Lahat ng Kabanata ng Died to Be Loved: Kabanata 1 - Kabanata 8

I pushed the hospital door open a little. A cup flew right at my face.Mom's eyes were red. "Who told you to come? Get out! Haven't you hurt Nina enough? Do you have to see her die?"The cup hit my nose and broke on the floor.Everything went black for a second. Blood kept running out of my nose.I wiped it with my sleeve. "I'm sorry, Nina. I just wanted to see you."Nina's voice sounded all choked. "See me? See how miserable I am? See me die? Get out! You're not my sister! I hate you!"She threw a pillow at me.Then she started coughing really hard."Enough!" Dad said.He grabbed my arm and dragged me out.He pushed me into a plastic chair and lifted my chin.Blood ran into my throat. It tasted gross, like metal. I felt like I was gonna throw up.He patted my back. "Spit it out. Hurry."I shook my head. "I can't. The blood's for Nina. We can't waste it."He looked at me, then sighed.He got some cotton and medicine and cleaned my cut. "Chloe, don't blame Mom or Nina. Sh

I ran out barefoot.Mom was on the living room floor, crying loud.I went over and pulled her sleeve. "Mom, what's wrong?"She shoved me. "You still asking?"She grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard. "Why'd you tell Grandma you wanted meatballs? Are you starving here? We don't feed you? Say it!"I froze. "I just missed Grandma—"She slapped me."You missed her? You missed her to death! If you didn't say that, would she stay up all night cooking and rush over? Would she crash? You're bad luck! My mom is gone because of you! Why don't you just die? Why wasn't it you?"She shoved me again.I stumbled back. My head hit the wall.I didn't feel it. I just kept thinking, 'Grandma is dead? I killed Grandma?'Dad grabbed Mom before she lost it. "Calm down! What does this have to do with Chloe?"Mom fought him, face wet and messy. "How does it not? She caused it! She killed my mom! Let me go! Throw her out! I never want to see her again!"Dad dragged her toward the door. "Chloe, s

Mom dropped to her knees like all her bones were gone.She crawled to the bed, shaky and slipping.My face was really pale, like it got soaked.My lips were bluish purple."Chloe?"She reached out and touched my face.I was freezing cold.She yanked her hand back.Then she kind of went crazy and pulled me into her arms."Chloe! My daughter!"She threw her head back, her neck tight.Her tears mixed with my blood all over her face.She didn't notice. She just held me tighter."Open your eyes and look at Mommy! I was wrong. I know I was wrong! Wake up! Please don't scare me! My baby! My Chloe!"I stood in the corner, watching, confused.Why was Mom crying so hard?Didn't she hate me the most?Didn't she say I was bad luck?That she wished I would die?I paused, then stepped closer.I wanted to wipe the tears and blood off her face.But right before I touched her, I pulled my hand back.No. Mom hates when I touch her. She'll get mad.I just stood there, quiet. "Mom,

There was a tiny coffin in the living room, right next to Grandma's.Dad's hair went gray overnight.Mom put me in my favorite yellow dress. It was their birthday gift to me. I never wore it. I just took it out and looked at it on special days.She knelt by my coffin and wiped my face and hands with a damp towel, slow and careful."Chloe, when you were born, you were so small. So skinny, like a little kitten. I was scared I couldn't take care of you. I thought you'd get sick like Nina. When the doctor said you were healthy, I realized I'd been clenching my hands so hard they were bleeding."I leaned over the edge of my coffin and listened, kinda blank.It was the first time I heard what I was like as a baby.So... when I was born, Mom worried about me too."But then Nina got worse. Every time I saw her hurting all night, it felt like knives in my chest. You were always so good. You didn't cry or make a fuss. Once you ate, you just slept. I thought, since you're so easy, I'd tak