Chapter 2

The snow fell harder and harder.

I slowly crouched down and curled up inside the shallow pit, just as Lily had.

The cold snow immediately soaked through my clothes.

So this was how cold it was. I deserved to die. How could I have forgotten something like this?

But I was only sick.

The doctor had said I had a rare, progressive memory disorder. It was as if something were slowly eating away at my hippocampus.

I couldn't retain new memories, and my old memories were gradually disappearing, too.

Mom called it an eraser.

But I didn't understand why there was an eraser inside my brain. All I knew was that I could remember something in the morning, only for it to become a blur by noon.

Mom said I was stupid.

Maybe I was.

The sky grew darker. One by one, the lights in the distant town came on, accompanied by the occasional pop of fireworks.

I should go home.

I moved my stiff legs.

The moment I stood up, that familiar feeling came over me again. I blinked and looked around.

The trees were white, and so was the road.

I turned around, then turned back again.

What was I supposed to do just now?

Go home.

Right. Go home.

But where... was my home?

My heart suddenly began pounding. I pressed a hand against my chest and gasped for breath.

Think.

Today was New Year's Eve. Lily wanted to play hide-and-seek, and then Mom hit me...

What happened after that?

I couldn't remember.

Forget it. I'd wait a little longer. They would notice I hadn't come home and come looking for me.

Just like they'd looked for Lily.

I sat curled up in the pit with my arms around my knees, counting the fireworks going off in the distance.

One, two... By the time I reached seventeen, I'd forgotten what number I'd started from.

I stayed there until the bells rang to mark the New Year.

Fireworks exploded in the sky, lighting up the entire night. They were so beautiful.

Every New Year, Dad used to set off fireworks for me, then tell me to make a wish.

But what had I wished for? I'd forgotten that, too.

I curled up even tighter.

I should have been freezing, but instead, I felt hotter and hotter.

I took off my coat, then my sweater, but I was still so hot. By the time I had stripped down to my undershirt, I felt as though I were floating.

When I blinked again, I was home.

The New Year's Eve variety show was still playing on TV. Mom sat on the couch with Lily in her arms, feeding her chicken soup by the spoonful.

"That's my good girl, Lily. Just one more sip. It'll help warm you up."

Lily's cheeks had regained their color. She was wrapped in a thick blanket, with only her eyes peeking out.

"Where's Sadie?" she suddenly asked.

Mom's hand paused. "Don't mention her."

"But Sadie still hasn't come home..."

"She deserves it! Let her experience what it's like to freeze in the snow! She's old enough to know better. She can't even look after her own little sister."

I tried to walk over and apologize, but I passed straight through the coffee table. I froze.

"Sadie still hasn't come home." Dad stood by the window, staring outside. "The snow just keeps getting heavier..."

"Now you're worried?" Mom asked without even looking up. "What if something had really happened to Lily today? What then? Tell me, what would we have done?"

Dad fell silent.

"She did it on purpose! She's jealous of Lily, so she pretends she can't remember anything! That disease... Who knows if it's even real? Even the doctor said he'd never seen a case this strange..."

"The doctor said it's an organic brain disorder," Dad replied quietly.

"Can an organic brain disorder make her forget only Lily but remember everything else? She can remember how to watch TV but not that she's supposed to look for her sister?" Mom's voice rose sharply.

"She resents us for having a second child! She hates that we have to share our love with Lily!"

Lily flinched and shrank further into Mom's arms.

Mom immediately softened her voice and gently patted her back. "Don't be scared, sweetheart. I'm not talking about you... My precious Lily..."

Dad stood by the window for a long time before finally turning away. "When she comes home, I need to talk to her."

"Talk about what? How to kill her own sister?" Mom sneered. "If you ask me, we should just send her to a hospital! It's not as if she remembers anything anyway. What difference does it make where she lives?"

Dad didn't respond.

I stood off to the side and opened my mouth.

"I..."

No sound came out.

I reached for Mom's shoulder, but my hand passed right through her body.

So I'd already died.

Maybe that was for the best. At least now I wouldn't forget anymore.