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It's been a month since the boys are here.

A month since I've heard of Luca.

The first two weeks after our final goodbye was the worst period of my life.

Okay, maybe it wasn't the worst because the days were great- I had my kids with me, spending quality time with them making me forget of a certain someone who's been my source of entertainment for the past five months.

What's worst was the nights; they were the worst I've ever experienced.

Right after the boys went to bed, I buried myself under the blanket. I couldn't get out of it doesn't matter how Abby tried to cheer me up or lure me out, because all I wanted to do after a long day with them, putting a happy front by neglecting my own feelings, after all of those, come night I really wanted to digest those very same feelings even if it's all heartache and pure sadness. I wanted to come to terms with them because I knew I had to process everything in order to let go and move on.

I moped around like a teenager who's had her hea