For me, for her

Alina

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It was the sound of my life passing by, waiting for a man who didn't want to come home.

I still lay there, staring at the empty space where Liam had stood. My hand was still resting on my stomach. I couldn't sleep. It was long gone.

My phone buzzed on the nightstand, making me jump.

The screen lit up the dark room, blinding me for a moment.

I reached for my phone, my heart doing a nervous flip. It was 2:00 AM. Who would be texting me now?

[Message from: Chloe]

Chloe was my best friend, the only person in the world who knew how lonely my "fairy tale" marriage actually was. She was out tonight at The Sapphire Lounge, the most exclusive club in the city.

I slid the notification and tapped the message.

[Chloe: Jules... I don't know if I should send this. But you deserve to know.]

My stomach dropped. She never sent me messages this late unless it was important.

[Chloe: Sent a photo]

I tapped on the image. It took a second to load, and when it did, I felt like someone had punched me in the chest.

The photo was blurry, taken from a distance but there was no mistaking him.

Liam was sitting on a velvet sofa, holding a glass of champagne. He wasn't on his phone. He wasn't looking bored, like he usually did when he was with me.

He was smiling. A real, genuine smile that reached his eyes.

And he was looking at her.

Sitting next to him was a woman in a shimmering red dress.

She was beautiful in a way that was effortless. She was laughing, her hand resting casually on Liam’s arm.

Above their heads, a digital banner on the wall read: "Welcome Home, Amily."

Amily.

The name echoed in my head like a curse. I knew that name. Every person in our social circle knew that name.

She was Liam’s first love. The woman he loved before his grandmother forced him to marry me. She had moved to Paris three years ago to pursue her modeling career.

Under the photo, Chloe had sent a text.

[Chloe: It’s a welcome back party. Everyone is here. He rented out the whole VIP section for her.]

A charity gala.

That was the lie he told me. He looked me in the eyes, after being intimate with me and lied so he could go celebrate the return of the woman he actually wanted.

I zoomed in on the photo. Liam was looking at Amily with a softness I had never seen directed at me.

Not once in three years.

For me, he had duty. For her, he had desire.

I threw the phone across the bed as if it had burned me. I curled into a tight ball and pulled the duvet over my head.

"You fool." I whispered to myself. "You absolute fool."

I had thought, just for a moment tonight, that maybe we had a chance. That maybe this baby would be a bridge between us.

But he was right for not wanting a baby with me. A baby can't fix a broken heart. And it certainly can’t make a man love you when his heart belongs to someone else.

I cried until my eyes were swollen shut. I cried for the parents I lost, for the husband I never really had and for the baby who was already rejected before it was even born.

And I cried for the foolish girl I was, thinking that if I just loved him enough, he would eventually forget her.

He hadn't forgotten. He never would.

The next morning, the sun felt too bright. It mocked the darkness I felt inside.

I splashed cold water on my face, trying to hide the evidence of my tears. My eyes were puffy, and my skin looked pale. I applied extra concealer, hoping it would be enough.

The housekeeper, Mrs. Potts, called up the stairs. "Madam? Mrs. Heather Allison is here to see you."

My heart skipped a beat. Liam’s grandmother.

"I will be right down," I called out.

I took a deep breath, smoothed down my dress and practiced my fake smile in the mirror. It was a mask I wore every day.

When I walked into the sunroom, Grandmother was sitting on the floral sofa, sipping tea. She was a small woman, but she had a presence that filled the room.

"Grandmother.” I said softly as walked over to kiss her cheek. "What a lovely surprise."

She smiled and patted the seat next to her. "Alina, my dear. I missed you." She said as she took my hands in hers. Her grip was strong for a woman in her eighties. She looked me up and down. "Are you eating enough?" She asked. "You feel thin."

"I am fine.” I lied as I sat next to her. "Just a little tired."

Mrs. Potts poured me a cup of tea but the smell of it made my stomach turn. I placed the cup down without drinking.

"Where is Liam?" Grandmother asked, looking around.

"He went to the office early." I said. Another lie.

Grandmother sighed, shaking her head. "That boy. He is just like his father. Work, work, work. He forgets to live." She smiled wistfully. "I remember when he was a little boy. He used to run around this garden with muddy knees, chasing butterflies. He was so full of life then. He has become so serious since he took over the company."

She looked at me, her expression turning serious. "He needs softness in his life, Alina. He needs family."

I knew where this was going. My stomach churned.

"I spoke to him last night." she said, watching me closely. "I asked him about children."

I froze. The memory of Liam’s voice from last night echoed in my head.

You saddled me with a wife... I don't want a child.

"What... what did he say?" I asked, faking the curiosity.

"He was stubborn, as usual." She sighed, waving her hand dismissively. "But men don't know what they want until they have it. Once he holds his own son or daughter, he will melt. I know it."

"Grandmother..." I started, my voice trembling.

"I am not trying to pressure you." She said gently as she squeezed my hand. "But a house this big is too quiet without the sound of children. A baby would bring Liam back to life. It would make us a complete family."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell her, Yes! I am pregnant! But your grandson hates the idea! He is with his ex-girlfriend right now!

But I couldn't.

If I told her, she would force Liam to be happy about it. And Liam would resent me even more. He would think I used his grandmother to trap him.

"We..." I looked down at my lap, unable to meet her hopeful eyes. "We aren't planning on children right now, Grandmother. Liam is very busy. And I... I am not ready."

Grandmother’s face fell. The light in her eyes dimmed, just a little.

"I see." She sounded disappointed, but she quickly covered it with a smile. "Well, there is still plenty of time. You are both young."

She finished her tea and stood up to leave. I rushed to help her, offering my arm.

"Thank you, dear." She patted my cheek. Her expression softened, and for a moment, she looked just like the woman who took me in when I was a terrified, orphaned teenager.

"You know why I chose you for him, don't you?" She asked softly.

I nodded slowly. "Because my parents saved him."

"No." She said firmly. "That is why I owe your family a debt. But I chose you because you have a good heart. You are strong, like your mother was."

She stepped closer, cupping my face in her hand. "I promised your parents on the day of their funeral that I would take care of you. I promised that you would never be alone. If Liam is ever difficult, if you are ever unhappy... you tell me. You are a Allison now. You are my daughter."

Tears pricked my eyes again, threatening to spill over.

"Thank you, Grandmother." I muttered.

I walked her to the waiting car.

I watched as the driver took her away, down the long, winding driveway of the estate.

As soon as the car disappeared around the bend, the strength left my legs.

I sank down onto the stone steps of the porch, wrapping my arms around myself.

You are not alone.

That was the biggest lie of all.

I was more alone than I had ever been.

I looked up at the blue sky, blinking through the blur of tears.

"Mom? Dad?" I spoke to the sky.

I wished they were here. I wished I could run to my mother and bury my face in her lap. I wished I could ask my father what to do. They were the only people in the world who would have loved this baby unconditionally. They were the only ones who would have protected me from Liam’s coldness.

But the sky was silent.