TaylorKennedy leaps from her seat, darts towards me, and hugs me tightly. Her tear-stained cheeks wet my cheek and t-shirt. Jackson drops to his knees on my other side to join the celebration. We hug, then laugh as we all wipe our tears without speaking a word.I break the silence when I can take it no more. โWe need to eat before our food gets cold,โ I announce.As he returns to his chair, Jackson mumbles, โToo much oohy-gooey for Taylor.โHe knows me too well. Itโs as if he sees into my inner-most thoughts. I rarely cry. I feel deeply, never wearing my emotions on my sleeves. Displays of affection are not my thing.Kennedy fans her face, trying to calm her tears. Jackson and I tip our wine glasses towards each other's before taking a sip. For a few minutes, we enjoy our luke-warm Mexican rice and scrumptious chicken enchiladas.I see the wheels turning as Jackson attempts to eat. Unable to take it any longer, I prompt Jackson, โJust say it.โโDoes this mean you plan to teach and mov
TaylorKennedy opens her notebook, flips a few pages, then begins. She states, โThese are the notes I made for our phone call we planned for tonight. Since youโre here and will live with us, some items may need tweaking. My appointment with Dr. Matthews is on Tuesday. At that time, weโll need to discuss our timeline and Taylorโs appointment with Dr. Matthews. All of this will depend on the method the doctor decides works best to harvest her eggs,โ Kennedy informs. Jackson, sensing my question, says, โDr. Matthews is the fertility specialist they referred us to. I already endured my visit to prove my boys are strong swimmers.โ To this I laugh, nearly spewing wine everywhere. Mental note: refrain from sipping wine during our future delicate conversations. Jacksonโs cheeks redden with embarrassment. I assume we will have many embarrassing conversations in the months to come.โOur planning and decisions will begin on Tuesday night,โ Kennedy continues. She shares the items we will discuss
TaylorI wake to the bright light because of the blinds I forgot to close and the smell of breakfast drifting from the kitchen. Iโm not a morning person, but the smells are enticing me from my cozy bed. I quickly pee, wash my face and hands, run a brush through my hair, then pad slowly to a kitchen island barstool.Kennedy stands dressed for the day at the stove. I smell bacon and see her flip an omelet as I nibble on the fresh fruit in the center of the island.โGood Morning,โ I mumble in greeting to Kennedyโs back.โGood Morning,โ she returns, turning with a smile. She fetches a bowl of yogurt to join the fruit. โBacon will be ready in a minute. You can make some toast with peanut butter.โ Kennedy points towards a loaf of bread and peanut butter next to the toaster. She remembers I do not eat eggs.We eat in silence. I make quick work of my peanut butter toast and five strips of bacon. I place some yogurt in a small bowl, then sprinkle with banana slices and grapes. Kennedy nibbles o
TaylorI begin telling Kennedy my story from the moment I exited the airplane from my visit here last week.As I walk through the terminal, my thoughts jump from work, to household chores, to phone calls I need to make. I wish I were still in Kansas City, not returning to face my new single status in life. With the ringing of my cell phone, I drop my carry-on to rummage through my handbag. I just turned my iPhone on. Why is it at the bottom of my purse? Wallet. Gum. Brush. Compact. Finally, I grab my phone. The screen reveals Grace, Johnโs mother, on the ID. I should have known. I went through all the trouble to find my phone in a busy airport and itโs someone I donโt care to speak to.I gather up my suitcase and head toward the exit. While walking, loud laughter catches my attention. A group of four frat boys stand in the airport bar and enjoy the flirting of the blonde female bartender.Bartender! I told Jorge I would stop by his bar on my way home. Since I met his sister while in KC
