroom felt like entering a completely different world than the one I'd left twenty minutes ago.The space was still glittering with chandeliers and crowded with even more elegant people holding champagne flutes, classi
The conversation was still flowing easily and all I know was that I was laughing at something Alex had said when I felt it.I felt that kind of awareness that crawled up my spine and made the hair on the back of my neck stand up in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature of whe
Lexi Hart. My actual best friend.She's standing right there with white wine all over her pink mini dress.That same wide-eyed shock on her face, and then she was breaking into the biggest grin."SCARLETT?!""LEXI?!"There were pure disbelief and joy a







