Noo… where am I? Why am I here…? I cried inside my head while I walked in the dark corridor of this dank-smelling building. The cold floor where my naked feet walked was black with dirt and dust. The dust in the air clung to my sweaty skin and my face, which was wet with my flowing tears. My eyes had barely adjusted to the darkness but my nose could smell the mold and oldness of the building in the air.The building had been abandoned for a long time. I could feel paper on the floor and peeling paint and plaster on the wall. This place used to be an office before. Or a school? I wasn’t sure. But it was obvious it had been abandoned for a long time.I still wore my nurse’s uniform because I had just come out of my shift from the hospital, and I was sure it had become dirty from my running and from bumping into things I couldn’t see in the dark. My mom always kept my uniforms immaculate before she died.Mommy… am I going to die in a dirty uniform? Please, help. Save me! Oh my god… why a
ELISEThe apartment building was a four-storey building with one unit on each floor. My family owned the building. My mother and stepfather privately invested in real estate— renting houses and apartment buildings—and they owned several in other places. I lived here. Otherwise, I would be staying in one of the condo buildings/towers of the Von Schillers in Metro Manila. My father’s side invested in real estate, too, in partnership with the Verrazzanos. But this particular building was reserved for the family when we visited Manila.The first-floor unit was occupied by my cousin, Jason. The third-floor unit was for guests visiting from the province. The higher level on the third floor was a semi-covered deck. I kept my plants there in container boxes and big pots. On my free days, I could be found there tending to my plants or reading in my rattan hammock. We also do our barbecues there, drink there, and generally relax there at the end of the day. I was talking about me, my cousin Jas
ELISEGian was right. He was here. He was doing his best to make me feel taken care of. I didn’t know what I would have done tonight if not for him. I would still be in the hospital, drugged and asleep, having a nightmare. Granted that it was his Ex’d who did this to me, but I was sure that if I had been hurt another way, he would still be here taking care of me. Even if I tried his patience to the point that I even unintentionally reminded him of his ex-girlfriend Trina, he still would not leave me alone to fend for myself.The first sob escaped my lips.We were almost on the second floor and he was grumbling about stupid non-existent elevators and stubbornly living in apartments when I could live in a condo tower nearer work that had a freaking elevator. He paused when he heard me. He moved a shoulder so it would push my face out and he could see me. And the more I turned my face towards his chest to hide.“Elise...”
ELISE“No, no… please… Itay…!”“Elise? Elise, wake up. Wake up, baby.”I was again in that nightmare. Like the first ones, I was just a presence here, a spectator who couldn’t escape from the scene. I could see what was happening but I couldn’t feel the coldness of the pit, nor smell the smell of the earth. I wasn’t the one who was imprisoned there. But I might as well be.I wanted to escape, but I wasn’t the one who must escape. It was very dark, and inside that casket was a man. It was very dark, but I could see him as if there was moonlight inside the airless, cramped space. I could see the shadows on the plane and the curves of his face. I could see the pain and the fear. He was pushing at the wooden board on top of him, scratching at it with his fingers. Dirt was starting to
ELISEWhen I opened my eyes again, it was morning. Heavy drapes still covered the windows but a few slivers of morning light had slipped through the corners.I remembered what happened the night before from getting beaten up to my nightmare, and Gian’s comforting words before I went back to sleep. I tried to feel if I still have the heavy emotions I carried last night. Everytime I had that nightmare, I would wake up depressed. There would be a very heavy feeling in my chest, and I couldn’t get up or eat. I would cry until I could stop myself because Inay would see and worry. Then it would be dodging here until I could get to school.But the heaviness was missing. I just wished it ran away with my injuries, because I hurt like hell. My head was throbbing like crazy, and my eyes felt bloated and on fire. It was time I took my next batch of meds.“Uungh…” I moaned in both complaint and frustration. It wasn&rsqu
ELISEI started eating as soon as Alia landed steaming plates on the table, and I took my meds as soon as I had a few mouthfuls of food in my stomach so pretty soon, the pain I suffered from my injuries started to get dull, too. I told her what happened in between the bites and chews of my breakfast, but I didn’t tell her how the bitch ripped my dress and exposed my boobsies to Gian. I didn’t know why she often teased me about him. Okay, I knew. It was because Gian was hot and delicious. She would just gloss over the fact that Gian’s type were statuesque, beautiful women, not diminutive and small-boned like me. The fact that I was in proximity to someone like him was all that was enough for my romantic friend to dream that Gian would suddenly forget all his preferences and fall in love with me.So, even before I finished telling almost all of it, my poor friend was mad as hell. She was so angry that she waved her spoon and fork in the
ELISEBut of course, she’s not yet done. “Wait. What did Brandon say?” she suddenly asked.I looked at her in surprise.“I knew it. He doesn’t even know,” she exclaimed. Alia had been disappointed with Brandon since a century ago. “When was the last time he even called?”“Last week. Gian actually asked for him last night and only then did I even remember him,” I confessed. And I couldn’t even hide my sadness about this.“Son of a fairy queer…”“Alia!” I exclaimed again, shocked.“Do you really even have a boyfriend?” she demanded skeptically.I slumped further into my seat. “I don’t really even know anymore.”She sat back down in her seat. “Do you still love him?”I stopped and tried to really feel what I still feel for Brandon. “I still care for him. I a
ELISEShe laughed. Loud. Between the two of us, she seemed to know—smell was what we called it—if a guy was closet gay. I wouldn’t know unless someone outed himself already or the person was a crossdresser. I didn’t have what they call a ’radar’ for it. “Yes, he smelled straight.”I sighed, relieved. “That’s a relief,” I even said. “And it’s not because I wanted him to be, but because his father is going to kill him. And I can’t believe we’re actually talking about this.” I just couldn’t picture Brandon, who exuded all-manliness, a homosexual.But as I thought more about it, I got more depressed.“So… we’re not in love with each other anymore?”She was done and the wet dishes were on the drain dish. She pulled a towel and dried her hands as she turned towards me. “Don’t be sad. It is a very good