Taylor Still Retelling StoryThe waitress returns with our beers, we place our meal orders and request two more beers. Quickly we return our attention to each other. He asks about my trip. I tell him more about Jackson and Kennedy. I talk about the long talks, the neighborhood party, and meeting his sister. As the waitress delivers the bill and clears the table, I realize I talked about me the entire meal. Iโm caught off guard by the sadness quickly washing over me. Itโs time for me to return home. Alone.โI donโt want to be alone.โ The words jump out of my mouth before I restrain them. My hands leap to cover my mouth. This isnโt me; Iโm not this woman. I canโt even blame it on too many drinks. I donโt do one-night stands with strangers.Placing his hand around my wrist, Jorge pulls my right hand from my face. โMy place is nearby.โ There is no smile on his face, as I allow my eyes to meet his. His look is serious. I try to decipher his intentions.As much as I want to keep the evening
Taylor Continues Retelling Her StoryI search Jorgeโs face for clues as John continues his profane-laced tirade in the hallway. Official assistance? Domestic dispute? I inhale a deep calming breath, but before I can ask Jorge about the call, we hear a neighbor announce to John he has phoned the police. John spews profanities and threats before we hear the neighbor slam his door closed.Staring into his chocolate eyes, I will Jorge to speak. My erratic breathing seems too loud, and words fail me. I canโt explain Johnโs actions. I tuck my trembling hands into my shorts pockets. I need to know who was on his phone. I search their brown depths for a clue.โPlease.โ I beg, my voice faint and quivering.Jorge closes the bathroom door before locking it. He pulls me snug to his chest.โMy roommate Jake is on the Chicago PD. He is on duty and headed here now.โ I suck in a sharp breath. โThe man outside your door is not about to calm down and leave until you let him in.โ Jorge raises my chin to
Taylor Continues Retelling Her StoryI wave them off as I head to the kitchen for another water. Jorge approaches as I finish a long refreshing drink from the bottle.โCan they search your apartment?โ Acknowledging the question forming upon my lips, he continues, โThey want to search for drugs that John may have hidden here. They believe he may have a stash and that is why he is so frantic about entering the apartment.โ Placing a finger upon my lips to silence me, he finishes, โThey will not hold you responsible if they find drugs. They only want to remove them to keep you safe.โI canโt speak. The mere mention that drugs might hide in my presence upsets me. I witness the destruction they reek on the students and their families every day at school. Congenital disabilities, learning disabilities, homelessness, foster care, and addiction to drugs affect many of my middle school students. The thought of such a vile substance in my apartment cripples me. I simply nod in agreement to the se
TaylorI meet Jorgeโs eyes. In them I see his worry John physically abused me. โNo, I feared he might, but he never crossed that line.โ I reach for his hand, grasping it between my two, and I continue, โI returned from a trip to Washington D.C. with my students. I found women in bed with him. The apartment was a disaster. Drugs, used condoms, and trash were everywhere. Thatโs when I threw him out and changed the locks.โ Jorge squeezes my hands. โWe were over the minute I moved us to Chicago. He found work in a bar. He partied too much. He stayed out, sometimes overnight. We were two roommates, nothing more. It wasnโt a healthy relationship. I did what I had to, to protect myself. I should have found the strength to end it years ago. I just couldnโt bear the thought of being alone.โโBut you were alone,โ Jorge points out. โYou cut ties with friends; you never went out, you worked, and cowered at home alone.โOuch! The truth hurts.โI thought he was finally out of my life.โ I whisper.โ
