It started like every other night — laughter, drinks, and stories that made us who we are. But it never felt this right before.
Me, staring at the man I've come to love, wishing he knew me for me and not the lies I made him believe.
His laughter, the way it echoed in the room, and how my heart responded was a completely different thing. The peaceful look on his face and how casually he talked when not being stressed of confusion made my heart swell.
Can this ever happen? Us? I doubt it has always been in my heart and having it happen in reality will be a complete miracle.
Yes, a miracle.
I was pulled out of my heavy thoughts by his call.
"Are you okay? Brian?" His eyes, the concern it held as he stared deeper into my soul left me weak to my knees.
I nodded with a smile that only he could give me, "yes" I glanced at the file on the table, "it's indeed amazing how far you've come, congratulations, sir!"
Today, he just struck another deal with the Hilton's Empire, the second largest to the MCKENZIE'S and it was indeed a big achievement.
I've watched him grow, I've watched him forget himself in his attempt to please his family. Love? That's very far from him, happiness? I guess the devil snatched that away the moment he was asked to date a girl be never like.
Friend? I've become the only one he can call a friend and I feel so broken, betrayed by my love for him knowing he trusted me but I ended up falling for him.
"No... congratulations to Us, we did it together" he reached for my hand and grabbed it, " I don't know what I would have done if it wasn't for you, thank you, Brian" every sound that left his mouth made my heart flutter, but the sound of him calling me name that wasn't mine shattered all the small hopes I had.
I forced a smile, "you shouldn't thank me" I pulled my hand away not wanting to let the idea of us linger more than they already do, "I'm your PA, it is my duty and responsibility to help you grow"
I chuckled, "after all, I get paid for it" I joked and he laughed.
"Indeed you get paid for it, but still, you put in a lot of effort for us to achieve this, so thank you "
He stood up, grabbed the file on the table and said,
"Common, we have to celebrate this...a day off for me and you" he turned and walked out of the room.
I sat there, still in a daze. Seconds turned to minutes, only then did I move. I went out, got into the car and we kicked off.
*********
*At the club*
It was a celebration, a success celebration. But when you are stuck with your feelings for your boss and knowing you can't tell him exactly how you feel, all you have to do is drink and laugh along, pretending to be happy and okay.
We both drank, danced and beat ourselves to whatever tension was between us until we were both knocked out, not completely but enough to roll at the comma of alcohol.
"Let's go, it's getting late" I tried to stand but ended up falling. The room was swaying and everyone in it.
"Right!" Justin forced himself up, and was about to leave when he saw me on the couch, helpless.
"Gosh, you are so wasted" He helped me up and supported me as we walked outside.
Indeed, it was late. We both were drunk, too drunk to drive and it will be risky for us to leave.
We booked a hotel. There were supposed to be two rooms but only one room was available, unfortunately. In our mindless state, Justin walked me to the bed and dropped me, his legs and body failed him and he fell on me.
And that was how it started, that was how I knew it can't be over so soon. I tried to push him off but his weight was too much. His face was just an inch away from mine and I trembled at his hot breath on my skin.
Then, he did the unthinkable. He kissed me, like he's been wanting to do it all along. I wanted to push him away, but I wanted him. I've imagined this moment for far too long that I couldn't give it all up now.
I kissed him back, my fingers worked their way through his hair as I pulled him closer, wanting more. If it's just in my head, or a dream caused by my longing and the effect of alcohol on me, then, I'll choose to live in it and enjoy it.
The night was long, heated and raw. A night I will leave to remember, a memory that I'll forever savor.
It was beautiful, but fleeting. It vanished with the night and the morning came with pain I had expected but was never prepared.
He saw it, he saw through my secret and now, he knows me and all the lies I told him, and the truth clearly evident before him, I knew it would tear us apart.
