Truths In The Dark

Liora’s POV

Sebastian hadn’t slept at all.

I could tell from the way his eyes stared at the ceiling, the tension still clinging to his shoulders even though the pain medication should have dulled it by now.

‘Does it still hurt?’ I asked quietly, standing by the door.

‘It always does,’ he didn’t look at me.

I stepped inside anyway and he didn’t tell me to leave this time.

It’s been a week now since his discharge from the hospital. The doctors have come for assessing, and they noted that he was recuperating very well.

He had his bad days, when he wouldn’t talk to me and grumble like a child. On the good days, he would cling to my presence, not wanting me out of his sight, and falling asleep with our hands linked.

It was exhausting, but being close to him made me relax. We talked about trivial things on the good days, and the bed bathing… I tried not to think about that too much.

The maid who had brought that dress for me that day had also been helpful, giving me meal advice that could help Sebastian recuperate better. Her name was Giselle- as I later found out.

I sat on the chair beside the bed now, clasping my hands together so I wouldn’t reach for him without thinking.

Today didn’t seem like a good day.

‘You hate this,’ I looked at him.

‘Hate what?’ He asked.

‘Needing someone.’

A short mirthless laugh left him. ‘Needing people is how you lose things. They disappoint you, or they leave.’

My thoughts went to Vivienne again but I held my thoughts. I sighed, still clasping my hands together. ‘Who taught you that?’

His jaw tightened. He was quiet for so long I thought he wouldn’t answer.

‘My father,’ he answered eventually. ‘If I cried he called it weakness. If I failed- a test or something, he’d always remind me who paid for everything I had.’

‘That’s a heavy thing to grow up with,’ I swallowed.

‘It made me what I am,’ he replied.

‘I think it made you afraid,’ I corrected him gently.

He turned to me and for a moment I thought he might snap. But he didn’t. Instead, his expression softened- a little.

‘I don’t like feeling out of control,’ he told me. ‘It makes me feel like everything could be taken away from me again.’

Again? I felt like asking more questions, but I didn’t want to probe. So silence followed, thick but not uncomfortable.

‘I understand that,’ I finally spoke.

‘You do?’ His brow creased.

I nodded slowly. ‘When you’re hurt once, you either disappear or learn how to adapt before it happens again.

‘Who hurt you Liora?’ He studied me, his eyes sharp but tired.

‘I don’t like talking about it,’ I said honestly.

‘I know.’

My throat tightened.

‘Ever since dad married her, I’d never known a kind word from her,’ I continued. ‘And when she finally had her Camille, it became worse. They were always cruel and cold. When father had his stroke and became almost unrecognizable, everything came with conditions. If I spoke too much, if I wanted too much, I paid for it.’

Sebastian’s hands curled against the sheets.

‘Did they ever raise their hands on you?’ He asked.

‘Not often,’ I replied. ‘They didn’t need to.’

‘You shouldn’t have gone through that alone,’ he said quietly.

‘Everything I did, I did for my father,’ I looked at him squarely.

‘You shouldn’t have had to,’ he responded.

I stood to adjust his pillow, being careful to avoid his ribs. My fingers brushed against his shoulders and I pulled back instinctively.

He caught my wrist, with his eyes boring into mine.

‘I’m not good at this,’ he confessed, ‘being like this. Letting someone see me like this.’

‘I know,’ I whispered.’

His thumb brushed my wrist.

‘You don’t look at me like I’m untouchable,’ he murmured.

‘Because you’re not,’ I said. ‘I’ve seen a side of you that tells me you’ve just been pretending for too long.’

His breath caught. For a second, he drew my wrist close to his lips, close enough that I felt his warmth and the fight inside him.

The bedroom door opened that instant, making him pull away abruptly.

It was Vivienne, and her bright smile darkened when she saw me holding hands with her fiancé.

‘Get some rest,’ Sebastian said softly to me. ‘You should sleep.’

I nodded, and walked out, knowing he just wanted me to leave.

From my bedroom, I could hear the quarrels between them- loud and fierce. I tried not to listen in, but I could still hear the angry talks, mostly from Vivienne.

The words were incomprehensible from where I was, but I could feel the anger in them. Then the door slammed, followed by footsteps and complete silence.

Not wanting to intrude, but still trying to make sure Sebastian was all right, I waited awhile, then walked towards the door of his bedroom and pressed my ear against it.

The place was silent save for a ragged breathing. I knocked twice and when no one answered, I entered.

Sebastian was still on his bed, his expression hardened.

‘Is she…’ I paused, before restructuring my question. ‘Are you okay?’

His gaze flicked to me, and for a second I was afraid he might snap at me. But his expression softened once he saw me.

‘I’m just tired,’ he sighed. ‘I can’t continue being like this.’

‘You’ll get better,’ I assured him. ‘It just takes time.’

He scoffed and looked the other way.

‘Get me my cell phone,’ he said after a while.

I retrieved it from the table and gave it to him before leaving the room, closing the door gently.

I had barely began to move back to my room, when I heard his voice drift down the hallway, making me pause in my tracks.

It seemed he was talking to another person over the phone.

‘Find everything you can about her,’ he told the person.

There was a pause.

‘Her family, everything about her past.’

Another pause.

‘No, not to use it against her,’ he added before his voice dropped lower.

‘To make sure no one ever does it again.’