~NEERAL~I didn’t know where to stop the fireworks tingling inside my heart.It’s been a week since my birthday, but I used to wear Matt’s dress once every night, close my eyes and live those moments when he opened my hair and complimented me.Since last week I used to blush at little things.It feels like, after a long winter spring knocked at my door.The small moments with Matt make me happy.Everything bloomed between us, as I could feel his care and warmth toward me.Oh! I am again ready to confess I am in love with him. I still am.But it scared me to lose him. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I would count it as my fault if I took his care and warmth as love. Lost in my thoughts, I was preparing lunch. It’s Saturday, and Matt is still in his room.My phone chimed, and it didn’t bother me to look.“Hey,” Matt opened the door as he was ready to leave the house.“Woah... where are you going?” I asked.“Don’t ask. My car,” he rolled his eyes, and I understood his car was old e
~NEERAL~ It’s been two weeks since that horrible incident happened to me. A strange feeling took over my heart, a sense of suffocation deep inside. I thought it would be easy for me to survive with Matt being his friend, but the closer we get, the more I see myself drowning in pain. I couldn’t find myself as his friend. Whatever he was doing, he saw us as friends, but it was affecting me badly. My saturation came when he mentioned me as his close friend in front of his family. Yes, last weekend we went to meet his parents. They welcomed me with open arms, and it felt nice, as I missed my mom so much. He told them about Aoife and Xander. It surprised his parents by all those incidents. They were happy I stood by Matt’s side, but I cursed myself for creating so much pain for myself. I was stupid to allow him to enter my heart, but now it was enough. I moved on and made my profiles on dating apps. And seeing my bad luck, he saw mail popping up in my mailbox. “Hey, Neeral. Are you
~NEERAL~ After my discussion with Taylor, I came home. He looks so happy while expressing his love towards me, but today, Matt’s reaction to my proposal amazed me. Why did he act like a jerk? He never accepted me as more than a friend. Then why it felt like he was not happy? Thousands of thoughts boomed through my mind with a single possibility of seeing love in his eyes, but there was nothing. I pulled my files in my hand as I tried to open the door of my house. It was 8, and he was not home. After coming inside, I called him, but he didn’t pick up. I dropped him a message and saw the three dots jumping on the screen, but he didn’t send me a reply. I went for a quick shower, prepared our dinner, and made myself busy with my work. I waited for him long enough for dinner, but he didn’t show up. My eyes landed on the ring Taylor gave me. It was beautiful, and it gave a thin smile. Maybe one day I will start loving Taylor as I did Matt. While I was lost in my thoughts, my ph
~MATT~ Mending a broken heart is like making a sandcastle in a wet place. A wave will come and destroy everything you have built. How stupid was I to allow myself to attain in the same situation twice? At the time, I concede I had developed a special place for Neeral; she accepted Taylor’s ring. Falling in love again took effort, but I didn’t maintain it. Our story leaped to the climax before it began. The time Taylor proposed to her, I couldn’t understand how I should react. Should I be angry at him or angry at myself? I didn’t dare to tell her anything, and neither she waited for me. We shared a special bond, but I was confused; is this friendship or love? An unknown fear crawled under my skin. What if I tell her something, and she leaves me, like Aoife? What if I tell her to wait for me? Let me understand my feeling is love or an infatuation between us? I was confused as hell. The girl I thought I loved didn’t understand my feelings. She thought it was my friendship wi
~NEERAL~ Taylor requested to stay and finish this work with him before I leave for Austin. I agreed with it. At least I can do this much for him after I crushed his heart. He is such a good man; he didn’t complain or mutter a word against me. Neither he asked me the name of the person responsible for his heartbreak. He wanted to give me my farewell dinner, but he had to return. “I am sorry, Neeral. My father is not well. Please stay here for a week and help me finish the work here.” I agreed to help him. He left leaving me alone in Seattle to complete the pending work. I drowned myself in work, as I wanted to finish it soon before I left for Austin. Seattle is a chilly place covered most of the time under ice. I returned to my cottage, where John and his wife made a delicious meal for me. “Thank you,” I smiled. They are here working as cottage caretakers. “Mam, somebody came asking for you?” John informed. “Who?” I asked casually. “He wanted to meet you, but when we asked
Eight months later~Neeral~It’s been eight months since I last saw Matt. My heart still ached for the moment I left him.When he showed up in Seattle asking for my forgiveness, I thought he felt something for me.But I was wrong. It was merely a gentleman’s gesture asking for my forgiveness, not more than that. I shut down all my social contacts and social media to stay low.I didn’t know I was hiding from him or scared of what would happen if he knew I was here in Austin.I came here and started a new job in a local publication house.They are paying well enough for me to survive. I rented a house with my new friends. Everything was going well, but every weekend reminds me how alone I was when my friends used to crash at their family’s or boyfriend’s house.Sometimes, to make my heart fool, I used to search Matt’s profile like a silent stalker. But it’s been a long time since he posted nothing. I am sure he forgot about me.And my foolish heart still remembers him as a precious memo
~NEERAL~ When the breeze touched my body, I fluttered my eyes. I was nude under my sheets, clutching something possessively. I found my head on his chest while my hand rested on his heart. I wiggled a bit when I saw his eyes were gazing at me. He kissed my head, giving me a morning blush as my first expression. He gently caressed my skin from my cheeks to my collarbone, giving me a sense of chills with his touch. “Good morning, beautiful,” he said, playing with my hair. Listening to these words from his mouth, I really felt a blessed morning. Doesn’t it feel strange that you love someone so much that their words can sanction your happiness or your sad moment? My eyes landed on my ring finger. “What is?” I asked, looking at the white stone on my ring finger. “Marry me,” What? Is he proposing to me for marriage in my bed? My eyes opened wide, and my jaw dropped. No, he can’t be serious. “Don’t play with me, Matt.” I didn’t accept this. But his eyes were seriously looking
~AOIFE~ Seriously, Matt’s soup sucks. I still remember the last time he gave me. It made me sick as I was throwing up all night. But I was pregnant at that time. “Fuck,” a thought crossed my mind. No, no, no, last time I was pregnant, and this time? I was lost in my thoughts while looking at the ceiling. My eyes shifted to the time as it was 11 AM. “Shit,” I was alone in the room, sleeping like a log. Where are the others? I did my morning business, as I was feeling tired. It could be because we were awake for the entire night. “Ahh..,” I came out, rubbing my head. “Good morning, girl,” Neeral smiling. “Where are the kids?” I plumped myself on the couch. “They are outside playing with their fathers. What happen to you?” Neeral extended coffee. “I don’t know. Your husband’s soup sucks. Whenever I had it, it made me sick.” I rested my head against the couch. She chuckled. “It made you sick? When was the last time you had it?” “Ahhh... Neeral, when I used to come to his