CHAPTER TWELVE

GOODBYE

She didn't want, as her brother had told her the night before, to have self"pity, but it was hard not to be in her commiseration. Could it be that only she had felt all that? Had it been a fantasy in her head and only she had felt it? Had Julius felt nothing for her? Were her parents right about him, was he an asshole who only wanted to use her?

At the same time she thought : " But if he only wanted to use me, he had the chance to fuck me on top of the Hill, why didn't he?"

She didn't really understand about gangs, was he a leader who respected virgins, did he have a code against fucking virgins?

She didn't know what to think and just confabulated and speculated.

She should have asked Milla to tell him that at this school, she would be a boarder, not like at the other school, where she went every day. Since it was a more distant school, her parents had opted for her to stay at the school and go home on weekends. It had not yet been decided whether she would even stay the whole