LOGINThe thing Lola noticed first was how calm her body felt around Noah.
Not numb. Not detached. Just… unguarded.
They were sitting on her couch, shoes off, takeout containers open on the coffee table. Elara was asleep in her crib, the apartment wrapped in the soft hush that came after bedtime. Rain tapped gently against the windows, Seattle doing what it did best.
Noah leaned back, stretching his arms. “You always this quiet at night?”
“Only when the world stops asking for things,” Lola replied.
He smiled. “That sounds earned.” She studied him in the low light his relaxed posture, the way his attention
Lola pov Joy sharpened her instincts.That was the unexpected part.Lola had always associated boundaries with fear, lines drawn to keep pain out. But now, with happiness settling into her days like something earned and fragile, boundaries felt different.They weren’t walls.They were protection.She realized it one morning while getting Elara ready for daycare. Her daughter hummed softly to herself, focused on choosing which shoes felt “right” today. Lola watched her with a tenderness that made her chest ache.This, life, was steady.And Lola would not gamble it.Not even for love.The realization didn’t come with panic.It came with clarity.Melvin was becoming woven into their days more deeply now. He was present, attentive, careful. He showed up consistently, and that consistency invited closeness almost effortlessly.But closeness, Lola knew, required structure.Not rules.Intentions.She poured coffee, phone buzzing beside her. A message from Melvin lit the screen.I was thinki
Lola pov The happiness arrived the next morning.That was what unsettled her most.Not the intimacy.Not the closeness.Not even the vulnerability.It was the way she woke up without dread.Sunlight spilled through the curtains, warm and unintrusive. Elara stirred softly in her room, a familiar sound that grounded Lola instantly. Her body felt relaxed not heavy, not tense. Just… at ease.She lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling.Nothing hurt.Nothing felt broken.Nothing demanded explanation.And that scared her.Happiness, Lola had learned, was rarely loud. But it was often temporary. Fleeting. Something you enjoyed quickly before life corrected the imbalance.She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood, moving through her morning routine with a lightness she didn’t fully trust.As she poured coffee, her phone buzzed.A message from Melvin.Good morning. I hope today feels gentle to you.She stared at the screen longer than necessary.Not because she didn’t want
Lola povJoy arrived like danger.That was the first thing Lola noticed.Not the fear she’d grown used to, sharp, loud, urgent but something subtler. A thrill that unsettled her because it didn’t demand defense. It invited surrender.They were laughing when it happened.Nothing heavy. Nothing loaded.Melvin was telling a story about Elara earlier that day about how she’d insisted on wearing mismatched socks and refused to be convinced otherwise. Lola laughed, head tipped back, something loose and unguarded in her chest.Melvin stopped talking.She felt his attention sharpen, settle
Melvin povMelvin didn’t realize how much he’d been holding back until Lola reached for him without fear.Not urgency.Not expectation.Choice.The night she invited him in something in him loosened. Not the careful restraint he’d been practicing, but a deeper tension he hadn’t named.The one built from years of survival.Grief had taught him how to endure quietly. Responsibility had taught him how to stay useful. But vulnerability, true vulnerability had never been required of him.Until now.He felt it the next morning while standing at
Lola povThe choice came to her in pieces.Not as a revelation, but as a series of small permissions she gave herself throughout the day. Permission to linger in the quiet after Elara left for daycare. Permission to feel the warmth of memory without bracing for loss. Permission to want something without immediately questioning the cost.By the time afternoon light slanted across the living room floor, Lola knew what she wanted to do.She wanted to reach.Not to test Melvin.Not to secure him.But to meet him open and deliberately where they already were.She picked up her phone and typed, then
Lola povFear didn’t arrive loudly.It didn’t knock, didn’t demand, didn’t announce itself with panic or urgency.It settled.Lola felt it one morning while standing in the doorway of Elara’s room, watching her daughter sleep. The soft rise and fall of Elara’s chest was steady, reassuring. The room smelled faintly of baby lotion and clean cotton.Everything was calm.And that was the problem.Lola pressed her fingers lightly to the doorframe, grounding herself as a thought surfaced—quiet but sharp.What if this breaks







