My wedding was a blast!
Everyone is so happy as if we are a normal couple who fell in love with each other and end in marriage.
Though I can't stop thinking about Jana. Even if they all thought that I don’t care about other people’s feelings, it’s the opposite.
I rejected most of my guy friends who confess to me not because I don’t care about their feelings for me but because I don’t want to lead them on knowing my destiny. It will hurt them more.
That is why I chose to be misunderstood as someone who has a heart that is hard as stone.
That is why now, I am bothered by the look on Jana’s face. I may not be able to experience romantic love but I earn lots of love from my friends and ex-friends.
"Penny for your thought my wife?" Malambing na tanong ng aking asawa.
Aking asawa. Until now I can't believe that I am Mrs. Ottave now.
"Jana." Tangi kong sinagot.
Napabuntong hininga ito. "Hon please, stop thinking about her, okay?"
I bit my lower lip. "How can you do that?"
Kumunot ang noo niya. "What do you mean?"
"Ang umarte na parang ayos lang ang lahat. Na normal lahat ang nangyayari. Na parang walang Jana na nasasaktan."
He faced me. "Look Mara, we both knew that this is our destiny. We have more than a decade to prepare ourselves for this. It's not that I don't care about Jana. Of course, I do. Jana is one of the best things that happened to me."
Hindi ko alam pero bigla akong may naramdamang kirot sa aking kaliwang dibdib.
One of the best things that happened in his life. What about me then?
"Hon please let's move on and be happy with our new life now hmm?" Malambing nitong sabi.
I just look at him. I can't read nor understand him. Why is he so cool about it? If he loves Jana, why did he not even try to fight for their love? And why is he acting like a loving husband who is very in love with his wife?
"Come here hon."
He pulled me and hug me tight.
"Don't overthink, okay?" Pag aalo nito.
Para pa rin akong tuod na walang reaksyon habang yakap yakap niya.
He faced me. "And we should enjoy our honeymoon now hon." Then he winked.
Namula ako sabay tingin sa suite namin. It looks very romantic but because of Jana and Maru, I wasn't able to appreciate the view.
The room is full of red rose petals. A king size bed that has a towel that forms heart-dove. The light made the room more romantic.
Maru pulled my hand and brought me to the glass window. I was taken aback when I felt him on my back, hugging me. I can feel his breath from my neck.
"It feels nice." He spoke.
I look at him. He looks happy.
Is he?
Then he gave a quick kiss on my lips.
"I told you hon to stop overthinking. You are spoiling our honeymoon."
I let a heavy sighed. "Sorry."
"Apology accepted. So now Mrs. Ottave may I have this dance?" Anyaya nito.
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Nasaan ang music?"
He chuckled and showed me his iPod and put one earpiece on my ear and the other one on his and start to dance.
(Music)
If there were no words
No way to speakI would still hear youIf there were no tearsNo way to feel insideI'd still feel for youI just close my eyes and rested on his chest.
(Music)
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhymeYou would still have my heartUntil the end of timeYou're all I need, my love, my ValentineI felt his lips kissing my head.
"Please stop overthinking and be happy with me." He muttered.
(Music)
All of my life
I have been waiting forAll you give to meYou've opened my eyesAnd shown me how to love unselfishly"I am true to my vow to you." He said while looking at me.
(Music)
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn't love you moreI will give you my heartUntil the end of timeYou're all I need, my love, my Valentine"Me too." I answered him.
(Music)
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhymeYou would still have my heartUntil the end of time'Cause all I need is you, my ValentineYou're all I need, my love, my Valentine"That's great Mrs. Ottave."
Then everything became slow motion. I can barely hear the music. I felt his lips with mine. Kissing me with passion and gentleness. And I find myself responding to him.
He gently removes our ear piece without breaking our kiss.
Slowly we went to our bed, still kissing me. And then I felt his hand on my back.
And I knew that tonight I will be giving myself to my husband.
---
It felt so good feeling his warmth.I found myself smiling while looking at my husband's face.
