Betrayal

I look up at him in disgust. There’s no way that could be true. Tom wouldn't hurt our child. Even if he doesn't love me, this is his legitimate heir.

Another nurse smirks a little at whatever expression I wear on my face.

She whispers, “It’s true. Why do you think he put you in here? He needs you out of the picture so you don’t mess up his new relationship.”

The male nurse laughs quietly, “An institutionalized wife is a great reason for a no-fault divorce.”

“You don’t know that. He wouldn’t tell you that,” I ration quickly. He put me in here to avoid divorce... didn't he?

“We heard him talking to Dr. Golfe in his office.” The woman says, “I’d feel bad for you, but since you’ve gotten here, you’ve seduced half the nursing staff and doctors, and many of the patients. This is what happens when you seduce a man for money but aren’t enough to hold him.”

“When did I—” I start, but Dr. Kyle returns to work.

“Can you feel this, Mrs. Samson?” She asks. I can't feel what she is doing.

“It doesn’t matter,” Dr. Golfe snaps, “Mr. Hayden wants this done today.”

"Why would you numb me for a paternity test?" No one answers my question. The cruel words of the nurses echo in my head. “Is this an abortion? Are you giving me an abortion?!” I screech.

My stomach suddenly drops, but I feel it tighten in place at the same time. All the strength in my body goes numb.

“Mrs. Samson, please!” Dr. Kyle pleads as I start to fight.

“You lied,” I gasp, “you’re not supposed to lie!”

“I apologize. I did it for your safety and—”

Dr. Golfe cuts off Dr. Kyle’s words, “Mrs. Hayden, you are in no shape to consent. Mr. Hayden is your guardian and has priority decision on your treatments.”

“That can’t be real. That’s not real!” I scream, but a nurse turns up the anaesthesia and I suddenly feel my body lifting from where it lies. I feel dissociated.

“Can you continue?” Dr. Golfe asks Dr. Kyle. Dr. Kyle hesitates but I feel and hear her changing tools. I want to scream more, but my words are incoherent whimpers. I want to thrash but my body is rendered still. I can feel my eyes burn as I start to cry.

Tom knows I want a family. He knows how bad I wanted to get pregnant. How could he do this to me? Why would he do this to me? Why would these people do this if he hadn’t asked them to?  I want to fight more but finally I surrender.

Fine. I know I should talk to Tom before believing gossip from nurses and doctors, but their words make sense. Tom's input won't matter in a few minutes.

Once this is done, it won't matter if he directly or indirectly caused it. Even if he doesn't want to kill our baby... I'm here because he wants me to be. They can kill our child because he gave them access and control over me.

Could their words be true? As I settle and let sorrow take over my body, the nurse's words start making more sense.

He leaves me to suffer. I asked him for a divorce and he sent me back here. If this is his way of making it a no-fault divorce, fine. But why must I stay here? Isn’t two years enough to convince a court I’m insane?

If he doesn’t want a baby with me, can’t he leave me? Claim my child belongs to another patient or doctor. It has nothing to do with him. Just leave me to rebuild whatever might be left of my life out there. Why is he doing this to me?

Dr. Kyle pauses only because of a commotion outside the room.

Arguing, yelling, and a few items being tossed around. Dr. Kyle looks at Dr. Golfe and asks, “is everything okay?”

Before Dr. Golfe can check, the doors to the room crash open.

I don’t look at the intruders. I don’t care. My entire world has crashed around me. I can die now and I won’t be upset.

I feel hands on each of my arms and look up into the intense eyes above me.

“Are you insane?!” Tom shouts from above me. Why is he here now?

Is it to watch my suffering? Or is this another nightmare, brought on by pain and anaesthesia? I want to reach up to see if his face is real, but my hand is tied down.

“What makes you think you can kill our child?!” Is there fear in his eyes? Or am I imagining?

Instead, I whisper, “I don’t want your baby either.”

His face contorts into something filled with pain and anger. With his jaw clenched, he away from me and shouts, “everyone get out!”

I glance up weakly as the room quickly empties. Tom has Dr. Golfe - suddenly wide-eyed and nervous- by the collar of his scrubs. “what gave you the right to touch my wife?”

“She’s my patient.” Dr. Golfe, who rarely sees me unless Tom is around, says, “I have to respect her wishes.”

“I don’t care if she wants you to cut off her leg or give her an aspirin. Every decision regarding my wife goes through me first, is that clear?!” Tom’s voice is rugged and deep. Anger laces every word.

“You did agree,” Dr. Golfe says, “your assistant sent us your signed consent form this morning.”

“Oh…” Tom blinks and releases the doctor, his eyes a little lost.

April, I realise. For a moment of watching him, I almost thought he might be upset about the abortion. A part of me sits here hoping this is a misunderstanding. Maybe it is.

But if it’s one caused by April, how could he stay mad? April doesn’t want the baby. So it makes sense she’d have him sign the consent form. Is that really what happened? Or is he such a scum bag that I can’t even guess what he’s talking about anymore?

“Tom,” I breathe, wanting him to reassure me. Wanting desperately to be wrong. Wanting all of this to be some kind of misunderstanding. But really, how could it be? He locked me in here. He sees the state I’m in regularly and he’s fine with it.

He turns to me, his eyes bitter and full of disgust. His voice is low and calm but filled with vile loathing, “put her in a padded cell. Make sure she eats. Don’t let anyone in to see her.”

And he walks out.

Dr. Golfe gives me one last glance before following him out.

I lay my head back on the operating table and let my eyes close slowly. Tears start in my eyes. I used to search my memory for signs he'd become like this. I found very little. 

It doesn't matter anymore, though. All that matters is my sorrow and regret.