Hate Personified
I know he hates me now...
But to this extent....
I could have never imagined....
Yesterday I was fired from my job
Last night my clothes were literally thrown out of his mansion..
And today I was refused each and every job I interviewed for....
They simply rejected me with one line
"You shouldn't have messed with such a powerful person"
Sitting on a bench with my suitcase at my feet
A sub in my hand
And few bucks in my pocket was I
Sapphire brown drowning in my tears.
The teardrops were reaching my lips as I took another bite.
They made my food salty but that was my least concern.
I was hopeless. Penniless...homeless. Jobless and what not.
What will I do now?
Where will I sleep....
It's nothing new...
I have been in this condition before but the results have been always bad
Be it some drunk guys forcing on me...or the cold night freezing me to hell
Having diarrhea or food poisoning
Or simply running out of my medicine and going unconscious due to rapid pulse.
I had only one choice
Go back and repent...plead...cry...
Whatever that helps melting his coldness towards me.
Dying in front of his door was better than dying here
At least there will be someone to give me a proper funeral when I die...
Sapphire!!
I scolded myself ..what the hell am I thinking!!
Lifting myself up I decided to return back from where I came..
AR mansion
As expected I was denied entry.
His words through the telecom being
"Show her out.."
Well technically I was already out...
Sitting crossed leg in front of his door under the burning sun with a cheap vodka bottle in my hand was I...the so called unwanted disgraceful bit**
His words from 2 years back not mine.....
With each harsh word he ever spoke for me ..I rewarded my self with a gulp of the nasty throat burning liquid...
Gold digger
Disgrace
Cheating wh***
Slu*
Unfaithfully
Unloved
Finally the bottle was finished...and my eyes were drowning in tears...
Even though I was broken beyond extent I was smiling like crazy...
My sounds of laughter were irritating the guard in front of me and he decided to ignore me and go inside...
The road was empty and my destination was In front of me..
I held the railing of the big door and started shaking it...
The letters AR written on it made me push and pull it harder trying to open it....
"....Andro.......pl....EA......se. open....up.....Open Up!!! Open this godamm door!! I need to see you!!! Open it!!"
I started low but now was screaming on top of my lungs..
The bypasses were giving me strange looks..
But I didn't stop...
Finally the guard appeared and pulled me away from the door..
He dragged me back and pushed me on the garden in front of the entrance
"Just go away you mad women!! Or I'll call the hospital staff to take you to a mental asylum..."
"You call me mental!! Huh?? I'll tell you what mental is!!"
I don't know what happened but my emotions were going overboard..
Just seconds before I was laughing and now my anger was uncontrollable.
I had a metal rod in my hand and my target was standing in front of me...
With all my drunken strength I swinged the rod with full force and next I know the windshield of his Jaguar was in pieces..
The guard screamed in horror and people around stopped whatever they were doing.
A satisfied smile escaped my lips as I looked at my masterwork...
But my smile was short-lived...
Within seconds I was thrown on someone's shoulders and the rod fell on the ground.
I was being taken inside by none other than Andro...
His shoulder was hurting my stomach and a feeling of uneasiness settled in my throat ...
Next I know his Louis Vuitton thousand dollar shirt and shoes were soaked in my stinking vomit and he dropped me on the grass...
Curses escaped his lips but I was least concerned...
One after the other the alcohol started rejecting my body....
If there is a better way of saying it...
He moved back from me and the maids appeared
He threw his soaked shirt at them and removed his shoes...
My vomits at last ended and I managed to breathe again...
The smell made it difficult to breathe and I stepped back from the mess I created.
In front of me was standing the Greek god himself with his 8 abs on full display....
Under the shining sun his muscles were flexing with anger while my body was heating with long forgotten emotions...
His jaw was clenching with anger and disgust and his cold grey eyes were looking for kill.
Gripping my forearm I was dragged along inside the castle
I was pushed inside his room and his door banged shut.
"You disgusting attention seeking bi*** how dare you pull up a stunt like that??"
