Chapter Eleven: Small Kindness

Emerald POV

Three days pass.

Three days of Rina shadowing my every step. Three days of the same four walls. Three days of staring out the window at mountains I cannot reach.

I am going insane.

Not the dramatic kind of insane. Not the screaming, crying, throwing things kind. The quiet kind. The kind where you sit in silence for so long that you forget what your own voice sounds like.

Rina does not talk much. She stands by the door like a statue. She watches me eat. She watches me sleep. She watches me stare at the ceiling for hours.

I should hate her.

But I do not.

She is just doing her job. And her job is keeping me alive.

Even if I am not sure I want to be alive anymore.

The knock comes at noon.

Not Rina's knock. She does not knock. She just walks in.

This knock is soft. Hesitant. Like the person on the other side is afraid of being yelled at.

"Come in," I say.

The door opens.

A maid stands there. Young. Younger than me. Her hands grip a silver tray so tight her knuckles are white.

"Miss," she says. "The Alpha sent this."

She hurries inside. Sets the tray on the small table by the window. Then she scurries back to the door like the room is on fire.

"Wait," I say.

She freezes.

"What is your name?"

"Lily, miss."

"Lily." I look at the tray. Covered with a white cloth. Steam rises from the edges. "What did he send?"

Her eyes dart to Rina. Rina nods.

"He sent... food, miss. Warm food. He said you have not been eating enough."

I stare at the tray.

He noticed I have not been eating.

Why does he notice things like that?

"And new clothes," Lily continues. "He said the ones you have are too thin for winter."

Winter is months away.

"And a blanket. For your bed. He said the nights are cold."

The nights are cold.

I walk to the tray. Lift the cloth.

Warm bread. Steaming soup. Roasted vegetables. A small pot of honey. Fresh fruit. And a cup of tea that smells like cinnamon and something else. Something sweet.

My stomach growls.

I have not been eating. The morning sickness is worse now. Every smell makes me nauseous. Every texture makes me gag.

But this food.

This food smells safe.

Lily is still by the door. Watching me.

"Thank you," I say.

Her eyes widen. Like she has never been thanked before.

"I will tell the Alpha you are pleased, miss."

"I did not say I was pleased."

"Then what should I tell him?"

I look at the food. Look at the clothes folded neatly on the chair. Look at the thick wool blanket draped over the foot of my bed.

"Tell him I noticed," I say.

Lily nods. She disappears.

The door clicks shut.

I eat.

Slowly at first. A sip of soup. A bite of bread. The flavors are gentle. Nothing sharp. Nothing heavy.

My stomach stays calm.

I eat more. The vegetables are soft. The honey is sweet. The tea warms my chest.

Rina watches me.

"You were hungry," she says.

"I was not hungry."

"Then why are you eating?"

"Because the food is here."

"You did not eat the food the kitchen sent yesterday."

"That food smelled like death."

"This food smells like cinnamon."

"Exactly."

She says nothing. But I think she almost smiles.

The clothes are soft.

I run my fingers over the fabric. Wool. Lined with something silky. Dark green. The color of pine trees. The color of my eyes.

There is a dress. Two shirts. Thick pants. Wool socks. A cloak lined with fur.

Real fur.

Not cheap. Not rushed. Made for me.

I hold the cloak against my cheek.

Why is he doing this?

He bought me like property. He locked me in this room. He assigned a guard to watch my every move.

And now he sends me warm food and soft clothes and a blanket for the cold nights.

I do not understand him.

I do not understand any of this.

The blanket is heavy.

I spread it across my bed. The wool is thick. The color is deep blue. Like the sky just before dawn.

I sit on the bed. Pull the blanket around my shoulders.

It smells like him.

Smoke. Leather. Something dark and warm.

I should hate it.

I should throw it on the floor.

But I am cold.

And the blanket is warm.

So I keep it around my shoulders.

And I hate myself for not hating it.

That afternoon, I walk to the window.

Rina follows. She always follows.

"The Alpha," I say. "Has he always been like this?"

"Like what?"

"Confusing."

Rina is quiet for a moment.

"He lost his father when he was young," she says. "He became the alpha before he was ready. The court tried to eat him alive. He learned to be hard because being soft got people killed."

"That does not answer my question."

"It is the only answer I have."

I press my forehead against the cold glass.

"He sent me a blanket," I say.

"I saw."

"He sent me new clothes."

"I saw."

"He sent me warm food because he noticed I was not eating."

"I saw."

"Why?"

Rina does not answer.

"Rina. Why is he doing this?"

