Chapter 2 A Future Without Me

A text from my mom lit up my phone.

"There's food in the fridge. I made it this morning. Heat it up before you eat, and remember—low fat, low oil, no seasoning."

My eyes stung as I read her message.

Ever since I was diagnosed with kidney disease, my mom had gotten up before sunrise to run her small street stall. No matter how early she left, she always made sure my breakfast was ready, carefully following the doctor's food instructions exactly.

My dad wasn't doing any better. He worked all day and made food deliveries at night, barely sleeping just to pay for my medical bills.

Then, there was Javion.

My twin brother was handsome, athletic, and talented enough to have a real chance at playing professional basketball. But because he was expected to give me a kidney, he'd spent the past ten years staying away from the sport he loved.

Sometimes, when I got up in the middle of the night, I'd find him jumping and pretending to shoot an invisible basketball alone in his room.

Someone as talented as him should be playing on the biggest courts in the world, not hiding in his bedroom and practicing shots he might never make.

The thought made my chest ache.

I put on a face mask, called a cab, and went straight to the hospital.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to stop treatment?" Dr. Samuel Wilson asked, looking at me seriously.

I picked up the pen and signed the form without hesitation. "I'm eighteen now. I can make my own medical decisions."

But just as I was about to finish writing my name, my hand began to tremble.

Of course I wanted to live. Who didn't?

I just couldn't stand the thought of my family giving up everything they had for me anymore.

If it weren't for me, my parents wouldn't have aged so rapidly. Javion wouldn't have had to give up basketball, and even Demi wouldn't have had to pause her own future.

When she applied to college last year, she picked a local university so she could stay close and help take care of me. She could have gone somewhere better, somewhere that gave her the future she'd always wanted.

Instead, she'd stayed because of me.

A tear rolled down my cheek and landed on the paper, smearing my signature.

Samuel watched me with sympathy. "Louis, you know there's a very good chance you'll recover after the transplant."

"But it's still only a chance, right?"

I forced myself to finish signing, even though my fingers wouldn't stop shaking.

"What if I don't get better? What if they spend all that money, and I still need someone to care for me for the rest of my life?"

Samuel didn't answer right away.

Over the years, he'd seen families spend all they had trying to save someone they loved, only to lose both their money and the person they tried so hard to keep alive.

"Louis Fox," he said finally, "I know why you're doing this, but you're being very cruel to yourself."

He gently took the signed refusal form from my hands.

I blinked back the tears gathering in my eyes.

We were just an ordinary family. We couldn't afford the cost of treating an illness like mine. If we might lose everything in the end anyway, wouldn't it be better to stop now, while my family still had something left?

"It's not cruel," I whispered. I held up my hand and started counting on my fingers. "My mom's back hurts whenever it rains. If I'm gone, she can use the money we've saved for my surgery to finally fix it."

I raised another finger. "My dad's leg has been hurting him for years. Without my medical bills to worry about, he can finally afford the surgery he needs."

I gulped before continuing, "And Javion... He could use the money to go to Trinity. He could play basketball again and have the future he's always dreamed of. Demi could also go to grad school in Fairmont, just like she's always wanted.

"They're all good people—smart, talented, and hardworking. They deserve to be happy, and they shouldn't have to give up their futures just to keep me alive."

…

By the time I finished, tears were running down my face.

Samuel let out a long, weary sigh. I dropped to my knees before him.

"Please," I begged. "Please don't tell my parents what I've done."

Before he could respond, the office door suddenly swung open.

"Dr. Wilson, I brought Javion's latest test results. Could you take a look and see if he's cleared for the transplant?"

I knew that voice.

It was my mom.

She stopped in the doorway when she saw me kneeling on the floor. I stood up quickly, gave Samuel a desperate look, and silently begged him not to say what I'd just done.

Then, I turned to my mom. "I'm just here to ask Dr. Wilson about my surgery."

"You selfish little bastard!"

Before I could react, she slapped me hard across the face. My head snapped to the side, my cheek stinging as I looked back at her.

My mom stood there trembling, her eyes bloodshot and filled with tears.

"Your brother is giving up his dreams to donate a kidney to you, and all you care about is getting your surgery as soon as possible? Have you stopped to think about him? Do you have any idea what this family has been through to make that surgery happen?"

Her voice grew louder, her whole body shaking with anger. "You don't know a damn thing! What did I ever do to deserve a burden like you?"