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It's your fault

Author: Kiki
last update Huling Na-update: 2025-05-08 17:14:27

Maya couldn't move fast enough. Her legs felt like they were going to give out beneath her, but she kept walking. Every step took her farther from the nightmare, farther from the image of Jayden and her best friend tangled together on that bed. She just needed space, air, anything that wasn't this moment.

But then, she heard him. The thud of his footsteps. Jayden.

"Maya, wait!" His voice was breathless, almost frantic. "Maya, please just let me explain."

Her heart was pounding so hard, she almost couldn't breathe. She kept walking, faster now, hoping he wouldn't catch up, but he was too quick. His hand grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop.

"Maya!" Jayden's voice cracked, like he was hurting too. He was desperate. She could hear it. "Please, just let me explain. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for it to happen like this."

She pulled away from his grasp, her whole body stiff. "You didn't mean for it to happen?" Her voice was tight, barely holding together. "You were in bed with her, Jayden. You didn't mean for it to happen? That's what you're going to say to me?"

"I..." He started, but she cut him off.

"No. Don't," she snapped, shaking her head. "I can't... I can't believe this. I trusted you. I thought..." Her words choked in her throat, her eyes welling up again. "I thought we were different. That we were different."

Jayden's expression softened for a second, but it was gone as quickly as it came. "Maya, I'm sorry. I didn't...."

"You didn't think this through?" Maya's voice wavered, but she kept going. "You didn't think about how it would feel to me? To see you in bed with her? I thought we meant something to you, Jayden. I thought you loved me."

She took a shaky breath, wiping at her eyes. She didn't want to break down, but the tears kept coming. "I waited for you. I waited. I thought... I thought that would mean something. That we would be together. And you..." She couldn't finish the sentence.

Jayden stepped closer, his hand out like he wanted to touch her, but she stepped back, putting some distance between them. "Maya, please, don't ..." His voice cracked with emotion, but it only made her feel worse.

"No." Maya's voice was small, barely above a whisper. "You don't get to say 'please' now. Not after everything."

Jayden looked at her, his face conflicted, like he didn't know how to fix this. His voice dropped, almost like he was speaking through gritted teeth. "Maya, it's your fault, okay? You're the one who wanted to keep your virginity for marriage. Who does that? Who makes someone wait that long?"

The words hit her like a slap. "What...? Are you seriously saying this is my fault?"

"I mean, yeah!" Jayden's voice raised again, a mix of frustration and anger. "You put me in this position. You think I'm just going to wait forever? You think I'm some kind of saint? It's not like you were making it easy for me either. And then you get mad when I fall into temptation?"

Maya stood there, stunned. She couldn't process what he was saying. "You really think I made you do this? You really think it's my fault that you cheated?"

Jayden was pacing now, his hands running through his hair in frustration. "You don't get it, Maya. You were so fixated on this idea of us, this perfect thing, but who does that anymore? Who saves themselves for some ideal future when it's right in front of them?"

Maya felt like she was suffocating. "You're unbelievable. I can't believe you're saying this. I loved you, Jayden. I trusted you. And you....you betrayed me."

"I never betrayed you , Maya!" He threw his hands up. "You made it impossible. You pushed me away, and now you're angry at me for making a mistake?"

Maya stood there, her tears falling freely now. "No, Jayden. I didn't push you away. I wanted to build something with you, something real. But this? This isn't real. This is a lie."

Jayden's eyes narrowed, and he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I hurt you, but you have to understand. I couldn't wait forever. Nobody would. You put me in a position where I had to make a choice. And I made it."

The words hit Maya like a blow. She couldn't breathe. "You made it," she repeated, barely above a whisper. "You made it. And now, you think you can just blame me for your mistakes?"

Jayden opened his mouth to say something, but the words didn't come. He closed it again, and for a moment, the only sound was Maya's breathing short and uneven, like she was gasping for air.

She shook her head, unable to look at him any longer. "I'm done. I'm done with you, Jayden." Her voice was quiet, final.

And without saying another word, she turned and walked away

Maya's feet carried her down the sidewalk, but her mind was miles away. Each step felt like a struggle, her legs heavy, dragging her forward even though she didn't want to move. The world around her cars, people, the noise of the city seemed like it belonged to someone else, somewhere far away. She wasn't really here. She was lost in her thoughts, in the mess of words that kept echoing in her head.

"It's your fault."

"You made me do it."

"Who does that?"

Jayden's voice replayed over and over in her mind, each word like a punch to the gut. You're not enough. You should've been different. But even though she knew it wasn't her fault, that she hadn't done anything wrong, the doubt crept in. It gnawed at her, twisting her insides.

She didn't even hear the car coming.

One minute, everything was numb, and the next screeching tires.

Her feet stopped, but her body didn't move fast enough. The car was so close, she could almost feel it. Time slowed, everything felt like it was happening in slow motion.

It was going to hit her.

But then, at the last second, the car swerved. Tires screeched, the car jerking to a stop just inches from her. Maya's heart was in her throat, her chest tight like she couldn't breathe.

The driver rushed out of the car, his face pale. "Is she okay? Is she alright?" he asked, his voice frantic.

Maya blinked, not even sure if she could speak. She just nodded, her voice barely there. "I'm fine." But her words felt hollow. The fear was still there, buzzing in her chest, but she couldn't find the energy to care.

The man looked at her for a second, then got back in his car and drove off. Maya just stood there, frozen for a moment, the world still moving around her. She felt like she was stuck in some weird dream, disconnected from everything.

Finally, she walked home. Slowly. Every step felt heavier than the last. She barely noticed the time passing, the streets, the people around her. She just needed to get home. She needed to disappear.

When she finally reached the front door, her parents' voices floated in from the kitchen. They were happy, excited. They were expecting her to be happy too.

"Maya! How did it go? Did you get the job?"

But Maya didn't hear them. She didn't answer. She couldn't. She felt like she was moving through mud, each step so slow, so distant. Her eyes stayed down, her gaze fixed on the ground as she walked past them without a word.

Her mom stood there, holding a plate of pancakes, her face glowing with that warmth Maya used to find comforting. "Sweetheart?" her dad called from behind the newspaper.

Maya didn't respond. She couldn't. Her body moved without her thinking, dropping her bag onto the chair as if it didn't matter.

She just needed to get away from them, away from everything. Away from the pain.

She closed her bedroom door behind her and collapsed onto the bed.

And then it hit her.

The tears came, and she couldn't stop them.

Her chest tightened, the sobs wracking her body, the sound of her own brokenness echoing in the quiet room. The hurt, the anger, the frustration,it all came flooding out in a rush, like a dam finally breaking. She didn't know how long she cried, only that it felt like it would never end.

And in that moment, Maya just wanted to scream, to make it stop, but she couldn't. She couldn't make the world stop spinning. She couldn't make herself stop feeling this hollow, this empty. So, she cried. She cried until she couldn't anymore

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