Chapter 1

28 July 1864

To: Miss Abigail via Mrs. Sheffield

c/o St. Louis Boarding House & Orphanage for Lost Souls

Dear Abigail,

I have safely arrived at my post, Ft. Gibson, in Indian Territory. During my travels, I have thought of you often. Our first meeting was so brief, but I felt a kinship to you. I wonder if you felt the same. As promised, I will share about my adventures.

Ft. Gibson has been quiet since my arrival. I am told that the tribe of Indians who live in the area are called the Cherokee. I have learned they are a peaceful people, who only want to be left alone to raise their families on the land that God provides. Although one of the more peaceful tribes, they will not hesitate to protect their families.

I had the privilege of meeting the chief and his son, Wohali. Wohali appears to be fierce, but is actually a kind man. He stands almost as tall as me. He is one of the tallest men in his village. He has a strong face and long black hair, that is usually flowing freely down his back. I found out today, that his name means Eagle in the Cherokee tongue. Being the son of the chief, he is responsible for being a leader and exuding strength and he has a fierce protectiveness of his people.

Wohali has a sister, whose name is Alora. Her name means Dreamer. They say that she is quite lovely and has visions. I would like to meet her to find out about her visions. I wonder if she could tell me about my future?

Because mail delivery is not consistent coming into Indian Territory, I am sending this to you via army dispatch. It will take longer for the letter to arrive, but it will also aid in your need for privacy. I trust that you are doing well and I pray for you every day. I pray that the good Lord will offer you guidance and protection from whatever may be troubling you. I would love to continue writing to you so that perhaps we may become more acquainted.

Affectionately Yours,

Captain Henry Spertzel

9 August 1864

To: Captain Heinrich Spertzel

c/o Fort Gibson, Indian Territory

Dear Henry,

I received your letter today. First, let me say, thank you for doing as I asked and putting my letter inside another letter addressed to Mrs. Sheffield. I cannot tell you why just now, but it is for my protection. I will send my responses to you through army dispatch as well. The privacy will do much to ease my mind about my need for protection.

I was so happy to hear that you are doing well. I am glad that you had not seen any trouble with the Indians as of your letter. Wohali, Alora and the Cherokee people seem fascinating. I hope to one day have the privilege of meeting them. Please pass along my best wishes for their families.

I am doing quite well. Mrs. Sheffield keeps all of us busy. Our days are spent caring for the smaller children, learning how to cook, sew, maintain a household, and other mundane tasks that most of us already know. However, I try to learn as much as I can. I know that I won’t be able to stay here forever and I want to be prepared to make it on my own when the time arrives.

I agree that it would be wonderful to continue writing and to get to know one another. What can I tell you about myself? I was born and raised in New Orleans. My father owns a fleet of merchant ships that sail the Caribbean Sea. My mother is a whiny simp who never speaks out against my father. In fact, I remember once when I was very small, my mother said something to him and he slapped her and she cried. I don’t think she ever spoke out against him after that. I left home just after this past Christmas and made my way to Mrs. Sheffield’s.

I have made some wonderful friends since my arrival. I will tell you about each of them in a future letter. But for now, let me tell you more about myself. I am eighteen years old. My birthday was a few days before we met. I love to read. Pride and Prejudice and Wuthering Heights are two of my favorites. I have a sweet tooth for cookies, oatmeal is my favorite. Do you have any favorites? Books, cookies, pastries?

Please take care of yourself and I hope to hear from you soon.

Affectionately Yours,

Abigail

26 August 1864

To: Miss Abigail via Mrs. Sheffield

c/o St. Louis Boarding House & Orphanage for Lost Souls

Dear Abigail,

All is still quiet here at Ft. Gibson. My replacement has arrived and I will soon be heading south to Ft. Sill. My replacement is none other than our Mrs. Sheffield’s nephew, Matthew. He will be sending along a letter for her in this missive.

I will continue to do as you have asked, and send these letters addressed to Mrs. Sheffield. Can you explain why? Your letter mentioned that it was for your safety. Are you in danger? I would gladly come to protect you; I only need to know where the danger lies. I will ask God to give you the courage to tell me, to know that you can trust me. I promise, I only want the very best for you.

You once lived in New Orleans, that explains your very southern accent. Why did you leave home at seventeen? Another question that I hope you will be comfortable in answering. Your father sounds heavy handed. I have known men like him; they are power hungry. Please forgive me, I should not speak ill of your father. I do not know him. I base that statement only on your description of his treatment of your mother. I wonder, is that why you left home?

