Chapter 7: Memories

Daisy

"I screamed so loudly that I'm sure our neighbours could hear. They often phoned the police for disputes. They never really saw me because I couldn't attend school much due to injuries and pain when I couldn't walk, so they assumed I was his wife or something. The police would show up and I'd be locked in my room so I try not to use locks if I can help it. They never did anything. I learnt how to stitch up wounds because more often than not, Jerry would come home and would need some form of treatment.

I didn't know what else to do with my spare time and when he would split my skin I'd spent countless hours cleaning it and attempting to stitch it but when I'm right-handed and try doing it with my left I could never get it right so I messed up."

Grabbing my hand, the same hand he examined earlier, he shakes his head and speaks. Finally.

"He stabbed you?" Antonio asks while trying to hold some form of rage in.

"Twice. The second time he was stone-cold sober actually but I'd just come home from school. I had a boyfriend at the time, I knew it wouldn't last, that relationship I mean, but my father kept bringing men home and when he mentioned selling my virtue for a good price it was a signal. I didn't want to be that girl you know...I didn't want the man to have that control over me so I went and got rid of it on a waste of space school boy but I came home 2 minutes late and he flew right at me accusing me of being a whore like my mother."

Antonio's breaths stay steady but I can see the way his leg bounces and his hands clench at his sides.

For a man who doesn't do emotions and wants nothing to do with me, he's sure sending off shitty signals of caring here.

I chuckle to myself at that but I brush it aside.

"I spent 5 days in the hospital. That was the first time I had been in hospital. Bills were racking up, electricity would get turned off and our water would be freezing for days or even weeks. My clothes were always smaller than everyone else's but I couldn't afford anything else, I couldn't even afford the basics for when it was my time of month so I resorted to stealing them. I got caught once and that's when the System put me in care. I was so happy..."

I look up at my husband and I sigh. "How sad is that? I was so happy to be put into the system that I didn't care where I would end up. I can't remember how long I was there, a few weeks maybe I'm not sure but they soon placed me back in with Jerry. They claimed he had been fighting to keep me because I was his lifeline. I knew it was bullshit but they didn't do anything after that. When I turned 17 I had been known in the ED so much that when I showed up they sent me straight to a room and Dr Loveless would do what was needed before slipping me some antibiotics and extra supplies to get me through. She attempted to help me but then stopped when Jerry threatened her and then me."

"Daisy..." he says. No emotion. Nothing to predict him caring any more than the average Joe. I'm used to being alone. Me and C.J. Got so used to being alone that being in each other's company were the only times we loved being awake.

"You want to know why you got a faulty gift so I'm telling you straight. On my 21st birthday, I got a card from my mother. I was so happy and yet so upset. My brain asked a million questions, 'Why did she leave me?' or 'Was I not enough for her?' Said she wanted to see me, and told me it had to be without Jerry so I did. I went to the location she provided but Jerry followed me and then ran her over. He kept her alive long enough to know why she contacted me, why she left and what she wanted now and that was before he hurt her. He struck me after that and it's been that same cycle since I was a child. I have the physical and mental scars of everything he's done."

I carry on with my admission on my life while he sits there and stares right at me.

"He would rack up so much debt that I would be the one to get the brunt end of the stick and believe when I say that you're not the only one who knocked on our door. When he got in trouble he would sell me out and then claim to give a shit when I paid whoever it was. I hate drunks and drugs and I know that you work on those lines and I don't care okay? I know what you want from me and I will provide it to you as long as you just leave whatever I have said in here between me and you"

I finally let out a breath of relief when I finished what I had to say. I didn't notice that he was still holding my hand.

"Fuck..." is all he says before he pulls me over to him. I'm seated on his lap when I feel his hands trail over my dress and undo the buttons before stroking up and down some of the burn marks and belt marks on my body. They've all healed but you can feel the lumps from where they've been.

"You're a book geek right?"

"I tell you everything I have never told anyone but my best friend and you ask me if I'm a book geek?"

I go to get off his lap feeling like this was all some kind of joke to him when he pulls me back to him and holds me close.