TaylorMy mind scrambles for words.Ready?Ready for what?Our first kiss was everything I fantasized about this past year and then some.Is he ready to sleep together?Iโm not sure I am ready for that tonight.Our kiss proves our electric passion for each other. I stand in front of him, as heโs seated on his bed; I move between his knees.โIโm ready to explore us too, but I want to go slow.โ I swallow, my mouth suddenly very dry. โI need to go slow. We have too much on the line to jump into this.โJackson nods his understanding.To show my desire for him, I place feather-light kisses on his jaw. He places his hands on each side of my face, guiding my lips to his. This kiss is hotter than the first. Our hands explore arms, shoulders, ribs, hips, and chests.I lift my legs to straddle his lap, aligning my pelvis with his. The heat from his cock exquisitely flows to my core. His hands on my hips grind me into him, and I moan. I continue the pressure as he moves his mouth to my jaw, then
Two Years LaterTaylorโWhat time is it?โ I ask the room.โTwenty minutes after the last time you asked,โ Martha teases.โWe have five minutes,โ Elizabeth announces to everyone. โTaylor, might I have a moment?โ She inquires, escorting me onto the balcony for a modicum of privacy. I thought my nerves had reached a pinnacle; a private chat with Elizabeth escalates them even higher. Gerald and Elizabeth arrived with us three days ago to assist with the preparations and the twins. We shopped, dined, and even swam.What will she discuss now, with less than five minutes until we start?Why didnโt she talk to me before now?โYou look beautiful, dear,โ Elizabeth says. โFor many years now, Gerald and I have thought of you as our daughter. Today, you make that official.โ She dabs a tissue to the corner of each eye, not wanting her tears to ruin her makeup. โYou brought our son back into our lives, you gave us two precious grandchildren, and today you give us the happiness and future we always d
Taylor โTaylor!โ Jackson summons loudly from upstairs the next evening.I recap my water bottle before attempting the epic struggle that is rising from the sofa post-cesarean. I peek at the sleeping twins before I slowly and painfully ascend the fourteen stairs from the living room to the second floor. Jackson wouldnโt require me to trudge upstairs if it wasnโt important. I pass the bathroom doorway as it is dark inside. The master bedroom door is open, but no lights are on. I notice light entering the hallway from the nursery. I place my hand on the door frame for support.Jackson sits on his knees at the open nursery closet door. I see no spurting blood, signaling a need to yell at me.โWhatโs so important I had to climb the stairs?โ I immediately regret my icy tone.Jackson turns, rising to face me. โIโm so sorry, I didnโt think. I just found the bag and reacted. Are you okay? Want to sit in the rocker? I should have brought it down to you.โI regret my words even more now seeing t
TaylorGroup Session at Dr. Wilsonโs OfficeMonday, May 22 โThank you for securing a sitter and meeting in my office today,โ Dr. Wilson greets. โIโve asked a colleague to join us today. This is Dr. Jacobs.โโDr. Jacobs, please meet Jackson Hayes and Taylor Taft.โ After shaking hands, we take our chairs.โAre you leaving your practice or passing us off?โ I question.Why else would she have another professional sit in on our session?โOur topic of todayโs session is delicate. I recently shared a situation with Dr. Jacobs. Through our discussion, we decided we should both be present today.โ Dr. Wilson assumes her usual chair, pulls out a manila file folder, and begins. โAs you are both aware, I met with the two of you and Kennedy individually throughout the surrogacy process. I did not share items from one session with the others, as privacy is vital in the therapy journey.โ She smiles at both of us before continuing. โThe two of you shared a similar issue with me in your sessions. I ha
TaylorThe doorbell wakes me from my nap. Who could it be on a Wednesday? I slowly rise from the sofa and glance at the sleeping twins in their nearby bassinets on my way to the front door. Through the peephole, I spy Dr. Wilson.Did I forget an appointment?โHello,โ I greet. โTaylor.โ Dr. Wilson wraps me in a gentle hug. โIโm so sorry. I read about Kennedyโs passing in the paper. May I come in?โIโm frozen in place. Seeing Dr. Wilson away from her office catches me off guard. She is here to talk about Kennedyโs death.Iโm not strong enough to work through this now with her.โTaylor,โ Dr. Wilson prompts. โIf this is a bad time, I can come back.โโNo!โ I announce louder than needed. โCome in. I just woke up, so I am a little out of it,โ I confess, excusing my actions.โResting when the twins rest is important,โ Dr. Wilson states. โHow have you been feeling?โ She seats herself on the end of the sofa nearest the still sleeping babies.โOverwhelmed, but Iโm sure all new mothers experience