She walks to the window. Stands beside me. Her reflection stares back at me. Dark eyes. Hard face.

"Because he cares about you," she says.

"That is impossible."

"Is it?"

"He does not know me."

"He knows you survived his bed. He knows you healed in one night. He knows your heartbeat sounds different. He knows you tried to escape. He knows you are brave and stubborn and too smart for your own good."

I stare at her reflection.

"That is not caring. That is observing."

"Sometimes they are the same thing."

I shake my head. Turn from the window.

"He is my enemy."

"He is your captor."

"Same thing."

"No." Rina follows me across the room. "An enemy wants to destroy you. A captor wants to control you. The Alpha does not want either."

"Then what does he want?"

She stops walking.

"I do not know," she says. "But I think he is trying to figure it out. Just like you."

That night, I wear the new dress.

It fits perfectly. Like someone measured me while I slept.

The fabric is soft against my skin. The color makes my eyes look greener.

I stare at my reflection in the small mirror above the washbasin.

I look different.

Not like a slave. Not like a prisoner.

Like someone worth keeping.

I hate it.

I hate that a dress can make me feel this way. I hate that warm food can make me grateful. I hate that a blanket can make me feel safe.

He is buying my loyalty.

That is what this is. Bribes. Tricks. Manipulation.

He wants me to stop trying to escape. He wants me to accept my cage. He wants me to forget that I am property.

I will not forget.

I cannot forget.

But the dress is soft.

And the blanket is warm.

And the food settled my stomach in a way nothing else has in days.

And I do not know what to do with any of that.

Lily comes back at dinner.

Another tray. More warm food. More fruit. More tea.

"The Alpha asked if you were warm enough," she says.

"Tell him I am fine."

"He also asked if the clothes fit."

"Tell him they fit."

"He also asked if you would like anything else."

I look at the tray. The food. The tea. The small vase of flowers I did not notice before.

Flowers.

He sent me flowers.

They are small. White. Delicate. They smell like honey.

"Tell him..." I stop. Swallow. "Tell him thank you."

Lily smiles. Not the servant's smile. The human one.

"I will, miss."

She leaves.

I stare at the flowers.

Thank you.

I did not mean to say that.

But I did.

And I cannot take it back.

Rina is watching me again.

"What?" I say.

"Nothing."

"You are looking at me like I grew a second head."

"I am looking at you like you are confused."

"I am not confused."

"You are confused. You are wearing his clothes. Eating his food. Sleeping under his blanket. And you just thanked him."

"So?"

"So you are confused."

I picked up the vase. Smell the flowers.

"They are just flowers, Rina."

"No." She shakes her head. "They are not just flowers. They are a message."

"What message?"

"That he is watching. That he sees you. That he wants you to know you are not alone."

"I am alone."

"You are not. That is what scares you."

I set down the vase.

She is right.

That is exactly what scares me.

I could not sleep that night.

I lie in bed, wrapped in the blue blanket, staring at the ceiling.

The flowers sit on the table by the window. White petals glowing in the moonlight.

Why is he doing this?

I ask myself the question over and over.

No answer comes.

But somewhere in the castle, in a room far from mine, I know he is awake too.

I can feel it.

Like a string pulling between us. Thin. Invisible. But there.

I press my hand against my stomach.

What am I going to do?

The baby kicks.

Soft. Small. Barely there.

But I feel it.

For the first time, I felt it.

And I smile.

I should not smile. I should not feel anything.

But I do.

And I cannot take it back.

Cassius POV

Lily stands in my study. Her hands are clasped behind her back. Her eyes are on the floor.

"She ate," Lily says.

"All of it?"

"Most of it. She saved some for later."

"The clothes?"

"She was wearing them when I came in."

"The blanket?"

"She sleeps under it."

I nod.

"And the flowers?"

Lily looks up. Hesitates.

"She smelled them, my Lord. She looked... confused."

"Confused how?"

"Like she did not know what to feel."

I lean back in my chair.

That is exactly how I feel.

Confused. Unsure. Lost.

"She said thank you," Lily adds.

My heart stops.

"She did?"

"Yes, my Lord. She said thank you."

I stare at the fireplace.

Thank you.

Two words.

But they feel like more.

"Leave," I say.

Lily bows and walks out.

I sit in the darkness.

The fire crackles. The shadows dance.

She said thank you.

It is not trust. It is not forgiveness. It is not love.

But it is something.

And something is more than nothing.

I close my eyes.

And for the first time in years, I pray.

Do not let me ruin this.