My husband.
I suddenly felt myself blush to remember what happened last night.
I still can't believe that I already gave myself to him.
"Morning wife." I open my eyes when I hear him speaks. His eyes are still close though.
Bigla niya akong hinatak at niyakap. "Ahhh Maru!"
"I prefer your moaned last night wife."
Lalo akong namula sa narinig ko. Hindi ko na napigilan na hampasin siya.
"Can you stop?!" Naiinis at nahihiya kong sabi.
He chuckled. "How are you feeling hon? Feeling sore?"
Hindi ko na yata mabilang kung ilang beses ako namula sa kahihiyan dahil sa lalaking katabi ko.
He is right though, I'm still sore down there. But I knew that this feeling is normal for a first timer.
Napabalik ako sa realidad ng maramdaman ko ang mumunting halik galing kay Maru. Then he kisses my neck to my jaw to my lips.
I tried to break the kiss. "Maru hindi ka ba napapagod?"
He kisses me again. "No wife. I just woke up, that's why I have full of energy for you again."
"Maru!" But he won't budge.
"I can't get enough of you wife." Malambing na sabi nito.
"But I'm hungry." Palusot ko.
Tumaas ang kaliwang kilay niya "Really?"
Tango lang ang sagot ko rito.
"Okay hon. I will let you win this time because I know you’re still sore but next time no more excuses, okay?" He said the he gave me a quick kiss.
Napangiti naman ako at tumango.
I never expected this kind of marriage. I wonder if all arrange marriage is like this. Are my parents also like this when they got married?
A month has passed, and now we are celebrating our very first monthsary as husband and wife.And it’s far from my imagination.I thought that it will be hard for the both of us to start a life as a married couple. But thanks to my husband, he made our first month as smooth and wonderful as possible.It felt like we want this to happen.From: Maru'See you later wife! Happy 1st monthsary! ❤️'Napangiti ako ng mabasa ko ang text message ni Maru.I didn't know that he is a sweet guy. Kung sabagay at nagkaroon na ito ng girlfriend.Ganito rin kaya siya kasweet kay Jana?Bigla akong nakaramdam ng lungkot sa naisip ko na iyon.'Will you stop being nega Mara?!'' Pagalit ko sa aking sarili.But I can't help it. At yun ang m
Hindi pa rin maalis ang ngiti sa aking mga labi sa tuwing naalala ko kung paano namin nicelebrate mag asawa ang first monthsary namin. Grabe first monthsary pa lang ganun na kabongga what more pa sa first year anniversary namin?!And to thank him for last night, nag leave muna ako sa trabaho ngayon para ipagluto ng lunch ang aking asawa ko.I wanted to surprise him kaya naman hindi ko sinabi sa kanya ang balak ko na pag punta sa opisina niya. Nang pumasok ako sa building ng asawa ko ay halos lahat ng tao roon ay bumabati sa akin. Nilibot ko ng tingin ang loob ng building na ito. It’s actually my first time to be here. Mabuti nga at nakilala ako kaagad ng mga empleyado dito. Masyado kasi akong naging abala sa trabaho kaya hindi ako agad nakabisita rito. Kaya naman hindi ko na pinalampas ang araw na ito.Excited na rin akong makita ang asawa ko sa opisina niya. Kung an
Ayoko ko pa sanang umuwi, inaamin ko na sobra akong nadisappoint sa nalaman ko kanina.Umasa kasi ako.Umasa na baka kahit paano ay maging tulad ng isang normal na pamilya ang mangyari sa amin ni Maru.But who am I kidding right? We all know that there's no love in us. And he is in love with someone else.Akala ko kasi kaya kong palitan ang taong yun kay Maru, pero hindi pala.Kahit kasal na kami ay siya pa rin... siya pa rin ang mahal niya.Hindi ko na namalayan ang luhang tumutulo sa aking mga mata.I felt pain in my chest, and this pain is very familiar to me. I felt the same pain when I found out about my parent's view on my existence.FlashbackI was about to go to my parent's room when I heard them arguing.
