Ricky Gervais quotes

Callum Harris is famous on and off the pitch. His club stays near the top of the table season after season. He’s wealthy beyond a normal person’s wildest dreams. He’s got a beautiful house in Alexandria that’s a short drive to the training centre his football club owns. He’s the apple of his family’s eye, with an older sister who dotes on him and a baby brother who looks up to him. He’s even got a best mate, Isaac Martin, that he spends all of his very limited free time with. The only problem is that he’s keeping a massive secret from his club, his friends, his family, and even Isaac. Especially Isaac. Callum is in love with Isaac. He plays in the Premier League, though, so he has to keep it a secret. There’s no such thing as an openly gay player at their level. It’s got to stay secret if he wants to keep playing the sport he loves. It’s got to stay secret if he wants to keep playing for one of the best clubs in the league. It’s got to stay secret if he wants to keep his family’s approval. It’s got to stay secret if he wants to keep his best mate…

Dad was terrified of being laughed at. Every holiday, he only ever said one thing. “Do not embarrass me.” The relatives were sitting around chatting when I accidentally knocked over a fruit platter on the table. He grabbed me right there and slapped me across the face. At dinner, I reached for a second helping of pot roast, and he kicked my chair out from under me. Later, when it was time to hand out gift cards, Uncle Ray miscounted and came up one short. Without a word, Dad shoved me out into the hallway in nothing but a thin shirt. The cold cut straight through me. I pounded on the door while I cried and apologized. He did not make a sound. He turned to Uncle Ray with an apologetic smile and said, “Sorry about that. I guess I have not taught this kid any manners.” He did not know that his lessons had already conditioned me to flinch at the phrase “laughed at.” Every time I heard it, I froze and felt myself shut down. When I heard him say it again through the closed door, I turned in silence and walked toward the dark bridge at the edge of the neighborhood. I did not know what I planned to do. I only knew I wanted the noise in my head to stop. I reached the railing and stared at the water below. One thought crossed my mind. “Dad, this time, no one will ever laugh at you because of me again.”

Even though it's the New Year holidays, I'm still cooped up in the company while churning out the paperwork needed for the company's listing process. That's when my keyboard suddenly types a paragraph on its own. "Stop working already! Your boss is about to fire you, and yet you're still slaving away for his sake!" I'm stunned by the information I see. The keyboard goes on typing, "He said you only have a bachelor's degree. If not for the fact that you're a walking lucky charm, you wouldn't have gotten into this company in the first place! "Now that the company is in the process of getting listed, it's costing far too much just to keep you around! Even though you're being paid a high salary every month, you can't even provide the company with any value! "He intends to dismiss you the moment the company gets listed! Since it's the new year, new blood should be joining the company!" I've been holding my coffee mug the whole time. At that moment, I can feel my hands starting to tremble. For five years, the projects that I've manned never got into any problems. The final round of funding always came through. Even when we were choosing a new office, we came across the situation of an owner who was all-too happy to get rid of the building. I can say with great confidence that I'm 90% of the main reason how this company expanded from a tiny office to the entire building. To think that I'm the first person to be discarded right after my boss reaches his goal… I can feel my stomach twisting uneasily. Even my throat goes tight from the anxiety. Just as I'm about to leave, a few angry voices ring out in the office. "I'm an office chair! I'll break during the board meeting tomorrow and make sure that your boss falls right on his ass!" "I'm a printer! I'll make sure to print all the documents he wants with nothing but gibberish on them!" "I'm a coffee machine! Tomorrow, I'll whip him a special brew that ensures he will never get to leave the toilet bowl for the rest of the day!"

The wild Garvey clan is back. Jodi Garvey and Matt Kirby finally tie the knot. A lost love returns to Gabriella Garvey, but will she be smart enough to hold on to it this time? Jackie has grabbed the attention of a particular deputy who she despises. The deputy is not discouraged and goes to romantic and amusing lengths to make Jackie his. He wants to learn every inch of her body and all of her secrets. Yet, he finds out more than he wants to know. How will he handle it? In the meantime, Patty can no longer hide her feelings for a man who is a true playboy in his heart. Will she go for it or walk away crushed? And we find out what happens after happily ever after begins as a long, lost Garvey returns for his birthright. ******** He knew the contest hadn't started yet, but Jackie had to be the hottest woman in the room. Her long legs and hips were magnificent. Jackie's voice was like velvet on the mic. He continued to gawk at her. Dalton!” Goldman yelled. Nick snapped out of the haze he was in.“What?” Goldman smirked. "Close your mouth.” He frowned. "Not bad for - what did you call her? A rigid anal repressive,” Goldman teased. Nick didn't know what to say. "You may as well shake that bulge off. You said yourself, she hates you. You're not getting any from her." Nick felt an excitement that he hadn't felt in over a year. It would happen when he would see a woman he liked, especially when she was a challenge. He smirked and leaned over to Goldman and stared him straight in the eye. "Where there's a will there's a way, old friend. And I just found my muse.”

I was in the office bathroom stall when I heard them trash-talking me. The intern I'd trained for three months whined, "She's a heartless witch—like a robot with zero brain cells." I was about to swing the door open when another voice jumped in, laughing. "Documents incomplete." "Receipts don't match." "No signature? Denied." "Seriously, we've all memorized the freaking rulebot's script!" Once they were gone, I headed back to my desk. The intern stormed in and slammed a fat stack of reimbursement forms in front of me. "Don't go on another power trip and block everyone's claims." I skimmed the obviously fake receipts. Normally, I'd tear into her. But this time, I just smiled. "My head's killing me. Can't read the fine print."

I have a severe case of logorrhea. Only speaking makes me feel alive. My classmates all call me a freak, but Marvin Britt is the only one willing to listen to me. One day, I bring some homemade soup over to see him, only to catch him holding his junior's hand. "Lexie, your voice is so lovely, unlike my wife at home. She sounds like a squawking duck. It's exhausting." My hands shake so violently that I drop the thermal flask. The commotion angers a nearby madman, who forces a bottle of boiling water down my throat. With my mouth full of blood and blisters, I realize I need proof. I send Marvin—a lawyer—a frantic voice note to accompany me to the police station for evidence. Marvin shoots back a single word—"Noted". Of course. He doesn't even listen to it, as usual. He used to reply to everything I said with voice notes at least a minute long. But we hit the seven-year itch, and he's sick of my endless talking. Leaving the hospital, I stare at my diagnosis of permanent mutism and laugh bitterly. He must be thrilled. His world is finally quiet.