Chapter three: My life inside

I wasn't surprised, not even a little bit. This was what I had endured for the past two years of living with him.

He took a bath, changed into his pajamas, and headed to the living room with his phone after making sure his parents had gone to bed.

Outside our room, my husband was the most caring and loving husband anyone could imagine, leaving no room for me to complain because no one would believe what I said anyway.

You might wonder why I was only crying at dinner. It wasn't because of a child; in fact, I was still a virgin. I had been in a relationship with my husband for ten years and married for two, yet no intimacy.

When we go to the hospital, as my mother-in-law ordered, what will we tell the doctor? "That since we married, we haven't had sex? Oh God, how do I get through this? Will I ever be happy?" Thoughts raced through my mind as I sat on the edge of the bed, tears flowing down my cheeks like a river.

"How do I open up and tell our parents that all this time, we haven't touched each other? Who would believe me?" I couldn't handle myself anymore. It felt as if I couldn't breathe, my heart was so heavy, and my head pounded as I wrestled with these thoughts.

The edge of the bed felt uncomfortable, so I sat on the floor, resting my back against the wooden part of the bed, my hands on my head, crying bitterly.

I don't know when I fell asleep on the floor, but I woke up to my phone alarm, which I had set for midnight prayers.

I loved Ethan so much that I didn't want to divorce him despite his behavior. I kept praying for him to change, for our marriage to be a happy one like others, even if it wasn't the best, at least a happy one.

I had loved Ethan since I was ten years old. I fell in love with him when he attended my tenth birthday with his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Theo Blake.

Mr. and Mrs. Theo Blake were very good friends with my parents, and their close relationship made Ethan and me close too. We went to the same high school, and everyone called us the "young couple." We did everything together.

Boys in my school were interested in me, but all my attention was on Ethan. "It's either Ethan or no one else," I would always tell myself.

After graduating from high school, we both traveled to London to get our bachelor's degrees at Cambridge University. He studied law, and I studied accounting. Even at university, we kept our young couple's relationship. I literally did everything for him, to the point where I would leave my department and go to his to get his attendance whenever he called, saying he was sick or had an important meeting.

One day, I went to his dorm and spent the night. It was cold, and I needed warmth, at least from my boyfriend. I was so aroused that I couldn't hold it any longer. I had to speak to him; he was lying on the same bed as me but facing the wall. After all, he was my boyfriend. I moved closer to him and cuddled him from behind.

He tried to shift, but I leaned into his ear and whispered, "I'm horny, Ethan. Please, I want to feel you." I ran my hand over his body, from his chest to his nipple, which I tickled, then moved down towards his groin.

He held my hand for a moment, then turned without a word. He slipped his hand under my light nightwear, grabbing my breast. He caressed it, and I arched my body, wanting more. This was the first time a man had touched me, and it felt nice.

He pinched my nipple. I moaned and said in a low, sexy voice, "Please suck my nipple. I want to feel your mouth on them." He put his head under my nightwear and put his mouth on one of my nipples, his other hand on the other. My body melted. I bit my lower lip as I moaned.

Is this what Eliana had been enjoying with her boyfriend every time that she wouldn't let me hear a word in school?

"Oh my god… uhm," I moaned as I spread my legs for him to get on top of me. He sucked so well, like a pro. I could feel the wetness between my thighs and a craving for him. As he balanced on top of me, his bulge touching my inner thigh, I raised my knees, pressing my toes tightly into the bed.

He noticed what my body was saying. He moved down, removed the G-string I was wearing, and put his mouth on my clitoris, his tongue tracing my folds.

Sensations surged through my body. I gripped the sheet, my body arching up and down. He held my thighs firmly like a hungry lion, savoring every bit of me.

Then, a phone rang. He paused, grabbed his phone, and excused himself to the living room.

I was so happy that I had managed to get him to do this. "He loves me, otherwise why would he do whatever I asked without a word?" I mumbled to myself. I removed all my nightwear, ready for him.

Everything was normal until he came back in after the phone call. He leaned over me, and I bit my lower lip sexily. He kissed my pussy, my two nipples, and then my lips before saying a word.

"Maya, I don't think we're doing the right thing. You know how close our parents are? I don't think they'll support this kind of relationship," he said as he moved away to put on his shirt.

I was stunned and couldn't say anything. It felt as if my hope was shattered, but I put it back together by thinking he wanted to be careful until our parents approved of us, which was a good idea.

"Oh, yeah… you're right. We need to be careful," I said. "But you do this thing like a pro," I added, looking at him with a smile. He chuckled.

That was the only time I felt my husband's touch. Each time I tried to get close to him after that, he would tell me that even if our parents approved, we should wait until we were married because it wasn't advisable for unmarried people to have sex.

Then, after our graduation, our parents called us and said they wanted us to marry each other to extend their relationship.

I was the happiest person to hear this. I quickly prepared for our wedding because I couldn't wait to be intimate with Ethan again.

But here I was, always crying and agonizing, wondering every day if I had made the wrong choice loving Ethan the way I did.

"Where... where do I... start from? Who do I run to? Who will listen to me?" I started crying again. "God, this is too much for me. Is this how other people's marriages are? I know marriage isn't a bed of roses, but this is too much."