Masuk(Amara)
“Girl, a sick leave?” Maya’s voice rings through the phone.
I’d called the office earlier to request one because right now, I can’t even face myself—let alone clients. “Don’t tell me you’re still floating on the moon from your time with Felix last night that you decided to cover it up with a sick leave?”
I stay quiet.
For a moment, I wish that were true. I wish that were the reason.
But it isn’t.
“Amara?” Maya calls. “Are you there?”
“Ah… yeah. Yes.” My voice comes out weak. “I’m just tired.”
“Are you sure?” Worry seeps into her tone.
Normally, I would’ve told her everything. Maya has always been the one I run to. But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine being in a situation like this, where I have to hide the bad with the good and mask the good with lies.
And knowing Maya, if I said the word, she’d be at my door within minutes.
But now isn’t the time.
I need to keep this to myself. At least until Selina gives birth.
Her words echo in my head again: You’ll never see me again.
That promise is the only thing holding me together.
“Okay,” Maya says slowly. “You know what? I’m coming over right now.”
“No.” The word rushes out. “No, you don’t have to. I’ll be fine. I just need a few days of rest. I’ll be strong enough to come back after that.”
“But, Amara—”
“I need to go,” I cut in quickly. “We’ll talk later.”
I end the call before she can respond.
A sigh slips out of me.
Footsteps approach.
Selina.
She looks heavy, exhausted, weighed down by the life growing inside her. I imagine how hard it must be carrying such a stomach on such a small frame.
She stops beside the kitchen counter where I’m standing. “What’s for breakfast, Amara?”
I blink.
Is she really asking me that?
Shouldn’t she be asking the man who got her pregnant?
As if sensing my hesitation, she rubs her stomach gently, smiling down at it like she’s communicating with the baby. “She’s almost here,” she says softly. “She eats a lot… craves a lot of things. If only I could afford them, I would’ve given her everything.”
Her voice drops at the end.
Something twists inside me. I don’t fully understand it, because I’ve never felt that before, but the weight of it presses on my chest.
“You don’t have to worry about that now,” I hear myself say. “As long as you’re here, you can tell me whatever you crave. I’ll make it available.”
Her face lights up. “Really?”
She looks at me like no one has ever done something like that for her before. “I didn’t make a mistake choosing you to be her mother. I can already tell she’s loved, even before she’s born.”
I say nothing.
I just smile and let the moment pass.
*******
I place the scrambled eggs, toast, and juice on the table, the exact things she said she wanted. I turn to leave when her voice stops me.
“Will I be eating alone?”
I turn slowly, choosing my words carefully. Or at least, I try to.
“Why not stick to what you’re here for,” I say quietly, “and not try to belong?”
The words come out sharper than I intend, and even I flinch at them.
Suddenly, Selina yelps, juice spilling across her dress. She freezes for a moment, eyes wide, then whispers, “Oh… I wasn’t careful. But it’s fine… the baby…”
Confusion tightens my chest. Did I do something? Or is she—
She glances at me, voice barely steady. “You didn’t mean that, right? I just—“
“I didn’t do that.” I say, cutting her off as confusion hits me.
But before she can say anything else, Felix’s presence fills the room.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
Selina forces a small smile, hands folding neatly in front of her. “Nothing, Felix. I was just talking to Amara… about coming with us to see the doctor. She should see the baby too, you know… she’s going to be her mother anyway.”
My chest tightens.
Selina gives a small twitch of a smile, like she’s doing me a favor by letting me stay… or maybe making sure Felix doesn’t see the spill the “wrong way.”
Her posture is calm, composed, but every tiny flicker of her eyes says she’s already turned this moment to her advantage.
Felix looks at me briefly, like he’s trying to keep the peace. Then looks down at Selina’s dress.
“You’ll catch a cold,” he says, moving toward her. “That’s not good for the baby.”
He takes her arm gently. “Come on. Let me take you to your room. I don’t want anything to hurt our child.”
Our.
The word sits heavy in my chest, wrong.
As he leads her away, she looks back at the table. “But the food—”
“Don’t worry,” Felix says firmly. “Amara will make you another and bring it to your room. First, you need to change.”
He doesn’t look back.
Not even once.
All that matters now is her.
And the baby.