TaylorItโs Sunday morning, Jacksonโs second day back at work. Elizabeth and Gerald are still in town, thank goodness. I climb from bed a bit easier this morning, my pain lessens with each passing day. I peek into the living room to ensure Elizabeth and Gerald are with the twins before I slip into the restroom. I enjoy a few extra minutes to freshen up; then stride toward the kitchen in search of breakfast. My appetite grows every day. Iโm told itโs because I need extra energy for nursing.โGood morning,โ Gerald greets from the sofa as I walk by.I return his greeting, noting he holds both twins in his lap. I climb upon a kitchen stool.โHowโd you sleep last night?โ Elizabeth asks, sliding a plate of sausage and tater tots my way. As I rise, she pushes my shoulder down and fetches the ketchup for me.I am very glad they put everything on hold to help Jackson with the funeral arrangements and me with the twins, but eventually I need to do everything on my own. She pampers me too much; i
TaylorโDid you halt the mail delivery while you were in the hospital?โ Gerald inquires.My eyes widen. We should have, but we did not.โIโll walk Nya to the mailbox and back,โ Elizabeth offers quickly. โYou need to rest and Gerald, you need to sit still so the twins can nap,โ she teases her husband.When they return, Elizabeth releases Nya from her leash. She immediately darts to Geraldโs feet. She stands on her hind legs to ensure the twins are safe in his care. Next, she whines at the side of the sofa, wanting me to lift her to my lap. This simple task requires planning on my part. One cannot simply bend over and pick up an eight-pound puppy two days after a C-section. As I cuddle and coo Nya on the sofa, Elizabeth uses kitchen scissors to open a small package. She asks me if she should look inside or wait for Jackson. My eyes remain on Nya as I give Elizabeth permission to open it.Sensing a change in her mood, Nya hops from the sofa to join her at the kitchen island. My eyes foll
TaylorI behave like a perfect patient, and the doctor releases me on Sunday afternoon. As we round the corner, Jacksonโs home comes into view. A large sign with balloons attached graces the front lawn, welcoming Carter and Kennedy home.โNo, no, no,โ Jackson chants. โI told Madison not to tell the neighbors. I canโt handle a party. This is not a time to party.โ It might be easy to let his words upset me. The twins are to be celebrated. They are tiny, precious, bundle of joys. However, I completely understand Jacksonโs need for privacy. The passing of his wife at the same time his twins are born takes its toll. โI will thank everyone for coming and send them on their way,โ I offer. โIโll fake fatigue.โ Not that it would be much of a stretch. Iโm exhausted; the thought of relaxing on the sofa or in my bed is my only goal.As Jackson pulls the Mustang into the garage, Gerald and Elizabeth park behind it in the driveway. Jackson opens my door for me and extends his arm to assist me to s
TaylorEmotions somewhat in check, Jackson continues. โTaylor opened her door then yelled to wake me up. I got out and went to help Kennedy. Taylorโs water broke, so the EMTs drove the two of us here, while the fire department extricated Kennedy.โ At his motherโs audible gasp, Jackson pauses, and Gerald reaches for his wife. โTaylor was in active labor when Kennedy arrived at the hospital. The babies were in distress, so she was prepped for a C-section. When Taylor went to recovery and the twins to the nursery, I signed forms for Kennedy to have surgery to stop her internal bleeding.โ Jackson releases my hand and stands. โTaylor and the twins got settled here while Kennedy had a second surgery.โโIt was a long emotional night,โ I add, hoping to give Jackson some support in this emotionally tragic story.โThis morning, Taylor decided she needed to go down. She paged nurses, insisting they wheel her down to see Kennedy. She didnโt take no for an answer.โ Jacksonโs Adamโs apple visibly bo