It hurts

Chapter Four

I quietly followed Gale to the third floor with the elevator. He didn't say anything and neither did I.

Silence roamed around us and I kept my self to my thoughts. I was still wondering on what am going to say.

I can't tell him that I love him yet, am not brave enough but being in love with him gave me a smile.

It felt beautiful and weird.

We walked down the corridor past rooms, some open and others closed.

I read a sign on the wall saying Cardiac ward and I smiled. Even though Gale owned the hospital, he still came to this department.

He loved hearts a lot, any anything that resolves around them and I loved wars.

I remembered the news I had got earlier, and bit hard on my bottom lip. It wasn't time yet but will I get the chance to tell.

We reached a certain door and Gale pushed it open, walking in.

I stood rooted outside, shifting my cross bag to the front. My eyes roamed the inside, it was painted yellow.

There was a medical bed and then an office desk at the other end, there was a board on the wall next to the bed and it was filled with medical barbers.

I never thought that his office would be this big.

I noticed Gale looking at me patiently as he leaned against his office desk.

I took a step forward and walked inside.

" Why are you here, Amelia ?" Gale asked as his looked away. His voice was soft as always and how could I blame him.

"I wanted to talk " I whispered softly lowering my eyes. "I want us to talk about all this, that's going on "

" There's nothing to talk about Amelia, nothing exists between us anymore "

" But Gale... "

" Am getting married... "

My eyes snapped up to him and I took a step back. I felt my hopes and excitement crush instantly.

"When... " I whispered, my vision blurred and I lowered my eyes quick.

I remembered when he confessed his feelings to me but I guess it was a lie. He didn't bother to wait and see if I may change my mind anytime soon.

I realized that I didn't even want to know his wedding date.

" I will leave... " I replied and my voice croaked.

"Mel... Are you okay "

I avoided his eyes "yeah am fine " but deeply I was not okay.

I turned to leave but stopped when I heard his next words.

" I knew you could never love me the way I love you Amelia and It hurts. I agreed to this marriage to make my mom happy but deep inside I hope it helps me forget you "

I felt like a knife was cutting through my heart, I wanted to tell Gale that I love him but the words failed to come out.

I didn't feel brave enough to do this, I was just giving up on us without trying.

"Am so sorry " I whispered, lifting my eyes to him. I didn't what to say anything that may sound as an excuse for hurting him.

I felt like approaching him and hold him tight, but I knew that I had no right to do that.

" I never wanted to hurt you " A tear streamed down my face and I lowered my eyes guiltily.

Seeing Gale like this hurt made me hate my self more, I had ruined everything.

I had ruined our friendship, I realized that I could never fix this.

I sobbed harder, hiding my face behind my palms.

Gale's strong arms wrapped me and I leaned in to him, taking in his cologne.

I felt so afraid that this might be the last day I see him and I didn't want that to happen.

I lifted my teary face, my green eyes locking with his brown eyes.

" Will I ever see you again ?" I whispered softly.

Gale held my cheek in his palm and I leaned into the warmth.

" Yes doll, I just need some time " he replied my eyes locking deep with his.

" I'll to miss you " I whispered as we held our gazes, suddenly I started to feel exposed.

My heart accelerated and my legs felt so weak to stand, his arms tightened around me and a shivered rushed down my spine.

"Can I kiss you ? "

In haled sharply as Gale's words sunk in.

Words seemed stuck somewhere in my throat and my lips throbbed, I stepped on my tip toes locking my hands behind his neck.

I saw the surprised and shocked look on his face, and heat crept up my cheeks.

"Amelia..." I didn't wait for him to finish and crashed my lips on his.

Gale gasped in shock and I felt my body shudder.

I moaned passionately, I could feel the pain and hurt through Gale's roughness. My fingers curled around his hair, I pulled away when I was starting to feel breathless.

I gasped for breath, my eyes flew open. I looked at Gale and my heart drummed harder against my chest.

I loved him and more than I know.

Gale's eyes remained closed, his cheeks flashed and his lips were parted a bit.

I wanted him to open his eyes and look at me but t was pulled back to reality when his eyes slipped away from me.

I felt cold and numb as I watched him step away from me.

" Please leave " He asked, I didn't say anything.

I turned around and left the room, I felt like a piece of me was being left behind.

I wanted to turn to him and tell him that I will always be there for him but I stopped my self.

I stood silently in the corridor my body felt so heavy to move.

I held on to the walls as sobs shook my body violently.

It hurt so much, I felt like my heart was being dragged out of me.

My fingers moved over my swollen lips and I slid down the wall.

