Ch 2- Cruel world

Isabella

I walked back to my chamber in a daze, walking past pack members but not paying attention to them or answering their greetings. I got to my room, entered and shut the door then leaned back against it before the muscles in my legs gave out and I sank to the floor. I couldn't help it. I was being forced to marry a total stranger, someone that I don't love. 

Not just that I will be forever tied to a man I didn't love and I would never be able to experience the pleasure and fulfillment of finding a mate. That's what every wolf craves for, as soon as they get of age. To find your Moon-goddess-given soulmate, that magical person who would sweep you off your feet and make you whole. All bliss and satisfaction would be tied to that person, that fated one.  And I won't get to feel the bond pull of a mate, I would be denied all that. Forever is a long time and I wondered if I would be able to pull through. 

“ Why me!” 

I couldn't help it and I allowed the tears to spill uncontrollably. I have had a difficult life growing up, and now I'm going to enter the most difficult phase of life. I wondered if my sisters had heard of it or did Dad hide it from them. A knock on the door took me out of my self-pity mood and I quickly dabbed my face with my dress. And hauled myself to my feet and opened the door and met Sarah the castle omega smiling at me. 

“ I was instructed to come and assist you, Lady Bella.” I sighed and nodded

“ Can I come in!” She asked still standing at the door 

“ Yeah! Sure,” I need you to help me pack.” I said to her 

“Oh okay! Sure. But what exactly are we packing?” She inquired

I sighed and took out two duffel bags and opened my drawers, and started bringing out my favorite clothes and throwing them on the bed.  I didn't have any fancy or sultry dresses and was the kinda girl that prefers comfort over fashion. You can say I'm old-fashioned but I know how to dress elegantly and not reveal skin. I pulled a couple of nice but plain dresses out of the closet and tossed them out for ceremonial occasions. For a moment I thought if there would be a real wedding for this charade of marriage or maybe they won't find me worthy of such an occasion.

I shook my head trying to wipe off that thought and also focus on packing my stuff and making sure not to forget anything essential to me. I looked around my room trying to check what other items I might be needing, I took out my mum’s old framed picture from my dresser and gently rolled my hands on her face then put it inside the bag I also took the picture of me and my sisters that was taken on my eighteenth birthday when we were holding each other around the waist and smiling cheerfully to the camera, I tucked it into the bag and added my toiletries. Then I allowed Sarah to finish folding the clothes into the bag and zipping them. I thanked Sarah for her help and quietly closed the door behind her. My bags were neatly arranged and placed close to the door. 

I have never felt as hopeless and unwanted as I do at the moment. But the truth is that this is my sad reality. My father considered me a burden. The Blood Moon pack had requested a bride as a bonus for the treaty agreement and I was chosen and thrown to the most callous Alpha, the most feared pack. 

What would be my faith there? Would the Alpha see me as his wife or as a present for the alliance? Would I be seen as his wife or an item to warm his cold bed? I shuddered at the thought of that 

A part of me wanted to call my sisters and cry to them, to tell them how frightened and nervous I was about the whole arrangement but I couldn't. How could they possibly understand my plight, when they resented me and were always quick to remind me of how my birth took away a mother's love from their lives?  Though sometimes they treat me well especially when Dad is not around.

Nobody wants to be in the black book of Dad. And I presume my faith didn't matter much to them with me being the sacrificial lamb of the pack. I wondered if they would ever miss me once I'm gone or if they would act like I never belonged here. I sighed knowing that once I leave they would go back to their normal happy lives.

For a moment I wondered if my absence from the pack would restore happiness in Dad’s life. Will he ever love and be proud of me after I seal this marriage alliance and save the pack from rogues’ attack? Will it make him stop crying over Mum’s death? Will it make him start celebrating the festival of the moon again? I was told that Mum died on the day of the festival of the moon, the day I came into this cruel world.

I have so many thoughts racing through my mind but I can't seem to have answers to any of them. And my heart was shattering at every tick of the clock. And the tears started flowing down my cheeks, I sneezed and picked up my fuzzy blanket, printed with bright sunflowers and yellow and pink butterflies, and curled up on the bed, and tried to shut my mind to all the hurt and worries that were eating me up. Thoughts of Mum clouded my thoughts and I cried harder, regretting why I was brought into this cold world. Till I fell into a weary sleep.