3: I Reject You

FEYRE

“God, Feyre, are you okay?” I nod, burying my head in Asher’s chest, trying so hard not to cry.

“Yes, I’m fine.” I whisper, holding him tighter. He feels like home, protective as always. Asher is the brother I never had and I make sure to always tell him.

“And Cami?” I tell him she is okay too, nodding toward the hospital van where she is resting. “We should get out of here, yes?” I nod eagerly.

Asher keeps me by his side while they shake hands with Beta Dylan, and thanks him for his help. “The alpha sends his apologies for the unfortunate event. The guilty party has been punished accordingly.” I feel something cold in my heart at the reminder of the way Alpha Zade killed the man.

“Still, thank you for your help.” Asher says and they shake hands again. Beta Dylan nods toward me. “It was great meeting you, beta.” He finishes with a slight tilt of his lips and I muster a smile in return.

“Thank you for all your help,” I climb into Asher’s car, while Cami is carried by one of the other pack members. The ride back to the pack is short and by the time we get back to the pack house, all I want to do is slip into bed. I wait until Cami is tucked into bed.

She woke up at some point and ate dinner before going back to sleep. She was fine but still weak from all the injuries she sustained.

“I’ll just get to bed now,” I pat Asher on the arm and start on the stairs, hearing his gentle footsteps behind me. My room is on the third floor, a floor below Asher’s, being the alpha. The fourth and last floor is reserved for the alpha family, his mate and nursery for when they have kids. The third floor, my floor, is for the beta, gamma, and other high ranking members who choose to stay in the pack house instead of apartments. Mostly single people.

“Fey,” I turn, with my hand on the door knob to my room when I hear Asher’s voice. I cock a brow, waiting for what he wants to say. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I sigh and nod.

“Feyre,” I shake my head, a smile tugging at my lips at his use of my full name. “You’ve been acting strange since you got back, are you sure you’re okay?”

I massage my temples and groan. “Can we talk about this in the morning? I really want to sleep.” It's just a little past nine in the evening, but I really don’t have the energy to talk.

“Sure, have a good night.” He winks playfully then jogs down the stairs. He is a night owl, like me and we mostly hang out after most people are in bed. Today, I don’t have it in me to do that.

I change into my nighties, a large t-shirt and short shorts, because my best friends are guys and they barge into the room most times without knocking. I get into bed and pull the covers over me. I’m met with cold, emotionless gray eyes, my eyes snap back open. I groan and throw my pillow over my head.

I already know I’m not getting any sleep tonight.

I woke up quite early the next morning. I was able to sleep even though it was almost four in the morning, but a win is a win. I kept thinking of Alpha Zade and his lack of acknowledgement, it is safe to say I was restless throughout the whole night.

I quickly brush my teeth and pull sweatpants up my legs then I walk out. Asher is already in the kitchen when I get down, a hot mug of coffee is already waiting for me on the counter.

“You’re a lifesaver, Ash.” I moan as I take the first sip of the hot goodness. We are mostly the first two to wake up, as the pack house mostly starts their day at seven.

“I’m going to miss making coffee for you when you move out,” I almost choke at that, and he laughs seeing my expression. “Stop looking so mortified, you know it’s going to happen sooner or later,” he says good naturedly. He says this a lot and usually, I just tease him back but this time, something weird settles in my stomach. “Or sooner,” he drawls, seeing the expression on my face.

I groan, throwing my head back. “Yesterday,” I grumble. It is enough for him to figure out what I mean.

“In the darkmoon pack?” I nod and he chuckles, clapping. “That’s amazing, Fey. I’m so happy for you.” He rounds the table and pulls me into a hug. I pat his back twice and he lets go.

“It’s not exactly something to be happy about.” I explain everything that happened to him and he looks confused by the time I’m done.

“Damn, he is an ass.” I nod in agreement and take my now warm coffee to my lips, draining the last of it. “But you need to figure out why he did that, he has to have a reason.”

“No way, if he wants to act like I don’t exist, then two can play that game.” The anger and slight embarrassment from last night creep back up.

