Chapter 5

I nodded, realising that I could have trusted him with how I felt, though because my sisters had never requested such a thing from their guardians, I was afraid to ask, to entrust him with my feelings. Although now I see that my actions were foolish and rash. “I’m sorry guardian, it is only that I did not know how you would react and no other princess has ever requested such a thing; so I did not believe it to be possible. I had been contemplating it for a while.”

“I do not need to hear your excuses; I only ask that you come to me about anything that is an issue. Do you understand?” Derrick questioned, releasing his grasp on my chin.

I nodded as my guardian took a step back, believing his words to be reasonable; if I would have told him about my wishes then there would not have been an issue, only instead, I went behind his back and did as I pleased. This is not how things work, not how things have ever worked. 

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I began to speak after a moment of silence, pushing my coppery hair over my shoulder; my tone light and low. “Guardian ... Are you going to tell my father?”

“If your father hears the gossip or if you begin to disobey any further orders, then I will speak to him about it. But until then, this stays between us.” Derrick informed me blandly, his piercing amber eyes almost appearing business-like; just as they did when he greeted the council. 

I tilted my head in curiosity, wondering why he used such a tone against me; such a distant and unloving way of telling me that my secret is safe as long as I abide by the rules and laws that had been set in place. I knew that his heart held no care for any of the men on the council, their words harbouring no care or truth. Unlike Derrick and I, they were fake; only remaining by my father’s side to keep the comforts of having a place beside the king, using him to get the power and greed that all of them craved.

So then, why use the exact tone against me, the lifeless gaze that showed no affection? Perhaps this time I had stepped over the line, awoken something in my guardian that caused him to turn away as he did, to blank my presence as if I were not there; to hate me in such a manner that made my heart sink. Did he loath me as he did them? Had I caused one of the only people I truly cared for to lose all affection for me?

I jumped, recoiling back a step when he turned to look at me; a strange glint in his eye. Something that would send fear rushing into the mind of even the most fearless of people, something ... Dark, unnatural. Taking a soothing breath, I looked closer; pushing the fear that had began to surface back into the far corners of my mind, my smile appearing flawless; my eyes showing no feeling. 

Derrick spoke slowly, a flawless smile of his own appearing in the corners of his mouth; the man I knew as my guardian slowly reappearing behind the strange darkness, the evil that I couldn’t explain. His tone appearing light and pleasant, “Now Sanctus, we must leave to see your father soon, please; continue with drying your hair.”

I nodded mutely, thinking of my reply with care as my mind persisted in focusing on his glare; knowing that it was behind the gleaming smile that played on his lips. I began to speak slowly, once again placing my hands before me and entwining my fingers together, a subtle act of my standing in the kingdom. “Yes guardian, I have wasted much time already, I’m afraid that we mustn’t keep father waiting any longer than we have to.”

Derrick bobbed his head, carefully adjusting his shirt before speaking; his eyes filled with a hatred I could never understand. “No, we mustn’t. Hurry off with you.”

I turned away from my guardian as he left the room, quickly grabbing a small comb from the vanity mirror; tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I moved to begin combing my hair as I forced my breathing to slow, my heart continuously thumping against my ribcage in a panicked movement. Strange, I had seen that look very rarely, most when we were in the presence of others around the castle; but never towards me, nor as brutally as it had shown moments earlier. 

I moved with the grace of my sisters as I twirled my mass of coppery hair into a tight plait, the length cascading over my shoulder as it sat just bellow my breast; keeping it in place with a simple black hair tie wrapped around the end of the twisted style. I smiled truthfully at my reflection in the vanity mirror, my baby blue eyes locked onto the plat in awe, each twist of my hair reminding me of my mother. Of how she often wore her hair in the style I did now, no one else in the kingdom daring such a simple look. 

I finished quickly, just as my guardian had instructed, silently following him down the winding halls on the castle; my mind replaying the strange glint in his eye over and over. Unable to let the unnatural feeling that plagued my every thought go. I would have to find the meaning behind it somehow. Behind the predatory hunger that moulded into his actions on occasion, changing his behaviour in a drastic and chaotic manner. Perhaps he had a secret of his own, something that he did not wish to share. Not even with me.