Causing Harm To My Body

Chapter 4- Causing Harm To My Body

My eyes traveled to where the voice came from and I was so stunned to say anything.

A naked back. Broad shoulders. And… a perfectly bare butt. Smooth. Strong. Catching the light the way polished marble does — unreal, like something sculpted rather than born.

I froze. Then blinked. Then blinked again.

Was I dreaming? Had I died? What in the name of the Moon was I looking at?

“…oh—shit,” I breathed before I could stop it. My hand flew to my mouth. It was already too late.

He turned sharply.

I didn’t even get to see his full face before his voice crashed into me.

“Answer me!” he barked. The force of it made my knees threaten to fold.

“I—!” The word tore out of me with a gasp as I bowed my head on instinct, shaking.

“No—no, sir, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to come in here,” I stammered, the words falling over each other. “I wasn’t the one who keeps coming to watch you. I just arrived today — I swear — I’ve never even been to this side of the pack before now.”

I immediately knelt down as I kept my eyes glued to the floor. I didn’t dare look again. My heart was pounding so hard it hurt.

“And I’m supposed to believe that?” he asked with his voice filled with disbelief..

My mind spun in circles.

“I swear on my dead parents, this was the first time that I have ever stepped in this room.”

“It’s shameful,” he said, each word dripping with disgust. “For your parents to be dead, and you swearing on their names like it means anything. The way you behave, I doubt they’re even resting in peace.”

His words hit me. Pain swelled up in my throat, pushing hot tears to my eyes.

How could he say that? He didn’t know them at all. He didn’t know me. He had no clue about the fire that took them, or how I’d spent every night wishing I could remember their faces, their voices.

And now, he was dragging their memory through the mud, like it was trash. It hurt so deep.

I stayed quiet. What could I even say? I was just a nobody, a sold-off girl in a slave uniform.

Then his voice cut through again.

“How should I deal with you?”

My whole body went stiff. Deal with me? What did that mean? My mind raced with scary thoughts—whips, chains, dark cells.

I’d heard stories about packs like this, where omegas like me disappeared and no one asked questions.

He chuckled, a low, dark sound that sent chills down my spine.

“Tell me. I want suggestions. Since you’re already in this much trouble, you might as well help me decide your punishment.”

My heart stopped dead. Suggestions? From me? What was I supposed to say?

Yes, sir, please beat me until I can’t walk? Or lock me away forever?

“Please…” I whispered, shaking violently. “Please forgive me. I promise, I swear—it won’t ever happen again. It was a mistake. I was scared and rushed in without thinking. Please… let me go. I still need to meet the Alpha.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“Why?”

“Why should I forgive you?” he asked again, his tone mocking. “Give me one good reason.”

I had nothing. No good reason at all. Who was I to deserve mercy? I stayed frozen, my hands clasped tight together, my knees aching from the hard floor.

“Do you even know the punishment,” he said slowly, drawing out each word like he enjoyed the taste of them, “for walking in on someone important, naked without knocking?”

I shook my head fast, too terrified to speak. My imagination ran wild—horrible images of blood and screams.

He gave me a cruel smirk, one that made my stomach twist.

“It’s simple,” he said. “We cut off your fingers. One at a time. The same fingers you refused to use to knock on my door.”

I gasped loud, clutching my hands to my chest like someone had already pulled out a sharp blade.

“No… no, please,” I whimpered, my voice cracking into pieces. “My hands… my body… it’s the only thing I have left. Please don’t…”

“Sir, please! Forgive me! I’m so sorry! I swear I’ll never, ever make that mistake again. Please don’t hurt me. Don’t take my fingers. I’ll do anything. I’ll be careful. I’ll knock a thousand times if you want. Just don’t…”

But it was like my words bounced off him, meaningless. He didn’t move, didn’t soften.

“LOOK at me!” he snapped suddenly, his voice booming.

“I said, look at me this very instant!”

I lifted my head slow, my neck shaking and———

My cheeks burned hot, like they were on fire. Goddess, help me.

Even in my panic, I couldn’t ignore how he looked.

I quickly turned my eyes away, mortified.

Goddess, help me.

The man had the audacity to look like a carved god in the middle of my breakdown.

His muscles. His body. His—

No. I forced myself to focus.

I took a deep breath and finally dared to look into his eyes.

“You have two options, whoever you are—because frankly, I’m not interested in learning your name.”

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat like a rock.

“Either I take you to the pack chamber right now and report you for spying on me…”

My heart plunged into my stomach.

“…or you apologize to me—in my own way.”

My mind blanked out completely.

Everything stopped.

“Apologize… in my own way.”

What on earth did that mean?

No… please, he couldn’t mean that. Did he want me to… touch him? Or worse?

No, Lena, stop. You’re jumping to conclusions. Maybe it’s something else, like cleaning his room.

But the way he stared, that slow, wicked smile creeping on his lips… it didn’t feel innocent. Not one bit.

My voice came out cracked and small.

“P-please… what way?” I asked, barely able to hold his gaze.

“Just… just let me go. Please,” I begged again.

But he only smirked wider like he was enjoying every bit of this.

“I’m not letting you go,” he said slow and calm. “And you’ll find out what I mean… very soon.”

He started walking toward me.

Still half naked.

My heart leaped into my throat, pounding wild.

I panicked hard. I scrambled to my feet, almost tripping over my own shaky legs, and backed up fast.

But with every step I took back… he took two forward, closing the gap.

No.

No, no, no.

This couldn’t be real. My mind screamed for escape, but there was none..

My back slammed into the door behind me.

I reached back, fingers fumbling desperate for the handle.

Why was it so hard to open now? Panic clawed at me.

I was trapped.

My breaths came quick and shallow. Fresh tears blurred my vision.

“Please… Moon Goddess… not like this,” I whispered to myself, but it felt useless, like my prayers were lost in the wind.

He reached me.

His bare chest was right there, inches from my face. So close I could see the drops of water still clinging to his skin from whatever bath he’d been in.

He smelled so good.

His wet hair fell over his forehead, messy and wild, a few strands dripping slow.

And Goddess… his lips. Soft pink, full, curved just right. They didn’t match the threat in his eyes at all.

I hated that I noticed. Hated that in the middle of my fear, my body reacted weird.

My heart hammered so loud, I bet he heard it echoing.

He leaned in closer, his face now so near mine. His eyes locked on, intense, like he was reading every secret in my soul.

“So…” he whispered, his voice low and husky. “Are you ready to pay… in kind?”

I couldn’t speak a word.

I didn’t want to “pay” anything. All I craved was to run back to that tiny room they gave me, hide under the thin blanket, and never peek out until someone assigned me a safe job that is far from him.

He leaned even closer, and I squeezed my eyes shut tight, bracing for whatever came.

Was he going to kiss me? Force it? My mind whirled with dread.

But instead…

His mouth moved not to my lips, but to my ear.

His lips brushed my skin. His warm breath sent shivers racing down my spine.

He whispered, slow and deep, each word tingling against me:

“What am I going to do with you… little spy?”

My eyes squeezed tighter still.

His voice was dirty, teasing, wrapping around me like smoke.

I didn’t get what was happening to my body. A strange heat built inside, confusing and wrong.

A soft moan escaped my lips—before I could clamp it down.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

Why did that slip out? Shame flooded me hot.

I wanted the floor to crack open and pull me under.

He pulled back slow, his eyes dropping to my lips now.

His mouth hovered just an inch away. So close I could almost taste his breath.

My heart slammed against my ribs, air stuck in my lungs—

And then—

BAM!

The door burst open behind me, shoving me forward a bit.

“Why aren’t you ready yet? And who is this lowlife?”