“I think it is best if you at least ask him, you can’t judge a person by just one interaction,” I cock a brow and he sighs. “I know it’s not the best way to go about things, but you’ll regret this forever if you don’t try.” I groan at him always being right.

“Fine, I’ll consider it.” I mumble, he nods and smiles. “That’s all I want to hear.” He says and picks up his jacket from the high stool and heads to the backdoor. Before he walks out though, he turns to face me. “You can take the day off, think things through.” And with that, he leaves me alone in the kitchen, with nothing but my thoughts for company.

I sit in the kitchen for a long time, thinking of what Asher said. It’s not anything I didn’t know already but maybe it is the push I need.

What’s the worst that could happen?

I run up to my room and take a quick shower before throwing on a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt. I pull my hair into a high ponytail and wear good shoes today. The walk to the darkmoon pack is a lot easier than it was yesterday. It’s easier to cross the border this time and I don’t get stopped immediately. I take the route Dylan and I followed, ending up in the same spot Alpha Zade killed the rogue.

I look around the unknown place, a few people look at me, cautious curiosity in their eyes. I realize too late that I have no idea how to get to the pack house and the alpha’s office. I turn toward the hospital knowing someone can help direct me from there. I don’t get to three steps before I feel a tug at my arm.

I turn immediately, my heart in my throat and come face to face with Beta Dylan. I exhale a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Beta Dylan,” I greet, smiling a little too widely out of panic. My heart is still beating at a crazy unsteady pace.

“Hi Feyre, is it okay if I call you that?” I nod and he smiles. “Right, is everything okay?”

“Yes,” my voice sounds squeaky so I clear my throat and try again. “Yeah, I—erm, I’m hoping to meet with your alpha. Can you direct me to his office, please?”

“Everything okay? Does he know you’re coming?” he asks and I nod.

“Yes, he’ll know why I'm here.” he nods at me but I watch his eyes glaze over as he mindlinks. Probbay speaking to the alpha. I hold my breath in anticipation.

“Sure, this way.” he smiles and motions for me to follow him.

He stays quiet though I can tell he has a lot to say as we walk to the pack house.

He takes me inside and stops outside a dark hardwood door. “He is in there.” he nods and then walks away.

With my heart seconds away from jumping out of my throat, I raise my hands up and knock thrice. “Come in,” the familiar deep voice has the hairs at the back of my neck rising.

Before I can talk myself into turning back, I open the door and walk into the cool office.

Alpha Zade looks up immediately, his jaw tensing.

I walk further into the office, not pausing until I’m a foot away from his desk. I don’t waste time with pleasantries, going straight to the point. “Why didn’t you acknowledge that we’re mates last night?”

A low laugh rumbles deep in his chest. “And that is why you came all the way here?” he tilts his head to the side, a mirthless smile on his lips.

“Answer the question?” I say through gritted teeth.

“Let me ask you something else,” he leans back in his chair, looking eerily calm. “What did you think, that you coming here would make me change my mind and name you my luna?” he laughs, the sound mocking.

“Wake up from your delusional dream. You are not my mate.” his voice is cruel, there’s a snarl on his lips as he says the crude words. “You’re just like other girls, desperately throwing themselves at me and begging me to make them the luna. But I am not your mate and I will not acknowledge you.”

I glare at him, my irritation at his stupid words reaching new heights. I try hard, I try very hard to not feel insulted by the words he is uttering but I can’t help myself. My palms land on the table with a loud smacking sound, he doesn’t flinch, though his eyes harden more. Good.

“Not everyone is desperate for your attention, alpha.” I say the title with a mocking tilt, knowing it would set him off. It did. “Reject me if you don’t want me, I don’t care.”

The voice in my head is screaming at me to take it back, but I refuse. If he chooses to be an asshole then I can be equally rude.

I match his stare with mine, daring him to say the words. He is quiet for a long beat of silence, and I almost think he isn’t going to say it. I turn on my heels, ready to get out of here and go back to my pack and forget any of this even happened, but his voice stops me when I'm by the door.

“I, Alpha Zade of the Darkmoon pack, reject you as my mate.”