Chapter 4 ~ Must be nice

AYANA

I later went back home only to find Jessica waiting for me. All three years we've been married, I was the one who cooked for Nash.

We had helpers, but I chose to do it. From ironing his clothes all the way to preparing him for work and all his meals. When I had no shows, I'd even take him lunch at work with those little sticky notes on it. But all that did nothing to soften his heart. 

“Welcome home. Madam.” Jessica said, and I smiled at her,

“Thank you. Is Nash home?” I asked, realizing that when I left the restaurant, they were nowhere in sight.

“Not yet, ma'am.” She responded, and I laughed.

Of course, he wasn't home. 

“Alright then,” I responded, and was about to head upstairs when she stopped me,

“What will you cook for dinner so we can do the preparations?” 

Dinner?

Ha!

“I won't cook dinner tonight,” I announced and walked to my room!

Hours passed, and Nash still wasn't back home. My heart ached, and I felt like a stranger in my own home. Not wanting to dwell so much on it, I decided to go downstairs and make some coffee since it was so cold. 

I had just reached the kitchen when I heard tiny footsteps chase after me.

“Hey, you!” Adam’s voice rang out; it was filled with excitement as he waved something that looked like a toy car. I wasn't sure because I didn't pay attention.

“Hi,” I mumbled a response and side-stepped him, but he blocked my way and crossed his little arms while glaring at me,

“My mom and Uncle Nash are together now,” he announced proudly. “Soon we’ll be a real family, and you will have to leave!”

I froze mid-step. My chest tightened, but I forced a calm expression. 

He was just a child. 

“That’s nice,” I muttered, turning to side step him, but he followed me again,

“I'm talking to you, old lady! This is now my house, and soon, you’ll be kicked out! Mom said so while we were having dinner! And since you are old and can't have children, Uncle Nash will love me more because I'm the son of the woman he really loves!”

“Listen to me, Adam,” I snapped,  “If your mother and Nash end up together, you think you’ll be special? You won’t. They’ll want a child of their own. A real child they made together. And when that happens, they’ll forget about you. Just like your father did.”

His eyes widened and his lips quivered as tears spilled down his cheeks. 

It was a low blow, but the little brat kept asking for it. I knew Hellen sent him to provoke me, but now I surely hoped he'd think twice before approaching me. 

“Why? What's wrong?” I taunted with a laugh, “Is the big guy scared now? Why don't you run back to your mother and tell her that adults should be respected and not provoked?” 

“You're an evil woman!” He screamed while running back upstairs. 

I sighed as I turned to head back to my bedroom, my thirst for coffee long forgotten. 

Inside my room, I slammed the door shut and leaned against it as silence swallowed me whole. 

My heart pounded with a deep, dull ache that had been ripped open.

Because deep down, he had touched the rawest part of me. I couldn’t give Nash children even after three years of marriage. It was painful to be constantly mocked and taunted by my in-laws and those close to him. His father would laugh and talk about how fertile their bloodline was.

“Did you trap yourself with a barren woman?” My mother-in-law would mock me every time we went for dinner, and my belly remained flat. 

I had done all kinds of tests, and despite the doctors telling me that I was completely healthy, there was absolutely no sign of a baby.  I took a test every month, hoping to see two lines, but to my disappointment, it was always negative. 

Nash would tell me he didn't care about kids as long as he had me. But after witnessing him interact with Adam, I noticed he has always wanted to be a father. 

I collapsed onto the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling while my thoughts gnawed at my chest like claws.

My eyes stung, but I refused to cry. Tears never solved anything. They only made me feel weaker, and I had been weak enough for far too long.

A knock startled me from my thoughts. I sat up quickly, wiping at my eyes even though no tears had fallen.

The door opened without permission, and Hellen leaned against the frame with her smug smile. I rolled my eyes so hard I swear I saw a glimpse of my brain. I was about to shut the door in her face when she stopped it and said,

“So,” she said lazily, “Adam tells me you scared him. That wasn’t very nice, was it?”

“He came to me with your poison on his tongue. Don’t use your son to fight your battles, and for the record, me allowing you to be in this house is being nice. Don't push it or you might end up on the streets!”

“Oh please,” She snorted, “Is that supposed to shake me in my boots? You didn't allow anything! If anything, I'm the one being nice, and if you don't shut it, I'll ask him to kick you out on the streets! We both know you can’t give Nash what he wants, and you know it. That makes you replaceable, Anaya. It’s only a matter of time.”

“Then enjoy your little victory while it lasts, Hellen. Because one day, Nash will see you for exactly what you are. A desperate bitch who hides behind her child because she’s too afraid to stand on her own.” I stepped closer, holding her gaze with my own as I whispered, “Because we both know, the only card you have is the pity card. And that's exactly why Nash tolerates you, because of pity!”

She threw her head back in laughter while crossing her arms, “Pity?”She wiped invisible tears. “Oh dear Anaya! Is that how you comfort yourself at night? Or was that what you told yourself after seeing us tonight as we spent time as a family? Tell me, Anaya.” She cocked her head to the side while stepping closer, “Do you even know how Nash's lips taste? Has he ever bought you flowers before? Or has he ever flown nine hours for you simply because you cried?” She drew circles on my chest with her red painted nails and smiled, “Do you now see who the one being pitied is here? But don't worry, I'm in a good mood and won't throw you out in the streets just yet!”

Her words sliced me up from the inside out, but I refused to let her walk over me. Even with my heart bleeding and knees shaking, I stood my ground and forced a cold, dry laugh as I said, “And yet, I'm the one married to him and you're just a side piece. Tell me, Hellen, how does it feel to be a home wrecker?” I crossed my arms, making sure my ring was visible. 

Her eyes blazed as she tried to slap me, but I blocked her wrist and grabbed her hair, pushing her the hell out of my room and shutting it in the process.

Jesus!

Couldn't a girl have some peace anymore?

The answer to my question came immediately because my phone rang, and when I picked it up, I groaned from annoyance.

Just what I needed!

“Hello?” I answered.

But the voice on the other end only clicked their tongue and said,

 “Wow, you even found time to sleep like a baby? It must be nice being useless all the time!”