Crippling

>>Portia

It was hard to walk. My calves bled lightly but the pain was immense.

This is the kind of thing I’ve always hated in this house. These people love giving corporeal punishment. This isn’t humane.

In this wretched place where I’m treated like garbage, I’m now going to be married off to some geezer too.

In all the years I’ve been alive, this is the worst day of my life. I always believed that there would come a day when I’d be free from this hell. I had been waiting for my eighteen birthday so I could put in a request to leave officially or go to another pack but I was also aware they wouldn’t let a maid just go, so I was hoping someday I’d meet someone who could help me. Possibly my mate, but that didn’t work out.

In fact, it just turned into something horrible.

“Ssss,” The pain made me hiss as I walked slowly into the dimly lit place. The lights had been dimmed in the pack house since everyone had retired to their rooms for the night.

One day,

One single day and all of my hopes and dreams came crumbling down. I never thought about running away because from childhood kids are taught that werewolf travels in packs and leaving one makes you a rouge.

Rouges are considered the dirtiest and no one wants to socialize with them or approach them. Plus, they are considered traitors so killing them doesn’t create any issues.

I reached the second floor where the hallways were even darker.

Is my life really done? Is there nothing I can do to save myself? I’m standing in the worst place possible for someone. Everything is happening against my will and it seems there’s nothing I can do to help myself. I have no allies. Grey is my only friend and I don’t want to cause any trouble for her, plus, it’s not like she can do anything to help me either.

I took a deep breath and kept moving.

What if I tell them I have a mate? If there’s one absolute law among werewolves, it’s that they don’t separate mates.

I paused, stopped dead still in my stance, and thought about it.

…

No one would believe me.

Egon himself ignored me, he didn’t acknowledge me so even if I step up and say I already have a mate and he denies it, I’ll end up getting punished even more.

My mate heard it all clearly, about them marrying me off to someone else and he didn’t do anything nor did it look like he cared. He’s not going to do anything at all.

A broken smile appear on my face as my eyes stung.

He's going to reject me, isn't he? And I know he'll do it somewhere alone, so no one sees or gets to know that I'm his mate. He didn’t like me at all, did he? Well, the status between us is insane. He’s a royal bodyguard and I’m an uneducated maid taken in from a fallen pack who’s abused even in the packhouse.

…

Can it can worse than this?

The realization crippled my emotions but I started walking again. I walked slowly til the time I came across people talking in a room and the voices made me stop next to the door.

“Is having someone marry that old man necessary?” It was Egon’s voice.

“We need someone to do it to calm him down.” The other person was Prince Ulrich

“The girl you're offering him isn’t even an adult.” Egon talked about me, making my heart jump. Is he defending me? Really? 

I felt a second of joy before the conversation continued.

“Considering how old we are, anyone would seem like a child to us.” Oh? Right! Lycans have long lifespans, “What’s wrong? You’ve been tense since the moment we entered this place.” The Prince asked his guard and I gulped nervously waiting for his response.

“It’s nothing.” He replied, “But still, that girl, she’s not even eighteen, and that Alpha she’s supposed to marry is sixty.”

I felt a little bit of glee. Was Egon really standing up for me?!

“That is exactly what he demanded in exchange for the information we need.” The prince answered, “And we’re going to give that to him.” Ulrich sounded cold, like he held no compassion for me at all, “What is it? You’re tense.”

I pursed my lips in anticipation. This is it. Maybe he’ll say something. Maybe, I was wrong. Maybe he was just confused and is now going to make things right.

We’re mates after all. My heart skipped beats in wait.

We’re supposed to have a strong bond. Stronger than anything else.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” His answer crushes all of me. My emerging hopes, my kindling feelings, my fluttering emotions. All of me

“It should be nothing,” Ulrich sighed, “Your my best soldier, don’t distract yourself. Understand? We’re going to finish with his marriage as fast as possible and then leave.”

“Yes sir,”

Their conversation crippled me. 

I’m being used to gain some information? Is that all I’m worth? I know I’m not much on my own. I’m barely anything but even to my mate, I’m nothing? He didn’t say anything to stop it, I’m really not important to him… At all…

I was beyond devastated and I couldn't control it, my emotions burst into a mess. Tears streamed down my cheeks as my chest hurt. The negative feelings stirring inside of me hurt way more than my bleeding legs.

I thought I finally had some escape but I’m being pushed into a pit of misery and there’s no one to stand by me and help.

I’m all alone

How will I ever heal from this?

***

Grey bandaged my wounds for me and then stood up, “You know I’ll be gone next week.” She sighed, “School’s starting…”

“I might not be here either…” I was staring into the distance, not looking into anything in particular but my mind was racing with thoughts, “Depends when they marry me off.” It was past midnight now and the whole place was filled with silence.

“Tia…” A depressed expression overcame her face, “This isn’t fair.”

“I don’t think life has been fair to me at all.” I gulped. My heart was shattered and my feelings were a mess.

“That Alpha, of the moonlight pack, he’s over fifty…”

“I heard,” I replied in a cold, nonchalant voice.

“And you’re going to marry him?!” She let out an exasperated sigh, “No!”

“...” I didn’t give her a reply. There was something going on in my mind that wasn’t in the right state. For some weird reason, something strong was stirring inside of me.

“Portia?”

“It’s alright Grey,” Adrenaline had started pumping in my blood as I kept thinking, “Go to sleep.”

“Tia…”

“We’ll talk in the morning, okay?” I still didn’t look at her. I was staring into a corner as misery began to shroud my judgment and the depression started driving me toward a decision.

“But-” Grey started then paused, “Alright, let’s talk in the morning. It’s late now, so go to sleep” She gave me a slight smile and began to walk out of the attic room.

She opened the door to leave but before she did, she turned to look back at me and waved, “Good night Tia.”

I finally looked at her and smiled. Grey has been the one thing that stopped me from falling into depression or losing my sanity and because of that, I don’t want to cause any problems for her.

She’s a very dear person.

I waved back at her with a slight smile,  “Goodbye Grey.”