Pain in my heart

Seline

"Isabel, how could you? I considered you my friend." My voice cracked as I blocked her path, my trembling hands gripping the edge of the gate stopping her from leaving. My whole body was shaking, but not from the cold, it was from the storm raging inside me.

Isabel’s face showed no shame, no regret that matched the weight of her betrayal. Instead, she looked at me with an unsettling calm.

"I’m sorry it happened," she said, her tone flat, almost careless. "I just couldn’t control myself, you know? So just move on. Away from Jude, okay?"

The words struck like knives, one after the other. I stared at her, wide-eyed, praying this was some kind of sick joke. But Isabel never lied. Not once in all the years we had been friends. That was the problem, I knew she was telling the truth. My stomach twisted as though the ground had opened beneath me.

She left my house, her heels striking the floor with sharp clicks before she slammed the gate behind her. The sound echoed in my chest like a final nail being driven into the coffin of our friendship.

I head back to the house and i sank to the couch, my hands pressing against my temples. "No, no, this can’t be happening," I whispered, tears stinging my eyes. My heart burned, every beat screaming Jude’s name. "How could Jude do this to me, after everything? How could they both do this to me?"

My chest ached so badly it felt like I couldn’t breathe. My best friend. My boyfriend. The two people I trusted most had chosen betrayal over loyalty.

* * * * * * * * * *

It was still early, the morning air heavy with silence, but I couldn’t sit still. My pain wouldn’t let me. I needed answers, not from Isabel, but from Jude. He had to look me in the eyes and tell me why.

My footsteps carried me to his place as if I were possessed. Every step replayed his accusations from my birthday, the way he had treated me like I was guilty, like I had stabbed him in the back. And yet, it was him all along. Him and Isabel.

By the time I reached his gate, fury had taken over my grief. I banged on the iron bars with all my strength, my fists raw, my cries sharp in the still morning air. It didn’t take long before Jude appeared, his face shadowed, his eyes tired.

"What are you doing here? I thought I told you never to come here again." His voice was cold, distant like I was nothing to him.

My heart shattered all over again. "What?" I screamed, my voice breaking. "Jude, I cannot believe you. You’re a snake. How could you sleep with my best friend? I never betrayed you, Jude! You didn’t even give me a chance to explain myself, and now you..." My voice faltered, drowned by the sob lodged in my throat. "And now you do this to me. Why? Tell me why!"

He stiffened, his jaw tightening. "Nothing like that happened," he said. but I could see it in his eyes, the guilt, the hesitation, the truth he couldn’t bury.

"Don’t lie to me!" I shouted. My tears blurred my vision, but I could still see the way his shoulders tensed, the way he avoided my gaze. "She told me everything, Jude. Everything! And you are still standing there denying it? Look me in the eyes and tell me it’s not true!" I said.

He said nothing. He just stood there silent. His heavy silence, was his answer.

That was all I needed. My heart went numb. My love for him, the trust I had carried for two long years, crumbled into dust.

"Well, from this moment on, I will stop waiting for you," I whispered, my voice trembling but steady with finality. "You pretended like I betrayed you, like I was the villain, but it’s you. You’re the one who killed us. I don’t want to be with you anymore, Jude. It’s over. Officially over. Just go. Be with Isabel. I don’t care anymore."

I turned on my heel, not daring to look back. My legs felt like lead, every step away from him heavier than the last, but I kept going. If I stayed a second longer, I would collapse in front of him.

My tears blurred the world as I left his gate behind me. "This isn’t how I imagined our love would end," I whispered into the wind. I had thought what we had was forever, that the love we built, the two years we shared, would be unshakable. But I was wrong. It was just another passing moment for him.

The pain was unbearable, as if someone had reached inside me and torn my heart apart. Yet, buried beneath the grief was a small flicker of relief. At least now I knew the truth. At least I wouldn’t waste another moment clinging to a love built on lies.

And Isabel, my so-called friend. She had never truly valued me. All those laughs, secrets, promises of sisterhood, they were nothing but illusions.

I wiped my tears, my chest still burning, but I forced myself to keep walking. "I will struggle to move on," I said quietly, almost as if I were making a vow to myself. "But I will move on. I have to. I am strong enough to survive this."

Even if my heart was in pieces, even if my soul felt empty, I would rebuild. I would rise from this pain.

But as I walked away from Jude’s gate, the truth settled deep in my chest, moving on would be the hardest battle I would ever face.