Mag-log inLUCIENI did not hear the beginning of their conversation, and perhaps that was fortunate, because I was already standing outside the sitting room with enough ugly thoughts in my head to make the rest of the evening unbearable.The doors had been left slightly open. I was stationed near the gallery entrance, close enough to observe the prince without interrupting his private meeting, and far enough away that nobody could accuse me of listening to a conversation that was not meant for me. Unfortunately, the last part carried into the corridor quite clearly."Is it the man who never lets you out of his sight?"Celia's voice.I looked through the narrow opening and saw Adrian sitting beside the window, his teacup resting untouched on the table. He had turned toward her, and although I could not see his entire expression, I recognized the slight tension in his shoulders.My first instinct was to enter the room and remind the woman that she was speaking about the Crown Prince's personal af
ADRIANI let Celia take my arm because I was getting rather tired of standing around waiting for a man who could hold me like he was terrified of losing me, then walk away as though touching me had been some terrible mistake.There was something deeply humiliating about it, actually. I could survive my father's lectures, the council's endless opinions, and the palace servants whispering about which woman would eventually share my bed, but I was beginning to lose my patience with myself. Every time Lucien came close, I forgot every sensible decision I had made about protecting my own heart, and every time he stepped away, I found myself looking like an idiot who had just been promised something and then abandoned in the middle of it.So when Celia offered to walk with me, I accepted.She led me through the gallery, where several courtiers were still gathered around the windows, pretending to admire the gardens while keeping their attention firmly on whoever happened to be walking past.
LUCIENI had been standing close enough to Adrian to feel his breath against my mouth when the knock came, and I hated the man on the other side of that door with an intensity that was probably unreasonable considering he had done nothing more offensive than interrupt a moment I had spent weeks convincing myself I did not want.Adrian was still sitting on the bed, looking at me with that infuriating mixture of hope and irritation he wore whenever I came close to giving him something real and then found an excuse to take it away. His lips were slightly parted, his shirt had slipped off one shoulder, and the hand he had curled into my waist had not quite relaxed, as though his body had not received the message that I was already retreating into the safety of my uniform and my duties.I straightened my jacket and turned toward the door before I did something reckless, like cross the room again and kiss him hard enough to make the king, the council, and every bloody marriage prospect in t
ADRIANI could feel Lucien trembling against me, and the discovery made something inside my chest ache so badly that I forgot every clever thing I had ever planned to say to him.This was Lucien, the man who could walk into a room full of armed soldiers and make half of them reconsider their career choices simply by looking in their direction, the man who had once carried me down three flights of stairs with blood running down his sleeve and still found time to threaten the physician for taking too long to treat my injuries. He was supposed to be the steady one, the person who knew what to do when everybody else was falling apart, and yet his hands were shaking against my back as though holding me had brought him dangerously close to something he could no longer control.I did not ask him to explain himself, because I had spent enough time watching him struggle with words he did not know how to say, and I was not about to make him regret coming to me by turning his fear into another c
ADRIAN“I knew you would come back.”I said it quietly because I did not want to frighten him away with one of my usual ridiculous performances, although the smile tugging at my mouth was doing its best to ruin the serious moment. Lucien stood outside my bedroom with his hand still raised toward the door, looking like a man who had spent the entire walk here arguing with himself and had lost the argument somewhere near my threshold.I stepped aside to let him enter, but I did not reach for him or pretend that his midnight visit was an ordinary part of our schedule, because I was tired of making things easy for him whenever he finally did something I had been begging him to do for months.“You can come inside, Lucien, but I would appreciate it if you did not invent a security emergency to explain why you have decided to visit me at an hour when sensible people are sleeping, because I have already checked the windows and locked the doors, and unless you have discovered a secret tunnel b
LUCIEN“Adrian, you have always been allowed to touch me, and I have never needed you to ask permission before reaching for my hand or leaning against me when you wanted my company.”The words came out too easily, which was the problem, because I heard the evasion in them before Adrian even had a chance to respond. I had answered his question without answering it at all, giving him another familiar piece of our history instead of telling him whether I wanted him to touch me now, tonight, when we were standing alone in his bedroom and I could still feel the warmth of his fingers against my wrist from the previous evening.Adrian looked at me for several seconds, his jacket hanging over the back of a chair, his green shirt slightly creased from the long day, and the expression on his face made me wish he would shout at me instead of looking so tired.“That is a very convenient answer, Lucien, because you are telling me what I have been allowed to do for years without telling me what you



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