Chapter Four: The shape of an untold thing

NADIA'S POV

“Nadia? I'm waiting outside your hotel. We're still going to the airport together, right?”

Morning had brought with it the bitterness of making decisions.

My phone pressed to my ear, I listened to the voice of Bobbi as she reminded me that my flight was due in an hour.

On the bed was the contact card I had received from the receptionist the previous night; the only link to which I could see the technician again.

I stared at the contact card and at that moment, I found myself questioning my life and everything I had ever believed in.

“Nadia? Are you there?”

Bobbi's voice told me that time wasn't on my side either.

What exactly was I doing? Why was I going in search of a man whom I didn't even know? If he wanted me the same way I wanted him, wouldn't he have come to the hotel, at least?

“Nadia?”

“I'm sorry, Bobbi, I think something's wrong with the signal. Let me call you back, alright?”

I ended the call and proceeded to pack my clothes which hung in the wardrobe into the duffle bag and the box I used for my travelling.

In five minutes, I was done packing and ready to check out.

My eyes fell on the contact card again, and I grabbed it, sighing as I flung it into the waste bin. On second thought, I retrieved it, then slipped it into my purse.

As long as the card remained in my purse, it would serve as a reminder that the afternoon with the technician had happened. An afternoon I wanted to regret desperately but knew I never would.

I checked out of the hotel, paying hurriedly.

As I began to leave, I stopped on second thought, raising a finger to gain the receptionist’s attention again.

“Is there a problem, Miss?”

“No…I mean, not exactly. Did someone come looking for me yesterday?” The receptionist shook her head in the negative. “And what about this morning?”

The reply was still the same, no-one had come looking for me.

As I left the hotel, I stole one last glance at it. I was never going to forget what had happened there, ever.

Bobbi, who had a knack for packing a lot of stuff whenever she travelled, had already called an Uber, which was parked next to her.

Smiling at her apologetically, I placed my duffle bag and the box I had been carrying inside the trunk.

“Are you going to explain what happened yesterday, or do I have to continue assuming and making things up in my head?”

“I had to clarify something at home…” I lied, knowing that there was no other explanation for running out of the hall when your favourite author was handing out her autographs and signed books.

Bobbi opened the door for me worriedly.

“Is everything okay now? Anything wrong with Marlowe or the kids?”

“Yes, yes, everything's fine. It was a bill problem. Apparently I already paid, but it wasn't recorded. It's nothing, really.”

Bobbi closed the door, then proceeded to bring out two copies of Melissa Xan's novel from her handbag.

“Well, don't ever say I've done nothing for you.”

I grabbed a copy, grinning in disbelief.

“She signed two copies for you?”

“She didn't.” Bobbi replied matter of factly as the Uber began to pick up speed, “I got back in the queue for you.”

I hugged her, guilt eating me up because I knew that the least she deserved was knowing about my secret.

“Thank you, Bobbi.”

She nodded, quickly launching into how she had managed to take a selfie with Melissa.

__________

Marlowe was waiting for me directly outside the airport, standing next to his old blue Ford.

His eyes twinkled with delight as he hugged me, a smile spreading across his red face.

“How are you?”

Without waiting for me to answer the question, he grabbed the luggage from my hands, proceeding to dunk them into the trunk.

When he opened the passenger door for me, my insides crumpled in guilt. I looked away as I entered the car, suddenly thinking about the card I had put in my purse earlier.

As soon as we were in the comfort and privacy of the car, he leaned in for a kiss, closing his eyes as he did so. Unable to withstand the guilt that I knew would tear me apart later on, I kissed him hurriedly, trying to hold his gaze after the kiss because I knew the kiss was supposed to be better than that.

But that was the problem.

How was I going to go from being kissed by a very good kisser to managing my husband's terrible kisses?

“How was the conference?” He backed away from the airport and into the road, his eyes barely leaving my face.

“Same old, same old. Well, one thing stood out, I finally got a Melissa signed book.”

“What?” He asked with wide eyes as he struggled to focus completely on the road. “You've been fighting for a Melissa Xan signed book for years, Nadia. You deserve this.”

I shrugged, knowing that there was more. “More” that I was never going to reveal.

I sat up in the passenger seat as the car neared the house I had come to call home for the past fifteen years.

My children, Nancy and Anderson seemed to be practically waiting on the front porch because as soon as the car parked, they came out of the door flying, their faces lit with smiles.

“Welcome home mum!” Nancy squeezed me in a hug that made me remember she was growing quickly, while Anderson hugged us from behind, his long limbs doing all the work.

“We've missed you.” Anderson began, then proceeded to add, “I mowed the lawn, mum, see!”

Marlowe laughed as he dragged my luggage from the trunk.

“He only did that because he broke the coffee machine, Nadia.”

I glared at Anderson, who quickly made a run for it, disappearing into the house as fast as he had appeared.

As I watched the joy unfold on my family's face after my return, I knew that the technician not contacting me was probably for the best.

What had happened had happened, and it was now a secret I was willing to take with me to the grave.