Abigail, sweet Abigail, I continue to pray for your safety. Especially now that I know you are in some kind of danger. I, too, am in a dangerous place. Could I ask you to pray for me as well? I have no one left in the world, my parents died of small pox not six weeks after Gettysburg. I had a sister who married a few months after the war started. Her husband died in battle and she died giving birth to their child. The child did not survive either. Having no family is difficult and lonely. Knowing that you are praying for me would bring me comfort to know that maybe I am not alone after all.

I love all food. My favorite is apple pie. My Mutter (mother) used to make it every Sunday. She even taught me to cook a few of my favorite meals. She was convinced I was going to be a bachelor. Probably because none of the girls in our town struck my fancy. I was too busy helping my Vater (father) in the field to worry about girls. Maybe, if you come see me, before you settle down, I will make you some Spatzle. Another favorite dish of mine is sauerkraut and bratwurst. I also know how to make fausnaughts. I love to brush them with sugar or glaze. Just writing about these foods is making my stomach growl. I will need to make them soon.

I too like to read; Dickens is my current favorite. I just finished reading A Tale of Two Cities. If you haven’t read it yet, you should try to find it or I will send my copy to you. I think you might enjoy it.

I do not know how soon I will be able to write again. As I said, I will be headed south. Until I notify you further, continue sending letters to me here at Ft. Gibson.

Most Affectionately Yours

Captain Henry

16 September 1864

To: Captain Heinrich Spertzel

c/o Fort Gibson, Indian Territory

Dearest Henry,

I have been and will continue to pray for your safety. I understand the feeling of being alone. Although I have my friends here at the boarding house, I am still very much alone. I hope to someday have a husband and home of my own.

I received your letter several days ago and I have struggled over what to tell you. I don’t want to put your life in more danger because you are worried about me. But I also think it would be a nice thing to know that someone knows what is going on with my life. Even though we haven’t shared many letters, I feel a bond with you unlike any I have ever known. Please allow me a little more time to get to know you and maybe then I will feel comfortable sharing my troubles with you.

In my previous missive, I promised that I would tell you about my friends here at the boarding house. First, there is Charlotte. She is twenty-two and has been here the longest. She was one of the first orphans that Mrs. Sheffield took in. Charlotte was about three years old when she was found on the steps of Mrs. Sheffield’s house. Mrs. Sheffield actually adopted her when they couldn’t find Charlotte’s parents. She is fiercely protective of the little ones who find themselves here at the orphanage.

Hannah came to the orphanage after her parents and baby brother died in a house fire. Charlotte said that it took quite a while for Hannah to open up and begin to live again. I can’t imagine watching as the house burned down around my family. Even as strange as my family is, I still cannot imagine living through that.

Emily has been here a little over a year now. She told me that her widowed mother wanted her to join a convent so that Emily wouldn’t have to know the pain of losing the love of your life. Rather than going to join the convent, she came here instead. I think her mother still thinks that she went to the convent.

Mary Jane. What can I say about Mary Jane? She is definitely a character. She was raised in a brothel in Texas. Her mother kept her sheltered from the wandering eyes and hands of the patrons but taught Mary Jane everything she thought she needed to know about pleasing a man. Her mother wanted her to have a better life and a chance at a good marriage, so she contacted Mrs. Sheffield and arranged for Mary Jane to stay at the boarding house and learn how to be a lady. She arrived in December 1863 and still can’t sew a straight stitch. That girl is helpless.

I hope that it is alright with you, but I haven’t told the girls about our letters. I want to keep it just between us, at least for now.

I have not read Dickens but would love to if given the opportunity. Would you mind sharing your copy? I promise to take care of it until we meet again.

I, too, hope to travel to see you sometime. You will definitely have to prepare a meal for me. I asked Mrs. Sheffield about the foods you mentioned and she had only heard of sauerkraut and sausages. She said the others must be native to Germany. Given your last name, I would assume that your parents had come from there. My family is from France.

I await your next letter and will pray for your safety.

Yours,

Abigail

28 October 1864

To: Miss Abigail via Mrs. Sheffield

c/o St. Louis Boarding House & Orphanage for Lost Souls

My Dearest Abigail,

I love getting your letters. It is the high point of my day, each time one arrives. Thank you for your prayers and I am glad to know you are doing well. I am already planning the exact meal I will prepare upon your arrival.

Your friends sound wonderful. Each one with a unique history and I am sure they have a wonderful personality to go with it. You are truly blessed to be surrounded by such strong and courageous women.

I am including my copy of Dickens “A Tale of Two Cities” in this missive. I hope that you enjoy it and do not worry about returning it to me any time soon. You may keep it as long as you like.

