Chapter Three- Her reality

“Mum”, Carissa suddenly called out to her mother, a few steps away from the door that led to the main entrance of the wedding location.

“Yes my dear”, Mrs. Williams replied as she stopped walking to peer into her daughter’s beautiful eyes.

“Can we wait a little more? I guess I’m becoming so nervous that my stomach is beginning to ache”, Carissa said and chucked nervously, lowering her eyes to the floor to hide the tears that welled up in them.

“Oh my dear!” Mrs. Williams chimed in and placed her hands on Carissa’s forehead; in a bid to check her temperature.

“The guests are waiting already. Do you think you would be better in the next ten minutes?” Her mother asked while she nodded her head in affirmation.

“The bride would be out in the next ten minutes”, Mrs. Williams informed the man who stood by the door to open it up for the bride.

Retracing their steps back, they made their way to the room they had come out from.

Once Carissa was back in the room, she let out a considerable sigh of relief and quickly walked to the window.

She felt totally uneasy and nervous, that every bone in her felt frail.

“Take in a deep breath, my dear”, Mrs. Williams said to Carissa, who obliged.

“I’m sorry, mum. I’m just trying to get a hold of myself before heading out. I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself due to how nervous or anxious I feel”, Carissa explained while her mother chuckled and stared at her in admiration.

That was far from the truth and Carissa knew it.

Deep down her heart, she hoped that Stan would show up and tell her that he still loves her.

She remembered the last time they had seen each other. It was on a rainy day in June.

They had gone out to get some coffee. With an umbrella in their hands, they walked quietly on the street.

It was a year already, but the memories of that day could never leave her heart.

“You should go on and explore. I may not be the best for you”, Stan had told her as they stood side by side each other under the rain.

She had thought that he was only being sarcastic. However, the reality dawned on her when she couldn’t get through him on calls and via text.

“It’s a year already! What are you thinking?” She asked herself as goosebumps made its way to her skin.

She usually felt a tingly and cold sensation whenever she thought of Stan, and this never stopped happening to her.

“Ethan is a good guy. You would grow to love him”, Carissa said inwardly as she closed her eyes and took in another deep breath.

She could hear the noise that came from the clock, and it only signified that the ten minutes would soon elapse.

Mrs. Williams studied her daughter closely, wishing that she could have a glimpse of the series of thoughts that clouded her mind.

She was a mother who loved her daughter and as such, it pierced her heart when she sees that something is wrong with her daughter; without an idea of what it is.

“Carissa, you are not okay, you can’t hide that from me. Sit down, we still have about five minutes from the ten”, Mrs. Williams said to Carissa, who nodded her head calmly and walked over to the chair facing her mother.

“How exactly do you feel?” Her mother inquired, peering piercingly into her eyes.

“Nervous”, Carissa replied.

“What else?”

“Scared”, Carissa added.

She was trying so hard to avoid spewing out the main word that encapsulated how she felt. She was exhausted and that was undoubtedly how she felt.

“Is that all?” Her mother asked calmly, while she nodded in affirmation.

“Then it’s normal, my dear”, she said as she walked towards the table and grabbed a bottled water.

“Have some water, you would feel better”, she said and handed the water over to Carissa who gulped down a large quantity from it.

“How do you feel?” Her mother asked as she held her hands and caressed them slightly.

“I feel alive!” Carissa said and broke into a loud fabricated laughter.

Her mother joined in soon and for the next seconds, they laughed so hard.

“You will be fine. I know you will”, Mrs. Williams said as she smiled widely at Carissa.

“I felt the exact way you feel now the day I was to get married. Your father was someone I barely knew and so, I was highly nervous on the day I was to tie the knot”, she started explaining to Carissa who was trying so hard to hide how bored she felt.

This was probably the hundredth time she got to hear such a story from her mother and this time, she was truly exhausted.

“Focus on building a sweet and admirable world with your husband and children. That’s the secret to happiness”, she assured Carissa, who nodded her head in affirmation.

“Thank you mum”, Carissa said, smiling slightly as though she had listened to her mother’s utterances.

Her mind was carried away all through the conversation because all she thought of was how she was about to tie the knot with someone she wasn’t in love with.

“I guess that’s your reality, Carissa”, she said to herself as she braced up to face the reality that stood before her.

“I guess the stomach ache and anxiety is gone already. I feel so alive and ready to take this huge step”, she said as she stood to her feet.

Mrs. Williams slowly trudged towards her and pulled her into a warm hug.

“You will be fine”, she said for the hundredth time, after which she held Carissa’s wrist and together, they walked towards the door that led to the entrance.

“You look so beautiful”, everyone who caught a glimpse of Carissa gushed out in admiration while she smiled and mouthed a “thank you”.