Chapter 1: Who is the Father?

My heart is pounding so damn hard that I can barely breathe.

I slowly turned on my heel, hoping that the man is a big womanizer who sleeps with women and forgets them afterward. I don’t think I can swallow the embarrassment if he would recognize me as that wild virgin girl in the Coven bar three weeks ago. I can vaguely remember the details, but I recalled how he cursed loudly when he realized it was my first time.

“Damn, my patience can’t afford to fuck a virgin,” those were the words he muttered to himself as he did his best to slow down because I was tearing up in pain.

I gripped the strap of my shoulder bag as I faced the man. I could hear my heartbeat ringing in my ears but I tried to maintain a straight face.

My wobbly knees wobbled a little more when my gaze met his deep blue eyes.

“Sorry for that, sir! I was too careless and caused you inconvenience!” I bowed my head three times to mess up my hair so he won’t recognize me in case he has a sharp mind.

“Look at me,” he demanded when I kept on looking down after apologizing.

I gritted my teeth. I know I did a mistake, right! I will take responsibility for my child but why do I have to meet this man again? Is fate playing with me?

I panicked when he started walking toward me.

“Excuse me, sir! I have to go!” I said before he can take a closer look at my face and ran as fast as I could. I didn’t have my car with me but thankfully a taxi came to my aid.

Instead of going straight home, I went to the pharmacy and bought a pregnancy kit. Then went to my best friend's house.

****

I was stunned for a moment and slowly opened my eyes hoping that the two lines from the pregnancy kit I was holding wouldn't show. I know the doctor has confirmed it but I want to check it myself, hoping that the doctor was wrong.

I shook my head and stared at the pregnancy test I was holding. It slowly slipped from my frail fingers. I covered my mouth as my tears poured down my cheeks.

I can't believe that at my young age I ended up pregnant early without finishing my studies. There’s no way you can raise the baby alone, Lily! How stupid of you to get pregnant! I yelled in my mind as I stared at the mirror with my endless tears dropping to the floor.

I closed my eyes tightly and thought of what I could do, but only one thing came to my mind, to abort the child from my womb, but instead of feeling better, it seemed to get worse, to abort this baby will never be a good thing, and it won't help my problem.

"Lily?" I hid the result of my negligence in my pocket and immediately straightened myself up before going out of the room.

I immediately ran downstairs to see Nina and to tell her about this. She’s my best friend and I know she’s someone I can trust. She plastered a smile showing her white porcelain set of teeth which only added to the weight and sadness I feel now. I'm sure she will be angry with me but I don’t want to keep secrets from her because she’s like a sister to me.

So when I got to the living room I immediately hugged Nina. I know she's wondering what I'm doing now but it's up to her she needs to know everything but I don't know where or how to start. I was afraid of what could happen, but there was only one thing I had to do. I need to face this problem and own up to it!

"Lily? Is there a problem?" Even though I was hugging her, I knew she was worried about me. I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh. I withdrew from the hug and I handed her the pregnancy kit.

"Nina, it’s p-positive…" My hands were shaking as I showed it to her. Her jaw dropped to her stomach when her gaze dropped to the thing on my hand.

She looked at the pregnancy test with a frown and like me, she also held her mouth, disappointment written all over her face. I felt the dread crawling under my skin.

"What the heck? You're pregnant?!" Her chest moved up and down when she grabbed the kit from me and stared at it in disbelief.

"What the hell is this, Lily? Who is the father? Of course, you won’t get pregnant alone," she emphasized the word 'alone' through clenched teeth "You broke up with Blake months ago remember? So how accurate is this kit?" she added as she faked a laugh "Don't be ridiculous!"

"Ha! This can't be! What have you done? Are you crazy?! Don't you know that because of what you are carrying, you may not be able to graduate!" She half-shouted and held back every word that could come out of her lips.

I started to cry. I didn't want it either. Everything that happened was an accident. I sat down on the sofa while holding the pregnancy test, even though I still couldn't believe that it was happening.

"Who is the father of your unborn child? What went through your mind? What happened, Lily! Gosh! Are you out of your mind? Where the hell did you put your brain? You promised to your mom to finish your studies before having a baby and now, look at you! This is unbelievable! You are unbelievable Lily!" Nina held her breath and asked me a question that even I myself do not know the answer. All I know is that my life has changed dramatically, drastically and unexpectedly in just one single night with this little kit I'm holding right now! and I have no idea how to even solve it on my own.

I bowed my head, couldn’t answer the questions Nina was throwing at me. I know she’s very furious now and any wrong word would just worsen her anger. I just silently cried, feeling ashamed for the big mistake I did. And the fact that I don’t even know who the father of my child is made everything worse.

"What now? Why can't you speak? What happened to you? You are smart, Lily! How did you end up in this messed up situation? Tell me, I'm all ears.”

 I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. What the hell did I get into?

"It was…" I paused, breathing heavily. I bit my lower lip, my heart was pounding hard on my chest as I continued, "It was just an accident.”

"What! Accident? Are you telling me that you just ran into a cock in the city streets which got you pregnant?" I couldn't see in her face if she was angry because of the sarcastic remarks she said just now. But I can't blame her for that all my life, she's always by my side and she's like my sister for the time we've been together.

"I'm sorry,” I croaked and gently wiped the tears that wouldn't stop falling from my eyes.

"What am I going to do?" My mind is confused, it's depressing how can I raise this child when I don't have a job because I'm still studying, she broke away from the hug and looked at me.

"Shh it's ok, now tell me what happened." She smiled at me and I sighed.