I am now in Fort Sill. Please send your letters to me here. I have been here for just under a fortnight. Tensions are high but I hope that with the help of my Indian guide and translator we will be able to maintain peace. The biggest obstacle to that peace is the Comanche. They are angry at the government for displacing them and they constantly make trouble with the soldiers and other tribes. I have not yet been able to arrange a meeting with their chief, but hope that I will find success when the meeting takes place.

We all want peace. Unfortunately, I do not agree with what the government has done by moving all of these natives to this territory. The greed of the white man continues to grow and I wonder what will happen when the white men decide they want this land as well. Where will the natives be sent? I have three more years until my commission is concluded and I hope to find a quiet place to live out my days. I love the peacefulness and the beauty of the territory and I will not be returning to Pennsylvania where my cousins are still living.

I shared your well wishes with Wohali. He smiled at the thought of your kindness to an Indian. He has not met many who were kind without wanting something in return. He says this is why many of the natives do not trust the government or the white man. Given the history of the people, I can understand their viewpoint.

Your last letter mentioned that you wanted to keep our letters from your friends. I have no problem with you doing that. I am glad that at least Mrs. Sheffield knows that we are writing to one another. When you decide to tell your friends is completely up to you. I have only shared with Matthew and Wohali that we are writing. So, for now, the letters are just between us.

I have something I wish to ask you. Your previous letter also indicated that you plan to one day move and have a life of your own. Does the future you envision include a husband and maybe a few children?

I eagerly await word from you and wish you the best of health.

Only Yours,

Henry

25 November 1864

To: Captain Heinrich Spertzel

c/o Fort Sill, Indian Territory

My Dearest Henry,

By the time you received this it will almost be Christmas. So, Merry Christmas! I hope that the day is peaceful and you can reflect on the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Does it snow in Indian Territory? St. Louis saw the first snow of the season last week. Being from New Orleans, it was the first time I had seen snow. I thought it was lovely.

I continue to pray for your success in dealing with the Comanche. They sound fierce and I would not want to meet one in a bad situation. I look forward to hearing more about them and your dealings with them in future letters.

I would love to have a home someday. A husband to kiss me when he comes home from his daily work. A husband who respects me as a person, who values my abilities and wants a partnership. I definitely do not want someone who seeks ownership. I would to have several children scurrying about underfoot. Lots of cuddles and hugs. A happy place, where all who enter feel loved and cared for. Where would I live? I don’t know yet. It depends on what my husband and I decide once married. What about you? What are your dreams for after your commission expires? You mentioned staying in the territory. Is there a specific area that you find most appealing? Do you also seek a family? Would you desire to continue farming as your father did?

I know that you have been ever so patient with me about my safety and my reason for leaving Louisiana. The two matters are actually one in the same. By the time you receive this, it will have been almost a full year since I left home and I have grown so much since that time. I am ever so grateful to Mrs. Sheffield for allowing me shelter in my time of need. I share have decided to share with you the short version of why I left New Orleans.

I mentioned previously that my father owned a fleet of merchant ships. He actually was in business with another man. The two of them decided that it would be advantageous for me to marry my father’s business partner. I did not want to because the man is vulgar and at least twice my age. Mr. Rossi, my father’s business partner, pulled me into his lap when my father announced our engagement. Mr. Rossi was talking in an ill manner towards me and my father did nothing. I decided that I would not be married off like some piece of property. I stole some money from my father’s home office, and fled. I spent the next two and half months traveling all over, trying to keep my father from finding me. I was running out of funds and heard about the boarding house and made it St. Louis, using the last of my money to buy a stagecoach ticket. When I arrived in St. Louis, I had to walk across town because I couldn’t hire a coach.

Mrs. Sheffield has been kind enough to allow me to use her brother’s last name, calling me her niece from back east, anytime someone inquires about me. Once I know that my father and Mr. Rossi are no longer searching for me, I will feel more comfortable using my own name. I know that if they found out I was here, they would stop at nothing to make me return to New Orleans, and I would rather die than to marry that awful man.

I hope that now you understand my need for secrecy in regards to our letters.

Oh, I forgot to mention, Mrs. Sheffield has pondered the idea of setting up a mail order bride service. There are several other young ladies here at the boarding house who are ready to marry and move on. I am not quite ready for that myself, but I am considering it for my future. I wonder though, is that something that you would consider? Sending for a wife without seeing or meeting her? To only hope that when you send your list of desires in a wife, that Mrs. Sheffield would match you with the perfect person?

Why does the thought of you marrying someone else, stir my heart?

