Chapter twenty five

The door closed behind her and she stared at Adrian, “go on and use the bathroom sweetheart”. She instructed and watched him leave.

Claire leaned against the door and slid down to the floor.

Her whole body was shaking and she couldn't breathe right and her chest hurt so badly she thought something inside had broken.

She pressed her hand over her heart and the tears came.

They poured down her face and she couldn't stop them and didn't try to because no one was watching and she could finally let herself fall apart.

She spent five years trying to get over him and becoming someone new. She even convinced herself that she was over him.

And one look at his face had shattered everything.

The way he'd looked at her with those grey eyes full of shock and hope and desperation.

The way he'd hugged her and whispered "Thank God you're alive" like she was something precious he'd lost.

The way his voice had cracked when she pushed him away.

She hated him.

She hated him for what he'd done to her and for the five years of hell he'd put her through and for choosing Irene every single time.

But seeing him again had hurt in ways she didn't expect and couldn't explain.

Her heart was supposed to be dead where he was concerned.

She was supposed to feel nothing.

But instead she felt everything and it was too much and she couldn't make it stop.

"Mama?"

Adrian's small voice made her look up and she quickly wiped at her face but the tears kept coming.

He was standing in the hallway in his pajamas with his grey eyes wide and worried and he looked so much like Jeff it made her chest ache worse.

"What's wrong?" He moved closer. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm okay, baby." Her voice came out broken. "Just a hard day."

"Who was that man at the park?" Adrian sat down next to her on the floor. Leave it to Adrian to always notice things that he wasn't supposed to notice.

She couldn't tell him the truth so she lied. "Nobody important. Just someone who thought I was someone else."

 Adrian leaned against her. "But you looked scared when you saw him."

"I wasn't scared, just surprised" She wrapped her arm around him and wished he would drop the topic.

"Was he a bad man?" He asked, staring intently at her.

The question hit her hard because she didn't know how to answer it.

Jeff had been terrible to her but he wasn't a bad man and calling him that felt wrong even after everything.

"No, sweetheart. He's not a bad man. Just someone from a long time ago."

Adrian was quiet for a moment. "Do you miss him?"

"No. I don't miss him at all." But she said it too fast that made Adrian just stare at her.

But even as she said it she knew it was a lie because seeing him had opened something inside her that she'd kept locked away for five years.

"Come on." She stood up and pulled Adrian with her. "Let's get you to bed."

She tucked him in and kissed his forehead and told him she loved him and waited until his eyes closed before she went to her own room.

She lay in the dark and stared at the ceiling and couldn't stop thinking about what happened today. Her mind drifted to Howard.

He was in the hospital fighting for his life and she wished she could save him the way he saved her.

And thinking about Howard made her remember the first time they'd met.

She'd been so young and so stupid and so desperate.

The memory came flooding back.

She'd stood outside Jeff's company in that pale yellow dress that was too big for her and tried to gather enough courage to go inside.

"I have to warn him about Irene." She'd said it out loud to make herself believe it.

The building had been huge and intimidating and everyone inside had looked busy and important.

She'd stood there confused about where to go when a woman with files had approached her.

"You must be the new intern."

"Er... actually... I'm here to see Jeff."

The woman had looked her up and down with obvious disgust. "You mean Jeff Anderson?"

Claire had nodded.

"Who are you?"

"I'm... a friend. Yes, a friend."

The woman had scoffed. "Mr. Anderson does not keep beggars as friends."

Everyone had laughed and the sound had made her face burn with shame.

"You can tell him that Claire is here to see him. He really is a friend."

Another worker had walked up to her. "Who are you to tell us what to do? You're just one of those girls who uses cheap tricks to get the boss's attention."

"With her cheap perfume and the rags she's wearing, it's hilarious calling the boss her friend."

"Please, I'm telling the truth. You have to believe me." She cried desperately.

"I'm done talking to you. Leave while you still have some dignity left."

