Chapter 5

ADRIAN

Silence.

It was a luxury I was beginning to appreciate over the past few days.

The moment I stepped into my apartment and closed the door behind me, the silence settled around me like a warm, familiar blanket.

It was kind of funny how things changed so quickly.

Just two weeks ago, this house had been filled with noise and laughter and the kind of easy presence that only two people that had been together for years could manage.

And now… nothing. It was just me now.

Just like it has been for most of my life.

It was fine, though. Because this was exactly how I preferred it.

Or at least… That was what I kept telling myself.

I placed my briefcase on the table before loosening my tie. Everything looked exactly the way I’d left them this morning— neat, organized, spotless. Not a single dirty plate in the sink. Not a single cushion out of place.

Some people found comfort in chaos, I found comfort in order. Because that was the only thing that was constant and predictable. The only thing that could be completely controlled.

I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water.

Halfway through drinking it, my phone vibrated against the countertop.

My stomach churned as I stared at the call screen.

Dylan.

The name alone was enough to make my mood plummet. Even further than that arrogant idiot, Lucas Carter, had already achieved.

For a second, I considered ignoring the call. Nothing good could come out of speaking to Dylan again. It wasn’t like the past few times have exactly been fruitful.

But against my better judgement, I answered.

“What?”

My voice sounded surly even to my own ears.

A sigh came through the speaker. “Is that how you’re greeting me now?”

My fingers gripped the phone tighter. The sound of his voice filling my ears made familiar emotions rush to the surface. 

No matter how hard I tried to bury them, it didn’t work. Five years. Five years of trying to make things work. Five years of thinking I’d found the perfect partner.

All gone down the drain.

“You lost the right to expect anything better,” I replied coldly.

The audacity of him. After everything he did, he was lucky I even spoke to him at all.

I’d cut people off for less.

“I just wanted to talk.”

“We have nothing left to talk about.”

“I still have some things at the apartment.”

I glanced toward the hallway closet. I’d gathered some of his things in a box. Some clothes, an old guitar, a collection of books he’d insisted he would come back for.

The box had been sitting there untouched for days.

I cleared my throat. “I’ll have them delivered.”

“I can come get them. You don’t have to—”

“I do.”

Silence.

Then another sigh came down the line. “You’re still angry.”

I let out a laugh. It didn’t sound amused.

“You slept with someone else, Dylan,” I hissed. “Someone you reassured me was just a sister to you.”

“It’s not as easy as you’re making it sound. I—”

“Enough. I don’t want to discuss this any further.”

“Adrian—”

“I said enough.”

Another silence.

Then he spoke again. “I didn’t call to fight.”

“Then why did you?”

“... I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose as my chest twisted. Once upon a time, I’d have believed him. There was a time when those words would have made me melt.

That time was long gone.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“I’m hanging up, Dylan.”

“Adrian.”

I closed my eyes briefly. “What?”

“You don’t have to send my things. I’ll come get them. And also…” There was a long pause. “I’m sorry.”

Sorry. It was a word I’d said numerous times in my life. A word I’d since come to hate.

It was useless because it didn’t change anything. What was done was done and it couldn’t be taken back.

And with Dylan saying it now, it couldn’t have sounded anymore redundant.

It was too late. 

He was thirteen days too late.

So, I replied to Dylan with the words someone once told me: “It doesn’t matter.”

Click.

The apartment became silent again as I hung up the call.

I stared at the dark screen in my hand for several long moments before placing the phone face down on the counter.

I rubbed both hands over my face. I should have felt better.

Instead, I just felt tired.

An hour later, I forced myself to deal with the rest of Dylan’s things, arranging them into another box.

Halfway through it, I discovered a framed photograph of us. It was taken during our second anniversary.

We both looked young. Dylan had his arm around my shoulders and we were both smiling.

We looked really happy.

Who knew then that it wasn’t going to last? I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled like that.

I turned the frame over before I could look any longer. Straight into the box it went.

It took me a long time to gather all of Dylan’s things but I eventually managed it.

I let out a huge sigh when I was done.

It was deeply stressful but necessary. It felt like a chapter was closed in my life.

Forever.

I took a shower and I poured myself tea, settling myself on the couch in the living room.

I stared at the city lights blinking beyond my apartment window as I sipped from the mug.

Usually, evenings like this were peaceful. Tonight, they weren’t.

Those words kept drifting back to me.

“I’m starting to think that’s what you’ve grown comfortable doing. Pushing people away.”

I gritted my teeth. 

That pain-in-the-ass Lucas Carter.

I hated how easily he’d uttered those words.

He said them as though he’d known me for years instead of a single night. As though he had any right.

He didn’t.

He knew nothing.

Nothing about the wedding invitations still sitting in the bottom drawer of my desk because I still couldn’t bring myself to throw them away.

Nothing about waking up one morning and discovering the future you spent years planning no longer existed.

He knew absolutely nothing.

My phone buzzed again.

This time it was an email.

I caught a little bit of the contents from the notification screen.

My heart raced as I registered at the email ID.

Lucas Carter.

Subject: I think you owe me an explanation, Professor.

I read the words in his voice.

I didn’t dare to open the email.

Fear coiled tight in my stomach like a deadly snake.

For a second, I thought about quitting working at the university. But that wasn’t a good idea.

Working at Westview was good for starting out my career. It was good for networking. Good for my CV. Good for the department.

Still, I couldn’t focus on all those things.

Instead, all I could picture was ash-blond hair. Brown eyes. That cocky smile on his face.

And his voice saying, “I don’t regret any of what happened.”

I powered off my phone without clicking into the email.

Tomorrow.

I’d answer tomorrow.

Tonight… I wasn’t sure I trusted myself to make the right decision.