I giggled in response....the alcohol was still controlling my brain and I was speaking whatever came to my mind
"Androoo ........youuu....you.....don't......love.....me.??..tell.....me......does.....Andrea's....touch.....doe...s this....."
I placed my one hand on his chest...listening to his fast beating heart.....and the other on his cheek......
Oh god It's been so long since I felt his touch.....
His eyes softened for a second but it was soon gone.....
He pushed me back and I landed on the velvety carpet...
Giggling I lifted myself up and again approached him
"You.....can't.....de...ny......you...still...love me......she.....is.....better...than....me....I ....know....."
"She...has...looks...money....name...purity......everything.......I....am.....j...UST...a ugly street poor....girl....a nobody.....but.....for...this .....nobody......you...are everything......"
His soft eyes suddenly glared with anger and next I know he gripped my neck and pushed my back on the wall...
"You think you can fool me with the sweet talking.... Sapphire Brown ..you mean nothing to me !! Nothing!! Even if you die the next second it won't matter to me!"
His grip on my neck was tight....but more than his grip his words hurted me....tears leaked like waterfall as I stared into his cold eyes.
Another wave of up thrust in my neck boosted the choking and Andro guessed right.
He pulled my weak body to the flush and I emptied my stomach once again.
My hair was now drenched with it and I stinked like a skunk.
Before I could relax a bit I was pushed behind the glass of the bathroom and my back hit the knobs.
His face was very close to me as his hand held my wrist above my head.
I struggled for release because of the pain in my back but he refused....
"Le...ave....me..."
I managed to say
"Just stop struggling for once woman!!"
He shouted
And next I know cold water drenched me and I shrieked with it's coldness.
He had switched on the shower and now we both were fully wet under it.
I struggled trying to escape it's coldness but his grip was strong ....
He was least bothered by it.
Instead his eyes were fixed on me...his abs were now in contact with my wet self and his hair looking perfect jelled backward.
My body reacted as a warmness rushed through me....the coldness was long forgotten as his eyes imprisoned me.
I wish I could touch him once again...
My eyes landed on his lips and I guess I demanded more than I ever deserved.
He was expensive...his touch...his lips...and a beggar like me could never afford him.
But the heart wants what it wants and before I could stop myself I found myself leaning towards him to feel what once was mine.
As his warm breath mixed with my stinking foul one I was bought back to reality by him
He moved back at the last moment and I slipped down the ground without his support.
He was gone banging the door shut as my tears mingled with the cold shower.
My body broke into shivers and it seemed that my body nearly died yearning for his touch.
I don't know for how long I stayed there under the shower trying to wash myself clean...
Trying to make myself deserving for him...
But no matter how long I tried
I will never deserve him
They say every priest has a past and every sinner has a future.
But for Andro a sin can never be forgotten..
No matter how hard the sinner tries
As once the hands get coloured in sin nothing can rinse it away for him.
...............................
