Chapter Six: How Would I Save Her When I Can't Save Myself?

CAMILLA'S POV

“P-please. Just let me go. I had no knowledge of this. Please”. I said as tears streamed down my face.

“Your tears won't save you. Besides, if I let you go, who's gonna pay me my money? And who'll pay for your mother's treatment? Think about it. You really don't have a choice here.”

I was silent. He was right, if he stopped paying for the bills my father wouldn't pay, and my mother wouldn't get the treatment she needed.

“I told you before, there's no escape. If I let you go your mother would die. So what's it gonna be sweetheart?”

He said as I stared at the floor, my mind racing with thoughts.

What was I gonna do?

“Don't make me wait for an answer Camilla”. Baron said with a stern voice, snapping me out of my thoughts. “What's it gonna be? Your mother's life is at stake here, just have to in mind”

“I.. I”.

“You're not saying anything. I hate waiting”

I let out a deep sigh. I had to do anything I could to save her.

“I'll stay. And work for you. But please help my mother. Please”. I said, looking at him with pleading eyes, as I fought back more tears.

“One thing I won't do is go back on my word, as long as you do your part that is”. He said coldly and walked to his bed and sat down.

“As for the blunder you committed today, I'll let you off. You do look sick. But it should never repeat itself again. Understood?”. He said coldly.

“Y-yes Master Baron”.

“Good, you can go now.”. I could still feel his eyes on me as I walked out of the room.

I locked myself in my room and cried. All I ever did in this house was cry. I couldn't help It, all I ever felt was sadness and despair here. It was crazy to me, how things went from good to bad to worse in just two years.

My heart ached as I thought of my mom.

At least her bills would be paid

I gritted my teeth as I thought of my father. It was bad enough that he was a negligent father and husband. But he sold me? Why would he do such a thing? Even after dropping out of college in my second year just to help him, he still did this?

I loathed him. He had out me through suffering and torment. And Baron, he just saw me as an object, a collateral. I hated both of them with every fibre in my being. The sad part is, I couldn't do anything about it. I was powerless and hopeless. My only will and driving force to live was my mother. I had to stay here till she got the treatment she needed. I just hoped what I was doing was not in vain and that Baron held his own part of the deal.

I laid down and closed my eyes trying to force myself to go to sleep. I kept seeing her. Memories that we made together before she fell ill flashed through my eyes.

Her hugging me and showering me with praises at my highschool graduation. Her getting excited when I got my admission letter. Everything came rushing back in an instant. I didn't know at the time that she was suffering in silence from both her deteriorating health and my father. I knew what was going on but I was too young to understand the depth of it. I wish I knew. I wish I was strong enough to help her. I wish I knew.

“Stop blaming yourself Milla”. I heard her voice from a distance. I opened my eyes and saw that I was standing in an open field. It was beautiful. She came closer to me and hugged me.

“I failed you mom. I'm sorry”. I said as I looked into her eyes.

“You didn't fail me my love. You made me very proud with your many accomplishments”. She said as she caressed my hair and cheek.

“B-but I wasn't able to help you.”.

“You were just a child. Nobody expected you to help me. Don't blame yourself Milla. Stay strong for me. I'm so proud of the young woman you're growing into.”. She said smiling.

“I miss you mom. I'll come see you soon. I don't know when but I will. Just stay for the moment, don't leave. I feel alone in this house. Please don't leave me.”

She smiled and caressed my cheek. “I'm always with you, my little munchkin. I love you so much Milla”

“I love you too mom. More than anything.”. I said as I hugged her tightly but she started fading away. I panicked.

“N-no don't go! Mom please don't go”. I said as I tried to hold her.

“I'll see you soon my love”. She said with a smile and held my cheek. Her hand disappeared and so did the rest of her.

I fell to the ground and cried. “Come back! Please”. I continued shouting and screaming but nothing happened. The open field also started disappearing and falling apart. I looked around and felt afraid.

I woke up immediately and gasped for breath. She.....Everything I saw was a figment of my imagination. A coping mechanism. My mother was still in the hospital, in a coma. I cried once more. I felt alone again. The room was extra cold that night. I could hear whispers in my ear. Doubts. I felt like I would let her down again. Like I would not be able to save her. I couldn't even save myself.

“Please don't leave me. Please…”. I cried throughout the night and into the morning. I cried harder than I had ever cried before. I'd never see her again. I'd never get to hold her. Hear her beautiful laugh or look into her eyes. How could I hear that pain?

How was I gonna save her, when I couldn't even save myself?