LOGINNaomi
Morning Sunlight fades slowly through the blinds, pale gold filtering across the wooden floor. Los Angeles feels calmer after the rain. Sophie’s giggles drift from the kitchen, mingling with the sound of a cartoon playing loudly on the TV.
I sit on my bed, still in my silk pyjamas, staring at the picture in my hand. The edges had faded with time, the ink receding faintly.
It’s a picture of Peter and me from years ago, at UCLA. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, both of us smiling at something out of frame. I look chubbier, my cheeks reddened, Joy untamed. I trace the outline of his jaw with my finger, my heart fluttering like the way it always does when I let myself look.
I keep telling myself I will trash it out, every time, but I can't.
Sophie’s little feet tapping down the hallway, and she shows up in the doorway, hair still a mess from sleep, with French toast in one hand.
“Mom?” Why have you been staring at that picture? She asks between bites, tilting her head with that guileless curiosity only children could have.
I quickly tuck the picture into the drawer, trying to smile. “It's just an old picture that holds memories”.
She observes me a moment longer, eyes sharp for her little age. “Is he my dad?”
The question falls softly, yet feels like a stone dropping into an ocean.
I force a laugh that sounds frail even to me.
“You’ve been watching too many movies, baby”.
She doesn’t look like she is convinced. “He looks like me”.
I froze…. It’s not the first time she’s mentioned it, but it’s the first time she says it so calmly, almost as if she knows some truth above her age.
“Go finish your breakfast”. I tell her gently, brushing her hair back.
She finally leaves, and I sit still for a long time, staring at the drawer where I hid the picture.
My hands tremble lightly.
Seven years. And still, one look, one name, one hospital visit was enough to unfold everything I thought I'd buried.
—-------
By noon, the small apartment smells like lavender tea and lemon detergent. Grandma Chen is sitting on the couch, knitting a sweater, her gray hair pulled into a neat bun.
Though she is not my biological grandmother, she is the closest thing I've had to one in years.
I met her through Ethan Chen, my Ex-husband. Our wedding barely made it to six months, our divorce papers were signed faster than our wedding pictures were delivered. We got married on impulse, two lonely people trying to fix the holes in themselves. But Grandma Chen never blamed me.
“You work too hard”, she says now, without looking up from her knitting sticks.
“Designers need rest to see beauty properly”.
I smile faintly. “Tell that to my boss”.
She lets out a small laugh, eyes soft. “How is work?”
I hesitate. “My new collection draft got rejected again”. They said it felt too ‘disconnected’, like it had no emotion”.
The irony makes me want to laugh. Emotion is all I have. It’s the only thing I tried to hide for years.
Grandma Chen looks up at me, as if reading my thoughts. “Maybe they are right. Art always knows when the heart is holding something.”
I pour her more tea. “Maybe,” I muttered.
She sighs. “You’ve been awfully quiet lately.
Something happened?”
I quickly shake my head, “Uh no, it’s just work pressure.”
Her gaze lingers on me for a few seconds before she lets go. “You should come to the community dinner this weekend. It will be fun, there will be music, it will be good for you to unwind, and Sophie needs to be around other people.”
I smile, relieved for the change of subject.
“Maybe we will”.
At work, the day drags endlessly. My workspace at the small design studio faces a window overlooking the busy street, where jacaranda petals scatter along the pavement.
I try to concentrate on my sketches, but the lines are blurry.
Peter’s voice is still stuck in my head. I keep replaying it in my head.
Have we met before?
I press the pencil harder until the lead breaks.
“Rough morning?” a voice teases behind me. It’s Claire, my colleague and the closest friend I have here. Her red lipstick is perfect, her curls bouncing like confidence itself.
“I’ve had better”, I admit.
She leans on my desk, a smirk on her face. “You, my dear, need a night out. Oh, speaking of—guess what? The Alumni Association is hosting a reunion this Friday at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Everyone’s pumped about it”.
I look up, shocked. “UCLA’s alumni?”
“Yep. Your year, Architecture, design, and medicine combined. It’s almost like a nostalgia circus”.
I hold the pen tightly, “I’m not going”.
Claire pouts. “Okay…. Why not? You never go anywhere. Don’t you want to see who’s gotten rich? And who has gotten fat?”
“ I do not care for all that”, I replied quietly.
