Chapter Two: The Beautiful Lie

Someone had closed Sam’s eyes; his lashes were still damp when the nurse covered his small body with the white sheet.

I sat beside Sam’s empty bed long after the doctors left. No tears came; it was as if my body had forgotten how to cry.

My phone vibrated in my hand; it was Charles

I stared at his name on the screen; he was calling now that Sam was dead. I did not pick up the call; I let it ring until it stopped.

A message arrived seconds later.

I just saw your calls. Natasha wasn’t feeling well tonight. What happened?

The message he sent made no sense to me; My son was dead under a white sheet ten feet away from me, and my husband had sent me a message about another woman's comfort. My fingers moved mechanically across the screen. His call came in again and this time I picked it.

I answered.

Neither of us spoke first. I could hear him breathing from the other end of the call

"Tina." His voice came out finally. "I'm so sorry."

"Are you?"

He paused at my question at first, before he finally said "I should have been there."

"So you knew you were supposed to be here..."

"But I couldn't… Natasha, she was…"

"Charles." I called his name, my voice was flat.. "Please don't."

He stopped what he was saying

"Don't say her name to me right now." I said while I pressed my hand to the window for support, I looked outside the hospital window. The city was beginning its morning, the cars, people, ordinary life moving in every direction. "Don't say anything about her. Not today."

"I just meant…"

"I know what you meant." My throat tightened. "You meant that you had a reason. You always have a reason." I exhaled slowly. "Sam needed you, he needed you to be here, but it is all good now, there is no need to be here anymore. It is fine, you can continue with Natasha.” I said, fighting back my tears.

There was silence from the other end of the call “It is alright then, call me if you need anything” his voice came finally.

As the line hung up, staring at the screen of my phone, I couldn't control myself, I crashed into the floor and cried my eyes out.

After the hospital’s processing and procedure, I was set for the funeral of my son in two days' time. Just a small chapel and polite condolences from people who would forget his name tomorrow. It was a quiet funeral.

Adrian, a colleague, stood beside me all through the procession, comforting me; he looked composed, helping me where necessary, “You should eat something,” he said softly; his voice was gentle

“I’m fine.” That was the only thing I could say to him all day.

At the graveside, I couldn't look at the coffin. It was too small. I had not understood until that moment how much I was not ready for how small it was.

After the burial, the institute called; I almost ignored the call.

But the name on the screen made me pick the call. It was Dr. Warren, the research director.

“Tina,” he said carefully when I answered. “I heard about Sam; I’m so sorry," he said

“Thank you, Doctor," I replied him

“I always believed the treatment would have helped her," he continued

“What treatment?” I asked him

“The research project you were leading,” he said. “You were closest to a breakthrough.”

“That project ended some months ago.” I said, clutching my hand to my chest

“Yes,” he said quietly.

“Because the institute lost funding.” I said

Dr. Warren hesitated for a moment before finally speaking, “Tina… that isn’t exactly what happened.” “What do you mean?” I asked him

He replied, “The funding wasn’t lost.” He continued, “It was withdrawn.”

Cold crept through me. My heartbeat quickened. “By who?” I asked him further; I could hear Dr. Warren exhale slowly.

“By Charles Wesley.” The phone nearly slipped from my hand.

“That’s impossible,” I whispered.

“He personally requested the board terminate the project,” Dr. Warren continued. “He said the funds were needed urgently elsewhere.”

My vision blurred.

“Elsewhere…?” I asked further

“Yes. He asked us to redirect medical resources to a private case.” he replied

I already knew the answer before he said it.

“A pregnancy complication.” Dr. Warren’s voice continued faintly through the phone. “He hired a full prenatal research team. Specialists from Switzerland, Germany, and Japan. The best doctors money could buy.”

The world tilted and my knees gave out, and I sank slowly to the cold marble floor to support myself.

For a long moment I couldn’t breathe; my child had died fighting for every breath.

While another woman’s unborn baby had a team of world-class doctors protecting it.

“Why are you telling me this now?” I managed to ask.

Dr. Warren hesitated. “Because the research data still exists.”

“You kept it?” I asked him

“Of course,” he said gently. “It was your life’s work.”

I could not stop the hot tears that kept coming, and here was I, thinking fate had taken my daughter, only it wasn’t fate. It was a decision, a deliberate choice Charles had made that took Sam’s chance to live, and he had given it to Natasha’s unborn child.

The grief that followed felt like drowning; I pressed my hands to my mouth to keep the scream inside.

My world felt empty, and there was nothing left tying me to this marriage. My last string was now gone.

I wiped the tears off my face. “Dr. Warren,” I said quietly.

“Yes?”

“Send me everything.” I said, “All the research files.”

He hesitated. “Tina… are you sure?”

“Yes.” I responded, Sam might have gone, but other children were not.

“I’m finishing the research," I told him. Even if I had to do it alone or if it took the rest of my life, I was going to finish the research to save other children.

I stood slowly from the floor, and for the first time in years since I married Charles Wesley, I no longer felt trapped; I felt free. He had chosen Natasha and had chosen her child, so I would choose myself this time around and the cure Sam never had.