Chapter 9

I’ve never been one to be satisfied by anyone or anything for long. I don’t understand myself sometimes or the need I have to push myself on men for attention? Maybe it’s because I was deprived of it as a child always in the shadows but never in the spotlight. Whatever the reason is, I've always been this way.

When I was six I remember wanting this doll. She was so pretty and had long blonde hair like mine. When I asked Dwayne if I could have her he said only if I behaved during his meeting. My mom Clara was visiting the doctor that day and made me go with my dad. I hated meetings. They bored the hell out of me but I wanted that doll so badly that I sat mouth shut behaving like Dwayne told me to do. However, once his meeting was done and his business associates left I asked him if he would take me after the doll. That's when he sat me down and told me I was too old for such childish things and I needed to stop asking.

I cried the whole day once I was back home in my room, I remember