Chapter Four

I cleared the bail without thinking it through. The officer went to fetch Kiesel. My hands felt numb as I signed the papers. It was done. Saved him again—lost count. He walked out, smelling like cigarettes, playing victim. I didn’t look.

“Don’t speak,” I snapped before he could open his mouth. “Just get in the car.”

I dropped him off at his apartment, thankful that mom was still pulling her double shift at the hospital. She didn’t need to see the shame written all over my face—or bandage on my forehead.

By the time I got to my room, I was vibrating with anxiety. The alert still sitting on my screen like a ticking bomb. My phone buzzed again, this time a call from Xalia.

“Khi! Tell me you are coming tonight’s party,” she chirped.

I was exhausted. My head throbbed, my heart felt like it had been through a paper shredder. But the thought of sitting in this quiet apartment, staring at my community college flyers and thinking about Noah’s gift, was worse. I needed a break. I needed to tell her everything—especially the kiss that was currently ruining my life.

“Fine,” I breathed, glancing at the clock. It was still early afternoon. “Pick me up in 6 hours. I need to sleep for a century.”

I spent the next few hours in a restless daze, the image of Noah’s shirtless body and those ice-blue eyes burned into my eyelids. When the sun finally started setting down, I dragged myself up to my closet.

I didn’t have fancy clothes like the girls in my school and the ones who hung around the Graves, but I found a short, black flare gown. It was simple, but it made me feel  a little less like a “drama queen” and a little more like a girl with a plan. I pulled my hair into a messy updo, leaving few strands down to try and hide the ugly bruise near my hairline.

Six hours later, right on cue, a horn honked outside. I looked out the window to see Xalia’s car. It was way better than my rattling metal trap.

I grabbed my purse and took a deep breath. I walked out of my house, trying to match the confident click of my heels with the chaos in brain. The moment I opened the passenger seat, Xalia let out a whistle that probably echoed down the entire block.

“Okay, who is this girl and what did you do with my best-friend?” She hyped, her grin wide and infectious. “Khi, you look incredible. That dress is doing it for you girl!”

 I felt a genuine smile tug at my lips for the first time all day. Xalia was like a shot of pure melatonin for my soul—calm, sweet, and totally grounded. She was gorgeous, with glowing skin, deep hazel eyes, and a crown of perfect brown 4a curls that I was constantly jealous of.

She didn’t come from money either, but unlike me, Xalia knew how to navigate the social scene like a pro. She was the type of girl who could walk into a room of millionaires and make them feel like they were the ones lucky to be there. Plus, it didn’t hurt that she was dating a hot, rich sophomore in college who treated her like a queen.

“Thanks, X, I needed that,” I said, sinking into the plush seat of her car. It smelled like vanilla and expensive leather—a total upgrade from my rattling metal trap.

As the car rolled down the road, my mouth felt heavy, like the words were physical weights pressing against my tongue. I kept shifting in the seat, picking the hem of my black dress and glancing at Xalia every five second.

She noticed. She always noticed everything. “Khi, what’s wrong? You good?” She asked, her brow furrowing as she slowed down for a stoplight. “You’ve being vibrating since you got in.”

“I…yeah, yeah,” I stammered, my heart doing the familiar beat against my ribs. “Just……it’s being a long day, X.”

 

“Ooookkkaayyyy….” She said slowly,not sounding convinced at all. She reached for the volume knob to loud the music, her hazel eyes already scanning the road ahead.

“Let’s just get some bass in here and forget the drama for a few hours.”

But as her fingers touched the dial, the pressure in my chest finally snapped. I couldn’t hold it in for another second.

“Noah Graves and I kissed!” I blurted out. The words barely left my mouth when the car went on an unintentionally, violent break. My seatbelt locked, jerking me forward as the tire screeched against the asphalt, bringing us to a dead halt in the middle of the empty street.

“You what?” Xalia gasped, her hands gripping the steering wheel so hard. She turned to me, her 4a curls bouncing with a sudden movement, her eyes wide with total shock. “Noah? As in the Noah Graves? The hockey star jerk who treats everyone like dirt? Zion’s brother?”

I could only nod, my face was burning up. I bit my lip, tasting a metallic tang of blood. I was so embarrassed.

“I thought you hated him?” Xalia asked.