Mission to devils caveA heartbreak is not the end of this worldBut deception is.A rejection can only hurt youBut a betrayal kills you.But you can still surviveYou can survive if you freeze your heart and lock your emotionsYou can survive in the shell of a person you once were.And today I just happened to realise how strong of a shell Andro had build around him.As I came out of the bathroom fully soaked in water and back in my senses I was met with his presence.Sitting on the sofa ,scrolling down his phone."1 month"He spoke without looking at me"1 month you have to leave this town and never come back..all your needs will be provided with. You could find a decent job and live your own life without messing with mine...best for both of us"He got up to leave but I will not accept my
Deal with the devilI closed my eyes with my arms engulfing myself trying to protect me from the unknown.My heartbeat was increasing with each passing second and I could feel my hands starting to shake.Minutes passed and my condition worsened in anticipation.A panic attack was in making and me forgetting today's dose of my medicine was a catalyst.He was silent...only his strong cologne and cigar smoke intermixing could be felt.Finally after waiting for too long I decided to open one eye.He was very close...his fingers held my brown locks with which he was playing.."I....I...a...m so..rry...I... didn't..meant.to....""Just shut up your pretty mouth belle"I zipped my mouth shut and breathing became difficult.My chest started moving up and down faster as tears stinged my tears..The pain is startin
DeceivedI was desperate for his forgiveness...Desperate beyond limits...And maybe that's why I was standing here in Henry's office ,handing him over the file behind Andro's back.As I made way out of his office and the news of Henry's final confirmation to the project spread my happiness had no limits.I was sure Andro will be very happy after all this project was his dream project and also one of the biggest.He was celebrating his victoryBut his celebrations involved being with her and not me.I must admit I never saw Andro as happy as he is today..With her in his arms he is staring at Andrea with so much love ."Oh god Alex I can't believe....I am so happy for you..."With this she captured his lips...I should look awayI know but I can'tMy eyes wanted to see it...to feel my heartbreak...to f
Ending the painI granted his wishI never showed him my face again6 months have passed since I last saw himJust 6 and it feels like I haven't met him in eternity.How is life if you ask?Well it's stagnant...boring...dull. DepressingI got a job after all...I am not very proud in telling what is it.But at least it is the only one I have."Sapphire!! You are needed here!!"I looked around to see my co worker holding out the garbage bag for me.I grabbed it and made my way towards the dumpster in the alley.The clothes I wore were not at all decent.It was my work dress so I didn't had a choice.Night was approaching and my shift was going to start.Breathing a long sigh I searched my pocketPlacing two tablets in my mouth I was ready to go.&nbs
Chapter 16 {9°Celsius}Where are you now?Alessandro Romano p.o.vStaring at her back as my mind registered her wordsA disastrous kind of a storm broke inside me."I was a mistake...I was discarded in dump......I don't deserve happiness....you will not have to see this ugly face anymore.... don't have to touch this disgusting body.... congratulations....goodbye......"No!!This can't be it.I should be happy that she finally decided to leave forever.But then I don't know why a feeling of dread enraptured inside me... like my very soul was getting separated from me.Like by not stopping her right now I was committing the biggest mistake of my life.She said she was a mistake...agreed ...but she was my life's most beautiful mistake.Those years with her were the golden period of my life.She said she is ugly.
Chapter 17 {8°Celsius}Boulevard of broken dreamsMy childhood was the one every other child dreamed of.I never longed for anything neither did any of my demands were left unfulfilled.Result of it being that I never grew up to be greedy.When all your wishes get satisfied you no longer aspire for more and more.You learn contend.And that's what my parents desired me to be like.Humble, sweet, understanding ,down to earth and a perfect gentleman.A man who has strength of character.Power of wordsAnd heart of emotions.A man who doesn't class people instead treat rich and poor equally.And may be that was one of the reasons I Alessandro Romano fell madly in love with a poor orphan girl.Who had nothingNo status, no riches ,no family name.Nothing but a pure soul, a bright smile and golden heart.
Chapter 18 {7°Celsius}Diary part 2I never thought I would meet him again but our destiny had different plans.I was again placed in front of him with head hung downNot daring to look into his eyes and focussing on his perfectly shining shoes instead.I was ashamed of myself.Ashamed of being so damn ignorant and lost while crossing the road.Ashamed of my own situation that made me stand here lost at the centre of the road waiting for death without even knowing it.If he hadn't been the one driving the car I was sure any other person must have ran over me .I expected him to yell at meScold me for being so carelessBut he didn't say a word except asked me if I was alright.I gave my answer with a nod and after that there was silence.I could feel his deep state at me but I couldn't dare to look
Chapter 19 {6° Celsius}When he broke18 March 2017I never deserved AndroHe is too good for me or I can say I am too bad for him.I admit we have a connection very few can have.A connection which soothes my anxious heart with just a mere touch of his fingers.But this connection is good for me and a downfall for him.His mother and his friends have made it clear to him.They can predict his downfall with me at his side.But he cannotHe is too adamant and independent to let others control his life.He wants me and he has made this clear to everyone today.He proposed to me today.We haven't even dated but again he was not the kind of man who dated.He never thinks what others think and does what he wishes to do.He said he wanted me to be his if I permitted.My