Hands had grabbed her and started dragging her toward the door.

"No, please don't throw me out. I only need a moment with him."

More laughter. Cruel and mocking.

"Filthy gold digger without shame."

Then Jeff's voice had cut through everything. "What's going on here?"

Relief had flooded through her because he was there and he would fix this.

"Boss, it's just some random person claiming she's a friend of yours." One of the workers said.

"We know she's just a gold digger. We'll send her away." Another of them told him.

The woman had pulled her harder.

"Jeff..." His name had come out as a whisper.

She'd hugged him without thinking because she was desperate and scared and needed him to recognize her. She had known him for over a decade now, surely, he would at least consider her a friend.

He'd pushed her away and she'd fallen hard on the floor and the pain in her knees had been nothing compared to the look in his eyes.

"Pathetic." He snarled

The word had cut deeper than any slap and she blinked severally.

"Take her away."

He'd turned to leave and panic had made her grab his ankle and he'd lost his balance and fallen on top of her.

"What the hell are you doing?" He clenched out.

"Get off me." Her voice was alarmed and her eyes rounded.

"Why? You've been chasing after me and now you're playing innocent." He smirked.

"No, Jeff, it's not what you think." She begged him.

"Cut it off, Claire. I know what you wanted." He growled.

Then he'd kissed her and she'd struggled but it was only for a moment before she succumbed, kissing him deeply. 

Irene's voice had shattered everything. "Claire!" She screeched

Jeff had stood up and looked at her with cold disgust. "You have what you wanted. Now get the hell out."

With that he'd walked away without looking back.

"She's such a whore!" A worker hissed, her voice dripping venom.

"You think Jeff Anderson would want someone like you." Another clenched out.

She'd stood up on shaking legs and tried to leave.

"Claire." Irene's voice had been cold and filled with hateful fury.

The slap had come so fast Claire hadn't seen it coming and her cheek had burned and her eyes had filled with tears.

"How dare you!" Irene hissed in anger.

"I didn't do anything." Claire muttered, her hand grabbing her cheek.

"What are you doing here?"Irene clenched out.

"She came to seduce the boss but got kicked out."

More laughter and Claire felt her face grow red in shame.

"You don't even love him. Why are you doing this?" She cried, glaring at Irene.

"And you came to tell him that? You think he'll love you if you tell him?" Irene mocked.

"How pathetic." Irene growled.

"Such a shameless slut." A trainee worker spat out.

"You have some nerve. Look at Irene, so classy and beautiful, and you think Jeff will leave her for someone like you?"

"Guards, get this thing out of my sight." Irene yelled and two guards came into sight.

"There's no need. I'm leaving." Claire swallowed, her heart shattered from pain and embarrassment.

"Then go, because Jeff doesn't give a damn about you."

Claire had run outside sobbing and her vision had been so blurred with tears she hadn't seen the old man until she'd crashed into him.

Her bag had fallen and spilled everywhere.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, please forgive me." She cried 

The old man had stared at her with kind eyes. "Are you alright? You don't look okay. What happened?"

"

I'm fine, thank you. Did I hurt you?" Even in her disgruntled state, she still felt concern for him, she never knew meeting with him will change her life someday.

"I'm fine, child. Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, his face mirrored concern.

She'd tried to smile. "I'm fine. Thank you for your concern."

She'd grabbed her things and run before he could ask more questions.

What she hadn't known was that her ID had fallen and the old man had picked it up.

"Claire Stewart..."

He'd turned to someone behind him. "Find out who she is and everything that happened inside my grandson's company today. I want to know before the end of today."

That old man had been Howard.

And he'd saved her when no one else would.

Claire pressed her hands to her face and let herself cry for the girl she'd been and for Howard who was fighting for his life and for the fact that seeing Jeff again had broken something inside her that she thought was already dead.

She cried until she had no tears left and her pillow was soaked and her throat was raw.

And even then the pain didn't stop.