She rolls her eyes at me. “Naomi, come on. You might even meet someone rich and hot, maybe an Architect or even a lawyer. Anyone but this sketchbook of yours”.
I force a small laugh. “No, thank you, I'll pass”.
She looks at me, then sighs. “Fine. But if you change your mind, I’ll be here, you have my plus-one”.
After she leaves, I turn back to the window.
Outside the city gleams restless, glowing, indifferent.
A Reunion.
I imagine walking into the hotel ballroom, the sound of laughter and polite envy, the old familiar faces that once gossiped about me behind library shelves. I imagine Peter there, in his flawless suit, encircled by adoring gazes, maybe a woman by his side.
The image cuts deep enough to make my stomach ache.
No, I can't. Some doors, once reopened, can’t be shut again.
That night, Sophie snuggled in bed with me, her little hands squeezing the edge of my shirt. I lay down eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling, the slight hum of the city outside our window.
I think of the photo in the drawer, of Grandma Chen’s sweet, calm voice, of Claire’s invitation I still haven’t deleted.
The past presses closer in the dark.
I reach for my phone and scroll absentmindedly through old alumni group messages. The names blur by, but one stops me–Dr Peter Hayes Added to the group.
My heart drops.
He’s already back in Los Angeles for good, then.
I quickly grab my phone beside me and send a message to Claire, fingers hovering above the screen. Maybe I'll come for a bit.
Then I delete it before sending.
I turn off the phone, close my eyes, and pretend that silence can keep the past from finding me.
But even in dreams, Peter’s voice lingers. Calm, low, apologetic.
And I wake with the strange certainty that our paths are not done crossing.
By Thursday, I had convinced myself that I had made peace with not going.
Then, on my lunch break, Grandma Chen calls.
Her voice is energetic,sneaky. “Naomi, dear, I heard about your school reunion! You have to go. You’ve worked hard. Let people see the woman you have become”.
I laugh faintly. “You have been talking to Claire, haven’t you?”
She chuckles. “Good friends conspire for good reasons. Go. Wear that blue dress I like”.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea”.
“Why not? Are you scared of ghosts?”
Her words hit deeper than she intended. I stare at the sketchpad in front of me, at the half-finished design of a pale blue silk gown, the same shade as the one she means.
“Maybe,” I whisper.
She sighs softly. “Child, ghosts only follow those who keep looking back”.
The line crackles, and for a moment, all I hear is my own heartbeat.
When the call ends, I sit there for a long time, pencil moving.
Outside, the Jacaranda petals drift down the street like violet snow.
I think of Peter’s gray eyes when he looked at me in the office, unaware, curious, almost tender. I think of the photo in the drawer, the one I still can’t throw away.
I close my sketchbook, grab my bag, and leave early.
At home, Sophie meets me at the door, holding a wobbly drawing. “Mom, look! It’s you and me!”
I smile, taking it from her. She drew two stick figures, one tall, one small, and a third weird, faintly sketched figure standing nearby with gray crayon eyes.
“Who is this other person?” I ask softly.
She hesitates before answering. “I don’t know. He just showed up”.
I laugh, but my throat tightens.
That night, as she falls asleep, I sit at my desk and open the drawer again. The picture stares back at me, patient and mean.
I sighed heavily, slid it into my wallet, and whispered to the empty, “just one night”.
Outside, the city hums quietly, waiting.
And somewhere across Los Angeles, Peter Hayes looks at his phone, reading the Alumni Association’s message: see you all Friday at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
He smiles faintly, not knowing why.
But I do.