Yours,

Abigail

27 December 1864

To: Miss Abigail via Mrs. Sheffield

c/o St. Louis Boarding House & Orphanage for Lost Souls

Mein Schatz,

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Your letter was delayed due to snow and it only just arrived this morning. So, to answer your question, yes, it snows in Indian Territory. Only it seems to not stick around like it does back east. It snowed hard for three days last week and as of today, it is all gone. You wouldn’t even know that it snowed.

The Comanche continue to remain quiet. Wohali says it is because it is winter. Come spring they will begin to cause trouble again. Wohali travels between here and Fort Gibson every so often. He continues acting as our liaison with the tribes. When we travel from the fort to meet with a tribe, he goes with us. We have seen much success so far and I hope that it continues.

Concerning your need for secrecy and protection, I completely agree. Until you are living away from there, in a safe place or you know they are not looking for you, we must continue to send letters as we are. I am appalled at the actions of your father! I wish that I could see him just once so that I can punch him. How awful of him to treat his child in such a manner? And even worse to allow another man to do the same! Especially, when at the time, you were still technically a child. I know that many ladies your age already have several children, but it is becoming more acceptable for ladies to wait until they reach at least eighteen before they wed.

Speaking of marriage. Yes, I do want a wife and children someday. It seems that our dreams of marriage are very similar. Love, passion, loyalty, safety, compassion. I want it all. It may seem funny for a man, even stranger for a soldier, to speak of love and compassion, but those are things that I remember from my Vater and how he treated my Muter.

Mail order brides? I have heard some of the men talking about this. In fact, I joined in on some of their discussions. I must say, I wouldn’t have previously thought of it as an option for myself. However, given my experiences and current situation, I have decided to give the matter some serious thought. I do have one request though. If I may? Before you agree to wed another, would you please let me know?

If I were to decide to send for a bride, I know of a very lovely blonde-haired lady that I would be honored to call my wife. Would you consider me, Meine Schatz? I, too, get a strange feeling thinking of you wed to another.

Be safe, Meine Liebe. I await your response.

Only Yours,

Henry

6 February 1865

TO: Captain Heinrich Spertzel

c/o Fort Sill, Indian Territory

My Dearest Henry,

Your letter was also delayed by another snow storm. I will be glad when spring arrives. I am impatient waiting for each one of your letters to arrive. The days between are too many at times. I have still not told the others of our letters. Life here moves so slowly at times. I have learned how to quilt and sew, skills my father never felt were necessary. I fear that when I marry, I will have many trunks to bring with me to my new home due to my ever-growing pile of dresses and linens for my home.

 Mrs. Sheffield continues to train me in the “proper running of a household” as she calls it. We have a new boarder, Marguerite, whose parents were German. She will only be here a short time as she was waylaid on her journey west due to the poor weather. Marguerite is teaching me how to make spatzel and fausnaughts. She made them for us during the last fortnight. I enjoyed both very much. I hope to someday enjoy them with you.

It is unfair of you to use German when you assume that I do not know the language. Will you tell me what Meine Schatz and Meine Liebe means? I cannot ask Marguerite because then I will have to explain how I heard those words and then my friends will find out. And with those four! I will never hear the end of it! They will want to read every letter you have sent to me. Ummm. Nope. Not going to happen.

I do not find it strange that we both seek the same things from marriage. We have been writing for close to a year now and I feel like I know you so well from your letters. You asked if I would consider you as a husband. Each time I receive a letter from you, my heart begins to beat so loudly, I fear it will leap from my chest. And then the butterflies in my stomach decide to take flight and I can sometimes barely breathe. I spoke with Mrs. Sheffield concerning this and she told me that it is my body’s way of giving me clues about my feelings. I believe that she is correct.

When the time comes, and I feel ready to leave the boarding house, yes, I would most definitely consider you as a mail order husband. Is that strange to hear? I can almost envision living with you at the post. Making a home and keeping it a place of refuge for you to return to after your dealings with the tribes.

I can almost picture children with you. Blonde haired little boys whose eyes see everything. Green eyes that sparkle in the sun. They would grow to be honorable men just like you! Can you see it?

Henry, Mon Coeur, I have thought of nothing but a possible future with you ever since Mrs. Sheffield announced the mail order bride option. Put your mind at ease, Mon Coeur, I would not consider anyone else. When the time is right, I will come to you and you alone. If that is still your desire.

Seulement les tiens,

Abigail

Notes for reader:

Mein Schatz-My Sweetheart (German)

Meine Liebe-My Love (German)

Mon Coeur-My Heart (French)

Seulement les tiens-Only Yours (French)