If anyone walked in here right now they would assume I have such a loving husband and he's only trying to make me feel good but I'm actual fact he's trying to power play me.

"Let me go, Antonio" I say wiggling from his hold.

"Daisy.. do not do that unless you're going to be sorting the problem out" he grunts as he keeps me still. I know exactly what problem he's talking about but I've only ever slept with 3 people and I'm not even sure if I enjoyed it or not and I have never stayed the night with a male either so all of this is new territory for me.

"I'm asking you that because I saw you worked in a library. Each time I've looked into your photos on social media I'm looking at you holding a different book. I was going to say there's a bookstore in town where I want to take you tomorrow after training if we have the time." he says but I can't relax around him even when he is talking softly to me about books.

"A bookstore?"

"Yes. It's big and it's got any book you'd ever want there. If you are so big on chilling and being antisocial and you love to read and sit by fireplaces then I'll take you there."

"Training?" I ask because I never signed anything that would tell me I'll be training with them. Then again, I never signed anything anyway. I'm sure it will come about at some point soon.

"Yes. You're a woman who's been through shit. Enough to last you a lifetime and I won't always be here to protect you. You'll have your own guards but other than that I need to know you can protect yourself. I'm not going to argue with you about it. You'll simply do it" he grunts out.

I raise a single eyebrow his way and I'm just about to open my mouth when he puts his fingers there to silence me.

"No more tonight. Tonight I'm going to fuck my wife because I have done nothing but wait for this"

I laugh at his emphasis on 'waiting' like he couldn't go out and get any woman he wanted.

"Yeah sure" I mutter under my breath which doesn't sit right with him. He pulls my chin towards him and kisses me like I've never been kissed before.

He undoes my dress the rest of the way and stands up. I slide down his front while he unbuttons his clothes and lets it all drop to the floor until he's in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs and holy shit on a Bicycle.

He's like a Greek god in an Italian man's body.

"Like something you see Princess?"

Usually, I'd be embarrassed about looking at someone but with him, I can't look away. I don't even know the man.

"Tattoos," I say so calmly and in my own world while staring right at him. He chuckles into the semi-darkness, the only light that's on is the two bedside lights.

"Why is it tradition to do this?" I ask

"Years ago it used to be a virgin bride. They would want to see the blood on the sheets the next morning to prove their love to one another but now it's just tradition to have sex the night of the wedding. Usually, the bride is too wasted to give a shit but you...my wife...will know exactly how I feel in the morning when I have done several rounds with you."

"You're very... big-headed aren't you?" I say with a smile. The smile comes out more like a grimace but if he notices he doesn't say anything.

"I'm big in all departments Mi Amor"

I turn around to try and stop the blush from showing but to my luck it doesn't, I can feel the heat of his comment. When Antonio approaches me from behind I feel him trace the tattoo on my back.

"What is it meant to be?"

"It's a tree of life. Half of it is where I have bloomed into something new, Where I feel happy and the memories of the past have been just that...a memory, it represents a new life and a new meaning and the other half is where my past life had taken me to a dark and unearthed place. It's where my restored energy came from. To give me a second chance" I rush out. The words form a case of verbal diarrhoea but he doesn't seem to care. He just keeps tracing the lines and design all the way down my back.

Weeks ago he was adamant on this being loveless. He would be faithful and he would satisfy whatever I needed physically and he would take care of me financially but right here...right now this feels more like a Romantic partner.

He kisses along my back, tracing my tattoo and up to my shoulder blades, my dress now long gone, a pile of cloth at the end of my feet.

Standing here in a matching white lace bra and panties with a garter belt which was already waiting for me this morning, I can't help but hold my arms over my body in a form of self-awareness on how I look.

I've never been a self-conscious woman before but knowing my husband has been with supermodels and any other woman he wanted only makes me feel insecure.

I have meat, and I have a little bit of a belly, not a lot of fat but food is my comfort zone when I'm stressed or especially when I'm on my period which...will be soon I think.

After a few moments my body begins to relax and we walk over to the bed where he gently places me before climbing on top of me.

"Are you nervous princess?"