“I do!” I blurted out, my voice sounding desperate even to my own ears. “I still do! He is arrogant, he’s a bully, he treats me like I am some charity project he has to tolerate because of Zion.”

Xalia didn’t move the car. She just stared at me like I’d grown a second head. “Khione,” she calls my name when she was being serious. “The guy has spent eight years making your life a living hell. He’s the reason you spent most of middle school hiding in the library. He literally calls you “Drama Queen” like it’s your legal name. You don’t kiss your bully.”

“I knowwww!!” I groaned, dropping my head into my hands. “I still hate him, but I also…. I don’t know, X. For a second, when he was holding me in the bathroom, the world just stopped. It wasn’t the jerk, Noah. It was just…him. And he looked at me like I actually mattered.”

I let out a shaky breath, finally looking at her. “But then the door opened, and the mask came back. He tossed me aside for Maddie like I was a piece of trash he was done playing with. I felt so stupid.”

“Does Zion know?” Xalia voice barely a whisper as she finally let the car roll forward.

“He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even know about me applying not applying for Harvard, now to talk of his brother kissing me.” I said, the word feeling like lead in my stomach.

Xalia foot hovered over the gas, her head whipping me forward again. “What? Khione, you guys have been planning that since we were ten! The matching dorms, Boston winters—you’ve talked about nothing else for years.

“Talk is free,X. Tuition isn’t,” I snapped, then immediately softened, my shoulders dropping in defeat. “He got his acceptance today. He was jumping around the kitchen, so happy, talking about us being roommates. I had to stand there and fake a smile while my chest was literally collapsing. How am I supposed to tell him that while he’s heading to the Ivy League, I am heading to the community college ten minutes away? He would just kill me, X.”

“He would just…” I trailed off, my throat tightened. “He’d try to fix it. He’d offer to pay, or his dad would,and then I’d just be a permanent project for the Graves to work on. I can’t be a charity case, X. I’d rather he think I am a failure than a beggar.

 Xalia opened her mouth, a strange, hesitant look crossing her face. She looked like she wanted to blurt out something out—something about the way Zion’s eyes always tracked me across a crowded room, or why the “big plan” was the only thing that seemed to keep him centered. She looked at me, then back on the road, her expression flickering with a mix of frustration and pity. “Khi, you really think he’s only doing this because he is a good friend? You don’t see that for him, Harvard isn’t about the school, it’s about—“

She cut herself. I was too exhausted to solve any more riddles. Instead, I reached over gripping her arm, my eyes pleading.

“Please, Xalia. Promise me you won’t say a word. Not about the kiss, and definitely not about Harvard. I can’t afford to lose him. Zion is the only piece of my life that doesn’t feel like it’s falling apart. If he walks away because he thinks I lied, or because he can’t look at his brother without seeing what happened…..I won’t have anything left. Please.”

Xalia sighed, a long heavy sound that told me she didn’t agree with me, but she finally nodded. “I promise, Khi. I won’t say a word. Just…keep your head up, okay?”

“Thank you, X. Seriously,” I whispered, finally leaning back and letting the car’s heater take the chill off my skin.

The remaining drive was in silent, music was too loud that I didn’t have to think. 30 minutes later, we pulled up to the lake house. You could hear the bass from 2 blocks away,  vibrating through the ground.

There were cars lined up everywhere—expensive SUVs and sleek sports cars that made Xalia’s car look like a toy.

The house was glowing, lights spilling out onto the lawn where people were already stumbling around the red cups and laughing too loud.

“Just breathe,” Xalia said, killing the engine. She looked at me. “One party won’t kill you. We are just here to forget for a night.”

I took a massive breath, smoothed down my black dress, and checked my hair in the mirror one last time. “Right. Forget.”

The second we stepped inside, the heat and the smell of expensive cologne sweat hit me like a wall. The music was too loud I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I tried to stay close to Xalia, keeping my head down so no one would notice the bruise hiding under my hair.

I was trying to find my way through the crowed hallway, just looking for a drink or a place to hide, when I walked straight into a solid, hard chest.  The impact sent me stumbling back, my heels nearly gave out.

A hand reached out, gripping my arm to steady me, a familiar, cold shiver ran down my spine. I looked up, my stomach literally dropped.

Of course. God really decided to punish me tonight.

It was Noah. He looked down at me, his icy eyes unreadable as he drawled, “Do you have the habit of always falling down?”