Chapter 10

Katherine never was one to swoon after men. She often

ignored thier looks and stares, passed off thier offers of

dinner but watching james standing in her living room in

his black Armani suit which was tailored to fit his body

perfectly, his black tie and black shoes, she couldnt help

but think how good he looked.

He stood looking around her living room feeling her eyes

follow his every movement. He rung his hands nerves

getting to him. The whole drive to her house he tried to

prepare himself for this moment but when he saw her

standing with her hair in a ponytail and wearing his shirt

that reached her tanned thighs his thoughts went out the

window.

It was half eight and here he stood unsure of what to say,

what to do. His heart was palpitatating his palms sweaty

as he rubed them on his suit. He came after work. Straight

to her place. They had alot of unfinished buisness to

attend to.

"James what are you doing here?" He expected this

attitude from her katherine never had patience for time

wasters. Like him.

"Im here because i want to tell you something" he

stumbled across his words but was happy he was starting

the dialogue.

"Well, go on" she snapped and he took a deep breath.

Katherine stood with her arms crossed waiting for him to

continue

He felt butterflies in his stomach. "Katherine i love you

but i realise now that in our marriage a key thing was

missing, communication. And i want to make us work so

i think its best if im honest with you." he smiles a little.

There the hardest part is done getting her to stay in the

same room for 20 minutes.

She sat on the blush pink sofa Scattered with grey

cushions. So he took another deep breath and took it as a

sign to continue.

"It all started with a letter sitting on my desk in a white

envelope when i went to work on a monday morning. The

letter was adressed to me, i opened it and found a typed

letter and pictures of you with another man.

I didn't want to believe it but the pictures seemed like proof i wanted to hurt you. Make you feel how i felt when i found out my wife had cheated on me. It felt as though my heart

had been ripped from my body and torn into shreds

whilst i watched helpless. Then i did. 

Your face looked pained when you caught us i got what i wanted." He felt awkward oppening up. Sure he had mouthed at her but speaking calmly and treating her like person was new to him.

"When you left that night i went to the liquor cabinet

and drowned my sorrows. I thought one night and I'd be

over it but the drinking became a regular thing especially

when shelly came over and told me what she had done

just so she could be with me. 

I was angry and felt guilty every dayi ordered the maid to fill

the liquor cabinet up and by the night time it was always empty. It was a couple of months ago i sought help from a psychiatrist her name was elena Marshall well recommended too.

I went to her and was doing well stopped drinking and

took the company to the next level. Then you came back

and i was so cruel i couldnt understand why though you

where inoccent. Buti lashed out anger clouded over my

judgement. Anger that you had been fucked over. 

Then i went to see elena for our weekly sessioni told her about my behaviour and how harsh i was she pinpointed the

problem straight away. Im in love and i fear rejection

because of guilt. The anger was upon seeing you again

and memories which flooded my thoughts. I couldnt stop

thinking about you but everytime i see you i was livid and

the words flowed out and i couldnt stop myself. 

Now i see whats been missing what went wrong. I was tge problem. I wasnt a good listener i had no faith in you a di didnt trust you with other men. I was tricked but i had a choice whether to belive it or not and my own insecurities led me alonga narrow path.

He felt the weight of years of guilt gradually lift from her

shoulders this was it the confession that should have

come out ages ago and all she was doing was standing

watching him carefully arms crossed protectivley over

herself. Doubt about whether he was doing the right thing

flooded his mind but iy was too late to stop now.

"If i where you i know i wouldnt be able to accept you

into my pife agaon knowing you where betrayed but im

ready now to be the man you need. The man you have

always needed. That tool you where with at the gala cant

carry his own struggles let alone half of yours. I miss

you. Heck i missed you the moment i saw you walk away

from me. Your stuff is still in our closet at home exactly

where you left it. Your perfume still sits in the vanity.

Your shampoo is still in the shower and i still keep your

baby pink towels in the bathroom because all the things

i have are there because i am clinging on to the hope you

will have me back" he was begging her pleading with

her eyes. 

Tears of his own slid down his cheeks and right

there Katherine could see the regret the lonliness, the

battle he is fighting inside and the vunerability that no

one ever gets to see. The infamous james saunders had

let his walls down for her and she could see right through

him. His true feelings the ones normally kept under lock

and key.

Katherine didnt know what to say he was being honest

and appologised for what happened so long ago, he

explained why he was so mean and hurtful towards her

when they met again. She was shocked and felt tears

begin to fill her eyes although unsure why. 

But if she was shocked before she was certainly shocked when she looked up at james to find him wide eyed and looking at the foot of the stairs

"Mommy who is he?"