(Amara)I wake up to the loud blare of my phone alarm.Seriously? I’m on vacation and I still haven’t turned off that damn thing?This alarm has been part of my life for years. The one I trained myself to wake up to after I got married to Felix. Back then, I had to learn discipline. Time. Routine. Being ready before the day even started.It wasn’t always like that.In my parents’ house, I woke up whenever I wanted. Breakfast was already waiting. My outfit laid out. Every detail handled for me. I never had to worry about planning my day or getting things done. I would wake up and decide if I wanted a spa day, a museum visit, or just to exist comfortably inside the life my parents had already arranged for me.I sit up suddenly.Come to think of it… this is a new day.A real one.Time to begin my adventure.I clap my hands once in anticipation just as the alarm rings again. Groaning, I push the duvet aside and drag myself out of bed, moving sluggishly toward my bag. I dig out my phone an
(Amara)The moment feels suspended until his voice breaks through it.“Are you okay?”His words are low and close, brushed against the side of my neck. There is a thickness to his voice, something steady and concerned, as if the question leaves him instinctively before he can think better of it.Slowly, I pull away from his chest. A flicker of embarrassment washes over me when I realize how tightly I had held on, how easily I had leaned into him. I sigh softly and sweep my hair to the side before lifting my gaze.He is already looking at me.His hair curls neatly to one side, perfectly in place, and his eyes are bright, almost sparkling as they meet mine. There is relief there. Maybe something else too.“Yeah,” I say, my voice quieter than I expect. “Thank you. I almost tripped on you. I’m so sorry about that.”He shakes his head, a soft smile settling on his lips. “Yeah. It’s nothing.”That is when it hits me.We are still standing on the plane steps.People are waiting.“Oh,” I murm
(Amara)“What is it, Amara?”Maya’s voice tears through the apartment as I move from room to room. Bedroom. Living room. Balcony.Since yesterday, I’ve said nothing. I haven’t eaten. And now I’m dragging clothes from my box and tossing them into a wide steel container on the balcony, piling fabric on fabric like they mean nothing.“And now…” Maya follows me out, disbelief sharpening her tone. “Now you’re throwing your clothes away and burning them?”I don’t answer.I kneel, arranging the clothes more deliberately, smoothing a sleeve, pushing a dress down so everything fits. I move back inside, grab another armful.Her footsteps rush after me.“What’s going on?” She grips my arm, forcing me to stop. “You know you can talk to me, right?”I look at her. Really look at her.Maya has been my only friend since I moved to this city five years ago. I tell her most things. Laugh with her. Cry with her. But I’ve never told her about my family.I never saw the need.I wanted one person in my lif
(Amara)My eyes widen as he approaches, stopping a few feet away from me.“Na… Nathan.” His name slips out before I can stop it.He exhales slowly, hands sliding into his pockets. “What are you doing here?”I stiffen. The question lands wrong. Cold. Almost disgusted.“I asked you something,” he says again, sharper this time. “What are you doing here?”I flinch and take two small steps back, shock rippling through me. The way he looks at me hurts more than the words. Like I am a stranger. Like I am nothing.Nathan and I used to be close. Close enough that I trusted him with most of my secrets. Even when he refused to understand why I left, I never imagined he would speak to me like this. Not after five years. Not to his own sister.“You should at least have the decency not to step foot in this mansion again,” he continues. “Especially after everything that happened.”His words snap me out of my thoughts.I nod once, lips pressing into a thin line. “Yes. I know. That’s why I was already
(Amara)“Oh,” she says, running a hand through her hair. “That. I mean the drug you’re talking about.” She moves briskly toward me. “You can’t find it?” she asks, sounding almost unsure of what I mean.I stare at her, stunned.“Didn’t you get me? That’s what I’m looking for,” I say, drawing the words out, each syllable weighed down by my frustration. I move to the bed and sink into it, exhaustion pressing into my bones.I hold her gaze.“You must have one for yourself, right? You said you got one for yourself too. Can you help me with it, since I can’t find mine?”“Sorry, Amara. Mine is finished,” Maya cuts in.She turns toward the table, her back to me now. “But you don’t have to worry. I can just get you one tomorrow.”She faces me again, an assuring smile settling on her lips. It’s gentle, practiced, the kind meant to calm storms.“I’ll go to the hospital before heading to work, and you’ll have it by evening. How does that sound?”I sigh, drawing in a deep breath. It’s late. There’
(Amara)Her eyes flicker.“Selina?” she repeats slowly, like the name itself doesn’t belong anywhere in her memory. For a brief second, there’s nothing behind her gaze. Then, recognition dawns. Slowly, her lips curl into a smile.“Ah yes,” she says lightly. “She’s a distant relative.”She lowers the glass of juice to the table and turns fully toward me, reaching out to take the phone from my hand. There’s a soft chuckle as she looks at the screen.“I usually call her Lina,” she adds casually. “So for a moment, I was confused about who you were talking about.”Her thumb presses the side button. The screen goes dark. She tosses the phone onto the table as if it means nothing.“I don’t plan on picking her call,” she continues. “I’m sure she’s only calling because she needs money again.”She laughs, an easy, dismissive sound.“You know how all these relatives can be.”A deep sigh leaves me. My fingers slide into my hair, gripping lightly as her words replay in my head, over and over again







