Is It Legal To Buy An Incubus Online?

I ordered an incubus online, but when the package arrived, there were two of them. One was gentle and obedient, the other was hot-tempered and unpredictable. I immediately messaged customer service to ask if they'd sent the wrong one—I had only ordered the gentle kind. The reply came cheerfully. "Congratulations, you've unlocked the hidden variant! This model is a bit special—buy one, get one free!" Wait… what? I remembered hearing people say that raising an incubus is like raising a puppy, only better—they keep you warm at night and don't shed. Well, if that's true, whether I had one or two made no difference. So I ended up paying the price of one and getting two—what a steal! Or so I thought… until I went to feed them. That's when I realized I was the cookie in the middle of a sandwich. Apparently, "keeping me warm at night" was a strenuous activity.

I bought a handsome, aloof incubus online. But he wouldn't stop making that low humming sound, just standing there, staring at me in silence. His body was burning hot. Worried he might be sick, I hurried to contact customer service. After listening to my description, the person on the other end went quiet for a moment. Then they said, "Um... is it possible that your incubus isn't sick—he's just starving, maybe wanting to kiss you, or... do something else?"

I never imagined my life would take this turn. Fresh out of high school, I thought college was my next step—until my parents' gambling debts destroyed my savings, leaving me stranded in a gap year I never planned. Now, I spend my days checking in high-profile guests at an elite country club in San Antonio, trying to rebuild my future dollar by dollar. Then he walked in. Pierce White—a man nearly three times my age, newly divorced, dangerous in the way only experience can be. He was supposed to be just another wealthy member, another name in the system. But the way he looked at me, the raw heat in his gaze, ignited something I never expected. And once we cross the line...there's no going back.

Three years of contract marriage, and Silas has been the picture of icy restraint — buttoning his shirts all the way to the top. Knowing he doesn't love me, I decide to stop lying to myself. But just as I'm about to flee with the divorce papers, I stumble upon a forum called Mischief & Mayhem. The pinned post screams in red letters: "URGENT! I'm actually an incubus. I've spent three years pretending to be cold and celibate so I won't scare my wife. But she just asked for a divorce and I can't hide it anymore... HELP: How do I win her back in 30 days without revealing what I am?" In the attached photo, a black heart-tipped tail is shamefully coiled around a suit trouser leg, its tip hooked around a tie. That tie — I bolt upright in bed. That's the limited-edition tie I gave Silas. My iceberg husband is secretly a lovesick male incubus?

As I laid there waiting for sleep to take me. I was startled as my eyes drifted they landed on a human shaped shadow again by the bathroom door. I tried to roll. Nothing happened. Scared now, I tried to reach my phone. My arms wouldn’t move. My breathing was getting rapid. The only thing that would move is my eyes. Why can’t I move? From the corner of my eye, I saw it. The shadow moved from the doorframe towards me. It was an ambiguous huge male human shape with a hat on its head. Once it reached the bed, it stopped. Less than a foot from me and I couldn’t make out any details. My heart was racing, and my breathing was ragged. Male knuckles traced my jaw from my ear to my chin. The touch was gentle. Intimate even. A husky, seductive chuckle filled the air that still smelt of the candle. “I know what you need little gazelle.” The shadow shimmered. Now I could see the details. He was at least six foot two. Dark skin, bald head, and wearing jeans that clung to his muscled legs. An unbuttoned dark purple shirt displayed his taunt chest. The moonlight showed his beautiful smile as he leaned towards me. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. “Shhh. I’m going to make it all better.” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was supposed to be a relaxing vacation. Vivienne needed a get away from the stress of her life. Having heard her best friend sing the praises of Helen, GA. she decided to spend a week in cute cabin and decompress. Instead her dreams are invaded by a mysterious sensual man with swirling purple eyes. Soon she wonders if he’s more than just the man of her dreams.

Lately, buying succubi and incubi online had become all the rage. I could not afford one, so I picked one up from the side of the road instead. It turned out the quality of this incubus left a lot to be desired. Not only did he have a terrible temper, but he showed absolutely no interest in me. He would rather starve than "feed". Left with no other options, I snapped a photo of his incubus mark and sent it to the shop owner, asking how to handle this particular model. The shop owner completely lost it. "Oh my god, please tell me you're joking! That's not an incubus! That's a demon! The most dangerous kind!"