NaomiMorning arrives too quickly.I wake before my alarm, the pale gray light just beginning to filter through the curtains. For a few seconds, I lie still, listening to the quiet hum of the apartment—the refrigerator, the distant traffic, the soft rhythm of Sophie’s breathing from her room.I sit up slowly, grounding myself in the familiar routine. Shower. Coffee. Review slides one last time. I move through it all with practiced efficiency, the way I always do when something matters too much to risk emotion.Sophie appears in the doorway while I’m tying my hair back.“You’re up early,” she says, rubbing one eye.“So are you.”She shrugs. “I have spelling today.”“Important day for both of us,” She watches me for a moment. “You’re wearing your serious jacket.”I glance down at the navy blazer laid out on the chair. “Is that what it’s called?”She nods. “You wear it when you have things to explain.”I smile despite myself. “Then it’s definitely the right jacket.”After breakfast, I
NaomiThe park is louder than I expected.Children run between the slides and swings, their laughter cutting through the afternoon air. Sophie races ahead of me, backpack bouncing against her shoulders, hair pulled into a crooked ponytail she insisted on tying herself.“Mom, watch this!” she calls, climbing the ladder to the slide with determined concentration.“I’m watching,” I answer, settling onto a nearby bench.She pushes off and slides down fast, landing on her feet with a proud grin.“I didn’t even fall.” “You’re very impressive,” she beams, she beams and races toward the monkey bars. I let my shoulders relax slightly as I watch her integrate easily, talking, laughing, already confident in ways I never was at her age.Second grade has been good for her, structure, and friends. A routine that feels stable.I close my eyes for a moment, letting the sounds of the park ground me.But my mind refuses to stay still.Tomorrow.The presentation.Cedars-St. Adrian.The possibility that
NaomiSunday mornings are supposed to be gentle.Coffee.Cartoons.Sophie curled beside me with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders while I pretend to rest before starting the weekend chores.But today, everything feels tight around the edges, like the air is thinnier. I stand by the kitchen counter, watching the coffee fill the pot drip by slow drip.Sophie clatters around in the living room, humming one of the songs from her class. Her little voice floats through the apartment, warm and distracting in the best way.But my mind refuses to settle. No matter how many times I try to move past yesterday, the memory keeps returning: Peter stepping out of the elevator.His eyes widened slightly.That stillness in his expression, like recognition, was trying to surface.I press my palms into the counter. There’s no way he knows.He can’t. And yet…The fear sits so vividly beneath my ribs it feels like a bruise. “Mom,” Sophie calls, “can we go to the park today?”I blink back into the
NaomiBy the time I reach the lobby, my pulse still hasn’t settled. I push through the revolving doors and step into the warm LA afternoon. The parking lot stretches out across the front courtyard, dotted with cars and faint sounds of traffic.A gust lifts my hair. I tighten my grip on my portfolio tube. I should get in my car and leave. I should forget the way his eyes searched my face, like I’d left some unfinished sentence floating between us.But my hands shake as I unlock the car. Not because of fear.Because of everything I can’t let myself feel.I settle into the driver’s seat, breathing until my heartbeat stops echoing against my ribs. I place the tube beside me carefully, snapping the seat belt across my chest.Even as I turn toward Beverly, one thought loops in my mind:He didn’t look away.He looked at me like he knew something he wasn’t ready to admit.And I looked back like I wasn't ready to let anything slip.PeterI stand in the hallway longer than I should, staring at
NaomiBy Friday morning, LA sunlight paints everything in sharp gold, but it does nothing to quiet the knot in my chest.I’m standing outside Cedars-St. Adrian Medical Center, portfolio tube slung over my shoulder, coffee cooling too fast in my hand. Cars stream through Beverly Boulevard.A delivery truck blocks half the view. Nurses in navy scrubs rush past me, chatting, laughing, living in a world that feels too close to one I’ve spent years running from.Lola’s Voice echoes in my head from last night:“The hospital needs design sketches, Naomi. A site walk-through on Friday. You’ve got this, right?”Right. Because I always “have this.”Because I always do whatever it takes to keep our lives steady.Sophie is at school.I’m here.Everything is fine.Except it doesn’t feel fine.It feels like walking straight into a memory I never wanted to revisit.I take a slow breath and push the glass door.Inside, the hospital smells faintly sterile, like lemon floor cleaner, cold air-condition
NaomiBy morning, the air feels dry and sharp, as if Los Angeles has woken up on edge just like I have.I do everything on autopilot:Dress Sophie.Pack her lunch.Tie her shoes.Drop her off.Then I drive to the office with my heart packed tightly behind my ribs.The elevator climbs to the fifth floor, and I feel my pulse rise with each ding. I’ve been here every weekday for years, but today the building feels different. Like every corner remembers yesterday.I walk into the design studio, head down, hoping no one says anything about my abrupt exit. Thankfully, they’re all absorbed in their screens, sipping coffee, arguing about color palettes.Normal.Thank God.I slip into my workstation, open my laptop, and force myself into Wednesday’s designs.My hands move steadily, but my mind keeps drifting.He asked if we’d met.He said my name like it meant something.I shut the thought down.I need distance. Space. Silence.Of all days, Lola chooses today to appear over my shoulder.“







