Dread continues to swallow me whole while I was just there, lying on my bed, inhaling the sweet-minty smell and taking in all that's left of my room and trying my best not to cry.
I was already over the fact that my parents are now divorced. What I can't move on with, is that I'm leaving. Leaving the town where I grew up and spent most of my life, leaving my friends who I practically grew up with.
Leaving what I value the most; memories.
I thought that my dad will be the one leaving but apparently life hates me so much that it made me the one leave the place on earth I love the most.
I don't want to leave. But I don't wanna stay with him either.
There's a part of me that wants neither of them, all I want is to be alone, but even I know I can't handle that.
Even though it pains me to do so, I agreed to go with my mother, to her hometown. Going out of my comfort zone is the last thing I wanna do. I don't want to adjust and make new friends. I'm happy with my friends here. I don't want to experience the awkwardness of getting lost and going to the wrong class and having to sit and eat alone at lunch. I would rather not eat at all.
And other than that, I'm scared.
I'm scared that people won't want to know me, and that I might just end up being alone. All kinds of insecurities start to rush in and my stomach starts to churn I wanted to scream my guts out.
I hear a slight knock on my door and I didn't bother to get up or say anything. She knows that I'm still sulking.
"Mel?" My mom asks as she enters my room.
"Here." I say, sounding dull than ever.
"All our stuff is already in the truck, ready to leave."
"Okay." I answer, still not getting up and I hear her sigh.
"Your father will be here in thirty minutes." She says and that almost made me jump out of bed and leave right away. Almost.
I sit up and then looked at her. She looks back at me and sits on my bed.
"It's fine if you don't want to go with me." She says and I scowl at the idea.
"I want to go with you" I insist.
"I just don't want to leave my friends and the memories I have here." I add.
"You know, you can always leave and go back." She starts to say and I looked at her. I know there is more she's going to say so I remained silent.
"Your friends? They will remember you, and I know you will also remember them. The memories that you are afraid to leave behind, you can still take them with you and make new ones."
"I know it will be hard, but that's the whole point in life. To make memories or mistakes, learn from them, make new ones, and the cycle continues."
"I'm not forcing you to come with me. You can stay here with your friends and still go to the same school." She finishes.
I thought about the things she just said. And I know my answer.
I followed my mom down the stairs and I take one last look around the house.
I turned to look at the kitchen, where I always used to run around and my dad would chase me just to get me to eat my vegetables and then bribe me with strawberries afterwards. The couch in the living room, where I always used to spend almost my entire Friday nights binge watching Netflix TV shows and stress eating. That spacious corner under the stairs, where I used to hide as a kid when my parents would fight.
I had so many memories here.
Good and bad ones.
But even though it hurts to go, deep down, I still want to.
I snap out of my thoughts and followed my mom, who is already outside the house, took one last glance and closed the door.
I'm done sulking. There is nothing I can do. I already accepted the fact that I'm leaving and won't be going back anytime soon, that I will be new to a town, and its people.
I told myself to sleep it off, but I wasn't even tired of sulking, and I wasn't able to sleep in the car at all. Knowing I won't be sleeping anytime soon, I decided to put on my earphones and played my travel playlist. I looked out the window as we start to enter the town, but quickly looked away when I realized we'll be passing the town's high school.
I'm not ready for that yet.
I get out of the car after my mom, and I took a deep breath of the finally fresh air. I follow her to the door as I see her get the house keys, she opens it and I follow her inside and I didn't bother to look around.
"Your room is upstairs, turn right, and second one on the left." She says as if she was reading my mind.
I followed her instructions and ended up in front of a dark brown wooden door. I open it and a wet-cardboard smell immediately hits my nose.
I quickly walk to the windows and opened them to let in some fresh air, and to at least get the bad smells out. I'm going shopping tomorrow.
I'm not planning to sleep on an air mattress my whole stay here.
Or dealing with a wet-cardboard smell until my nose bleeds.
Frustrated with my 'new room', I decided to go downstairs, to the kitchen, since it's the only place in this house that has decent furniture. Or that only has furniture for that matter.
I pulled out my To Do List notebook from my small backpack that I always carry around with me. I wrote down the things I know that I will be doing tomorrow and did my shopping list afterwards. I have been this way since I was a kid. When things go out of my control and my plans are ruined, it is simply frustrating for me.
My stomach then, starts to slightly ache exactly when I finished my lists.
I need food.
I looked up the nearest McDonald's, grabbed my mom's car keys and my wallet.
One thing that I like about this town so far is that somehow, I feel safe here even though I just moved.
I used to walk the streets at night with my friends, and then grab some coffee, but it's all new to me.
Something tells me that I now have to walk the streets at night alone.
I feel someone come up behind me and panic goes up my spine. I start to quick up my pace and realized something.
I don't know where I am.
Clearly, walking the streets at night is a bad idea.
