It was payday for both Karmen and Elise, and money animated apartment 2B like winds in the sails of a three-masted ship. It was mostly Elise's payment plus two weeks pay from Karmen, but it meant the end of $9.50 per person per week, and it seemed like a fortune.
Since the cash was enormous, I didn't feel bad about spending two hours filling my basket with exactly the right foods according to the Cooking for Dummies, which I bought, too. In fact, by the time I got all that stuff home, I realized I had missed another day of job hunting. Well, that could wait until tomorrow.
I wanted to make a nice dinner for my best friends, seeing that they had been doing all the work. I figured I'd make some hamburgers. Then I settled on roast chicken for dinner. The cookbook said, 'Nuke the chicken in the m
It was Wednesday, the slowest day of the week, still too far from the weekend. I was sitting in the Deli having lunch with Elise when Karmen burst in, wild-eyed. She stomped up to our booth and sat down so loudly I was fearful for her tailbone. None of us said anything, so she stood up again and bellowed, "Well, if you must know, I got fired!""I'm not surprised," Elise said and went on to sip her lemonade. I tried to be empathic."What happened?" I asked. Celie came and placed some ice in our drink."Good news," she said. "If you're fired, here have some ice for the burn.""Leave her alone!" I exploded. Karmen slumped down again, resting her head on top of her folded arms like grade-school girls do during detention.
Gourmet Week was a resounding success across the street. Suddenly, our seedy little neighborhood was the hottest spot in town, just as we'd envisioned in the summer. Cars, even a few limos, were double-parked on all the side streets, and customers lined up around the block to get into, not Celie's Deli, but Monica's, her business rival across the street.It was driving Celie crazy."I can't stand it! It's more than a person can bear!" Celie grumbled. "The mere mention of Gourmet Week makes me sick. That woman charges ten dollars for a lousy bowl of pumpkin soup. She charges twenty for two chicken wings and five just to walk in the door and listen to stupid music! She's a criminal! She should be put on the electric chair!"We ate all our meals in the deli, serving ourselves since Celie
I was prepared for life in the big city, but nothing can prepare a girl for anything like real life itself. In fantasy books, the warrior princess knows how much food she will take with her. What sort of monsters she will slay. Should she trust the witch or burn her? It seemed every moment of the journey she had to make a life-and-death decision, but at least, her life sounded more exciting than mine.On Friday, I went down to the deli to see if I could borrow some eggs from Celie for my first business launch."'Neither a borrower nor a lender be', Miss. Kononovich. Fifty cents per egg.""What? You charge higher than the supermarket," I said."They're organic," she replied with a shrug. "You don't plan to giv
Because I didn't have a potty mouth like the previous proprietor, the deli was fairly quiet the next day. Celie's apron was replaced by a small petal pink one. Elise bought it for me so that I didn't look like a burrito in Celie's. Fifteen minutes after the opening, destruction had found its way into the grill and was on fire. The Lovebirds and the Pole Dancer helped me put the flames out. It took some squealing and struggling and cursing before the fire stopped.I returned to my eggs, waffles, and pancakes. Some people had to wait a little longer than usual, but I made it through breakfast just fine. I told everyone that Celie was on vacation in the Caribbean, and the Jogging Grandma promised to spread the word around the building to back me up. I'm not usually a lair, but my conscience just couldn't handle telling them that I was the cause of her being hospitalized.
Karmen got fired from the publishing company. The charges were laziness and inappropriate dressing. In her defense, she said that the boss tried to hit on her multiple times and was pissed that she threatened to report him. Karmen was not one to succumb to patriarchal pressure in the workplace and could have won the lawsuit if she wanted. Not many people knew that she held a law degree, but she said she hated the job anyway, so she quit.Instead of throwing herself into the want ads, she put on the apron and came down to the deli with me."It did bring back the old days working for Celie," she said. "But now I work for you.""This is Celie's business we're running, and we're here because we put her in the hospital," I said. "I'm not the boss here, and you're not
Ihad trouble getting to sleep that night, even though I was really drained from the day's activities. Last time I checked, Clarice Kingsley was positively dating my two best friends. Karmen and Elise were both warring against each other to impress her. If they had figured out that I quite casually slipped and got myself tangled up in the web of Clarice's charm and allure, the biggest mess in Celie's building could very easily be my life.My routine was becoming settled. At six A.M. I'd rush down to the deli, set the coffee machine, heating up the grill, and defrosting the meat. The Pole Dancer was usually just coming home from work, so I'd mix her a double Alka-Seltzer cocktail and send her upstairs. Then I'd lock up and out for my morning walk. By the time I came back and showered, I was ready to open for the day.
Clarice's kiss haunted me all night. I had the same questions orbited around my head. Did it mean she liked me? And since when?So if she, indeed, liked me, then what? What about Karmen and Elise? Was she going to add my name to her long list of girlfriends?The thought sent a rush of anger through me like a hot wind from the Sahara desert. She couldn't just go around kissing and dating people as she pleased. Who does she think she is?Clarice didn't love me. She just wanted to play me like those two dummies I called my best friends. I was the smartest one who didn't fall right into her trap.But what if she genuinely felt something for me? I had to think of the other complicated things that would blow up in my face i
Ihad only a week to gather up the cash before the end of the month, or I could guarantee that the three of us would be homeless for real. I was hoping for Elise's modeling money to save the day, but she came at four in the morning and was greeted by two very light sleepers. One was ready to start another round of bickering while the other just waited to prevent it.Elise was carrying a big box of the Orion SkyQuest Classic Telescope. It looked expensive. It looked like the April rent. I was too frazzled for tact."You have to return it!""I couldn't do that," said Elise. "This is the last model and the company won't make another one like this again. Besides, it's already a little broken.""Are you serious?" Karm