"Amelia " someone called making me look up in tears, I saw Rebecca run towards me, I guess she was also here to check up on Gale.

"What happened Amy ?" Rebecca asked as she squat next to me holding me close, I had no reply to give but just broke down and cried. It hurt so much.

I just couldn't believe that Gale was getting married, I regretted reacting the way I did a week ago.

Why did I have to realize my feelings when it's late, I would have claimed him but I also didn't want him to break his mom's heart.

I can't even stop the man I love from marrying another person. Rebecca kept whispering soothing words to me in order to calm me down but I didn't think it was working. This was the first she had seen me like this, I don't blame her for trying. I knew I was a mess.

I slowly pulled away from her, and she stared at me with those intense eyes that were sad with curiosity. " I have to go home " I whispered, and she nodded not wanting to push me to explain but I knew that this day won't end without me telling her what's going on.

"I will go with you, then come back later " she whispered, I guess now she was so eager to meet Gale and fire questions at him.

She whispered helping me to get up, I kept my silence through the whole journey until we were out of the hospital.

I watched as she hailed for a cab. I stayed silent and wrapped my hands around my self, it had suddenly gone cold for me.

"Amy " Rebecca whispered and I turned to look at her, she pointed towards the cab and I nodded.

Following behind her I stepped inside after her and closed the door. I look out of the window as we drove off, my eyes pinned on the busy streets as if a single sight of them was comforting enough.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to Rebecca who was looking at me with worry.

"Amy " She whispered and I bit on the bottom lips to stop myself from sobbing out loud again.

I never knew that love hurt this much until now,I was pulled into a tight hug which I agreed to, tears kept flowing nonstop no matter how much I tried to rub them away they just came faster.

" It hurts so much " I whispered. I knew she couldn't understand what I was talking about, but she held me, soothingly patting my back, I sobbed quietly.

Finally, I pulled away rubbing my eyes, I knew she deserved to know and I also wanted to let it out. I felt like I was suffocating deep in me, my heart felt like it was about to burst.

I looked through the cab window again, lifting my hand and touching my lips. I remembered that last kiss, the passion, hurt and all the emotions Gale made me see through it.

My eyes fell shut and I whimpered, the way he had looked at me with his hands wrapped around me. How am I going to stay away after all this.

I know that kiss was a goodbye and it hurt so much.

"Gale is getting married "I whispered, those words cutting through me like sharp knives.

I heard Rebecca gasp I wasn't sure if it was shock, surprise or something else.

"Really " She whispered, you could hear the excitement in her voice. I know she loved Gale as a brother and would definitely be happy for him.

"Oh my God, to whom?" I turned to look at her and her smile dropped.

" Amy that's good news right? Then why are you sad "

I looked down at my fingers and whispered the kind of words, I never thought in a million times I would say them when it comes to Gale.

"Because I love Gale but then I am late " With that last I looked away again.

I didn't want to see her look at me with pity

" Does he love you ?" She questioned calmly and I looked at her again before nodding.

I started to explain every detail starting from that evening he confessed how he felt to me and my actions then today through sobs and tears.

The cab came to a halt in front of my apartment building and I stepped out. I waited for Rebecca since she decided to pay for us. I heard no energy left to fight with her about this.

As I turned to walk inside expecting her to follow, but she didn't.

" You love Gale and he loves you right?" I nodded to her question " then what's stopping you from being with him ?" she added and I froze my eyes going wide.

I finally turned to her, giving her my full attention, a few two or more people turned us but soon lost interest and walked away.

I pondered on what Rebecca had just said, wondering if she heard the marriage part.

She took a step towards me, looking at me with those dark eyes. " He can say no to this marriage for you if he truly loves you... "

"What about his mom ?" I interrupted and she shook her head.

" Gale's mom can understand Amelia, if you really love him as you say then go back there and tell him What is stopping you ?" I looked at Becca and rethought what she had just said, was I just making this hard yet it is simple.

I remembered the pain of not having parents through my whole childhood, the torture of being called an orphan.

I didn't want Gale to fight with his mom, she is all he got.

"I think I should leave it as it is " I whispered and Becca glared at me.

"Amy..."

"I know what you're going to say, that I am a coward for not telling him how I feel and it's not because I am afraid of relationships. I was willing to try for him but this thing between us can't happen, maybe that's why reality made me realize my love for him this late " I mumbled on about every reason I could think of that's holding me back.

I noticed Rebecca looking at me waiting for me to continue with a good reason.

I didn't think I would be able to tell her more, I just to forget about all this.

I slowly turned around and took the stairs then through the glass doors, I headed for my room yearning for my bed.