50. The Cold-Hearted Brute

Sun has risen. I find out about it when the weak rays of sunlight flicker through the large window and tease my eyes. I'm lying lifelessly on the middle of the large bed of the room.

Ashar was right. I'm foolish, stupid and amateur teenager. He proved it to me last night.

This is the first ever time in my life, when I've felt suicidal. I never felt so humiliated before. Ashar took advantage of my emotionally weak state. My mind was surely malfunctioning last night that I didn't give a thought about the outcome of my decision. I forgot about his resentment for me.

His kisses and hugs were lessening my mental torments so I just let my feelings float. They were satisfying my longing desire so I gave in. I gave in on my virtue to him.

I left his room in the middle of the night before he could wake up and spent the remaining night in other room; the room that the family offered to me when they brought me to this mansion. I thought I couldn't be able to fac