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Learning What Feels Safe
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2025-12-16 18:15:15Lola pov
The thing Lola noticed first was how calm her body felt around Noah.
Not numb. Not detached. Just… unguarded.
They were sitting on her couch, shoes off, takeout containers open on the coffee table. Elara was asleep in her crib, the apartment wrapped in the soft hush that came after bedtime. Rain tapped gently against the windows, Seattle doing what it did best.
Noah leaned back, stretching his arms. “You always this quiet at night?”
“Only when the world stops asking for things,” Lola replied.
He smiled. “That sounds earned.” She studied him in the low light his relaxed posture, the way his attention
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Lola pov The happiness arrived the next morning.That was what unsettled her most.Not the intimacy.Not the closeness.Not even the vulnerability.It was the way she woke up without dread.Sunlight spilled through the curtains, warm and unintrusive. Elara stirred softly in her room, a familiar sound that grounded Lola instantly. Her body felt relaxed not heavy, not tense. Just… at ease.She lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling.Nothing hurt.Nothing felt broken.Nothing demanded explanation.And that scared her.Happiness, Lola had learned, was rarely loud. But it was often temporary. Fleeting. Something you enjoyed quickly before life corrected the imbalance.She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood, moving through her morning routine with a lightness she didn’t fully trust.As she poured coffee, her phone buzzed.A message from Melvin.Good morning. I hope today feels gentle to you.She stared at the screen longer than necessary.Not because she didn’t want
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Lola povThe choice came to her in pieces.Not as a revelation, but as a series of small permissions she gave herself throughout the day. Permission to linger in the quiet after Elara left for daycare. Permission to feel the warmth of memory without bracing for loss. Permission to want something without immediately questioning the cost.By the time afternoon light slanted across the living room floor, Lola knew what she wanted to do.She wanted to reach.Not to test Melvin.Not to secure him.But to meet him open and deliberately where they already were.She picked up her phone and typed, then
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