Naalimpungatan ako ng maramdaman ko na may mahigpit na nakayap sa akin."Shhh" bulong nito."Let me hug you wife. I miss you. I miss my sweet and caring wife." Bulong nito at lalo pang humigpit ang yakap nito.I just let him be.After that night, I became cold and distant. We haven't made love -- or should I say sex since then.Hindi ko rin alam pero parang bigla akong naging manhid.Hindi ko rin naman kayang magpanggap na maayos kami, dahil pareho naming alam na hindi. Kaya naman nanatili na lang akong cold at distant sa kanya.He always tries to approach me but I just can't. Kung pwede lang ay umalis sa bahay na iyon at lumayo sa kanya ay ginawa ko na. Kaso ay hindi pwede. Mag asawa na kami kaya kailangan kong manatili sa tabi niya.Lagi din niyang sinasabi na wala si
At dahil naka-leave kami sa trabaho ay tinanghali na kami ng gising.Maru cook brunch for us.Honestly, I don't know what to do now. All I know is that I need to agree on whatever he wants to do so that he will stop bugging me, but now I have to guard my heart.It’s crystal clear that this marriage is just for business. Nothing more, nothing less."Penny for your thoughts wife?"Maru’s question made me back to reality."Nothing." Matipid kong sagot dito."Are you still thinking about me and Jana? Believe-"Di ko na siya pinatapos. "Stop explaining Maru. We are so done with that topic."Huminga siya ng malalim. "Okay. But what's bugging
I decided to extend my leave to meet my best friend, Alex.I miss him. He is my only guy bestfriend. Kaya ng magtapat siya ng nararamdaman sa akin noon ay gusto ko talaga na siya ay bigyan ng chance pero alam ko naman na sa huli kami pa rin ang mahihirapan.Sa totoo lang kung ako ang papipiliin, mas pipiliin ko si Alex kaysa kay Maru. Bakit? Mas kilala at mas kumportable ako kay Alex, higit sa lahat mahal ako ni Alex at alam kong hindi malabong matutunan ko rin siyang mahalin.Napabalik ako sa realidad ng maramdaman ko na may yumakap mula sa aking likod."I miss you!" He whispered.Nilingon ko siya at napangiti. "I miss you too! Hindi ka na galit?""Pupuntahan ba kita kung galit pa ko? Namiss talaga kita Mara!" Sabi nito na mas lalo pang hinigpitan ang yakap.Just like the old times. Kaya naman noon halos lahat ay napagkakamalan kam
Simula ng gabing yun ay naging maayos na kaming mag asawa.Unti-unti ay bumabalik na kami sa dati.I wanted to give our marriage a chance lalo na at madadagdagan na kami.Hinaplos ko ang aking tiyan.I can't explain the joy that I felt when I found out awhile ago that I'm pregnant.Ilang araw na kasi akong nahihilo at nasusuka. Noong una ay akala ko na dahil sa stress na nangyayari sa amin ni Maru. Pero ng mapansin ko na tila delayed yung period ko ay kinutuban na ako.Kaya kanina ay bumili ako ng pregnancy test. At doon ko nakupirma na buntis nga ako.Napahawak ako sa mumunti kong tiyan."Baby" I called my child."Thank you for coming into my life. Hindi ka pa man lumalabas ay mahal na mahal na mahal
Simula ng malaman ni Maru ang pagbubuntis ko ay naging mas maalaga at maingat na siya. Minsan nga ang OA na. But I will not deny the fact that I like what he is doing now.I feel so loved and complete.And how I wish that all of this is true.I always long for love. Sometimes, I wish that Maru and I will end up loving each other, though I know for a fact that it will be impossible to happen.Nevertheless, I am very thankful to God, that He gave me this great blessing.My baby, my love.Sa kanya ko ibubuhos ang lahat-lahat ng pagmamahal ko.I was busy with my own world, when I saw my husband enterin