I feel like any minute now, someone is about to cover my mouth to prevent me from screaming, take me into a car and drive off to the town's dark side.I know, I'm exaggerating and what I'm saying can't possibly be real.I hope.I stopped walking, well, fast-walking and decided to turn around. Even though I know it was the dumbest thing to do.I turn around and I see a little kid. A girl, to be exact."Were you following me?" I ask her."Yeah," She nods her head slowly."I believe you're the one who's taking me home tonight." She gives me a small smile.Oh honey, even I don't know my way back."What are you doing out here at this time at night?"I could ask myself the same thing."I was at the playground,”Okay, as if that's not creepy at all.<
I have never been so unmotivated.Groaning inwardly, I roll out of bed and went into the bathroom to shower. I brushed my teeth afterward and picked out my clothes.I couldn't even sleep last night. Everything sucked. I felt even worse when I saw myself in the mirror with dark circles under my eyes and was paler than ever.I put on a plain fitted lavender crop-top with long sleeves, high-waisted black jeans, and black Vans. I didn't bother to style my hair since I was feeling lazy.I head downstairs and start to quickly eat my breakfast. Mom comes out of her room, already dressed for work, with a towel wrapped around her hair. She starts to eat her breakfast while I already finished mine and put my plate on the sink.I grabbed my bag, kissed her goodbye and walked out the door.Walking my way to the bus stop, I look at my surroundi
It's my second day here at the town's high-school.I didn't like it. But I also didn't hate it.People still stared at me, but not like yesterday.They probably memorized all my features by now.I attended my classes in the morning, and then had lunch with Chloe.I got to meet Ollie and I enjoyed talking to him, to be honest.His hair was dyed platinum blonde and was styled like Stefan Salvatore's hero-hair, he had hazel eyes and thin lips.He had a good sense of humor, and we share the same opinion about things.We also both happen to get attracted to guys.He was proudly gay at heart.I genuinely admire him for that, not all people understand and accept homosexuality. Others are just being themselves and who they want to be.If some guys would want
An hour passed.And Ms. Parker hasn't come back yet."What the fuck do we do?" The black-haired guy groaned in frustration.I cover my face with my hands, trying to calm myself while thoughts keep on running in my mind and then I suddenly jumped at a noise.Ally's brother was punching the door.Repeatedly.Last time I checked, you are supposed to punch someone to hurt them, not yourself.And to make matters worse, it is not a person that he is punching, but a door.I know I am mentally unstable, but bro, you need to work on those anger issues."Ace, stop that." The black-haired guy said, putting his arm on Ace's shoulder, but he just shoves the guy away. The guy doesn't stop him anymore and sits back down.Is he for real? He is just going to take a seat while Ace
"Ace," I say, acknowledging his presence.Which is unwanted I might add."I, um, I want to apologize. You know, for what happened earlier," He says, staring right into my eyes.I was surprised, not all people can look straight into someone's eyes.Though it was dark, the post lights illuminated his face. It caused me to notice his dark brown hair, he had green-blue eyes that would even look grey if you would not look intently, his face shape was somehow in between oval and square because of his jawline, and kissable lips.Damn, he looks perfect. And he is only wearing a white shirt, black Nike shorts and flip-flops.Usually, I would get uncomfortable having eye contact with someone for more than three seconds. But he just kept staring, and I didn't mind.I now realized why."Are we okay?" He asks.He was waiting for an an
The weekend passed and before I knew it, it's the weekdays.Nothing was new, classes were the same.During lunch, all that Chloe and Ollie talked about was the bonfire."More girls lose their virginities during bonfires than prom," Ollie says with a sly grin."Speaking of, since when are you planning to lose yours?" Chloe asks him."I can ask you the same question, honey.""Can't say we have the same answer.""Still swooning over the same guy, I see," Ollie says teasingly."I'm actually planning on asking him to the bonfire." Chloe smiles, blushing."Oh really? Who's the guy?" I ask her."Ace Martins," She answers, smiling.Of course she likes Ace. The dude's practically perfect.Oh god, I remembered his abs."This bitch's been crushing on him since middl
Ace's POV"Fine," I tried my best not to roll my eyes and sighed instead, and the way her face lit up was simply priceless to look at.I couldn't find it in me to say no to her."Thank you, she'll be very happy," She smiles."I'll see you at the bonfire." I say and she silently says 'okay' while still smiling.I silently go down their stairs and quickly went out the door.I walk back to my house and I see my friends messing around the front yard."Ace, why are you smiling?" Paul asks me.I am?We got to the bonfire and I followed my friends who were approaching the little spot under the trees.They started putting up our tents, but I just stood there, looking for Melannie."A little help here, Ace?
Ace's POVEveryone cheered and sat down on the logs.Chloe sat on my left, while Mel sat with Tristan on my right."Do you have any idea on what the games are?" Mel asks me."Boring," I say and she scowled."Everyone likes a good suck and blow, right?" James says and people cheer once again.<