11— Oh! Shiv Ji, please no, how? why?“At some time, everyone wants to be understood by someone. But no one is trying to understand the other. Why? If you really want to be understood: try to understand first.” — Saumya Tripathi “No..no..no..No!” I woke up with a jolt, sweating. My heart felt as if it wanted to jump out of my chest. Awash with perplexity and dread, I tried to grasp the bits and pieces of the situation. Deflating through my mouth, I took deep and long breaths to calm the restlessness I felt taking place inside. Was that a dream? Still somewhere between half awake and half asleep, I pondered over, slightly confused and bothersome about the whole ordeal. It had to be. However, the vividness of the scene from the dream made my body tingle with fear and anxiety. I was certainly uncertain about what I saw. It took me a while to confirm that it was, in fact, a dream. More like a nightmare must I add. Had it not been a dream I definitely would have been having a heart a
Part two. It was now beginning to drizzle slightly after the full-blown downpour, however, not after a long period, it started to downpour heavily yet again with a bellowing cold- chilly wind, promptly. It was too cold and the downpour was not making it any better with the chilly climate and cold air. Despite my layers of clothes, I shivered. Oh, how I had loved the rain when it used to pour on our foyer with my parents sitting by my side sharing cheerful movements of nostalgia. Bringing my hasty mind out from the rejoicing thoughts which I had shared with my happy family back to the ugliest truth of life, I blinked rapidly trying to change the vision that had me breaking into even more little pieces. Venturing my groggy eyes to look outside the window for the familiar face of my uncle, but to my dismay, I met with unknown faces of the group of people that were already buzzy in their own little world. I sighed deeply. My shoulder slouched at the desperate attempt to glance out of th
12— Unbidden departure! (Part- 1)“It was darkness: blinding with absolute rage, ache and emptiness. Everything felt constricted, everything felt out of place, out of reach, nothing seems right anymore, nothing seems to matter anymore. The power once felt so potent, so strong— felt like a thin thread of broken trust, bond and loyalty. Everything felt like the gripping darkness of the night, nibbling on the outside to reach the insides to take control. To take control of the mind; the grasping silence that has billions of emotions overpowering each other felt— an immense amount of numbness, surrounding it: surrounding the psyche in a death grip.” — Saumya Tripathi •• November 3 Location— Cantt station, Varanasi. Timing— 3:27 a.m “If you came here to take us back then you are highly mistaken,” my voice came out stronger contrary to what I felt inside. “We are waiting for my uncle to receive us,” I emphasised. “We are going home.” His unruly hair seemed messed up and wet with a f
13— Unbidden departure! (Part- 2) “The fact that people do not learn from the mistakes of History is the most important lesson of History.” — Aldous Huxley “Try to hurry up, little bird,” he had said before leaving. “No,” I shook my head a little. Sometimes when we think we have choices, is the very time we realise that we have none. Because what is lotted cannot be bloated. We have our ups, and we have our downs yet we stick together in the hope of coming out from such disquieting situations. Blinking several times, a soft gasp left the space of my lips. Although my mind bolted with questions and disbelief, there were certain parts where I already knew what had happened yet I was too late to accept it. I was just in the phase of denial of what actually had happened. Because at the end of the day I was nothing but a human with a tormented head. “Actually we both will be waiting for you. Come soon.” His voice kept on reverberating inside my head. What? What happene
14— Talks and beseeching! (Part-1)“Now, I totally don't believe in: the ‘eyes' are the souls of human beings because I have met a lot of people in life with warmth in their eyes and monsters residing inside them.” —Saumya Tripathi “Who are you?” I breathed, quivering in the cold. “What do you want from us?” Trying to force back some air into the lungs, I whisper-yelled. “So you think, it is easy for me to just trust a complete stranger without any questions asked and be compliant with what has been asked of me?” “No,” he finally forced out the words. “But you should know I will never let any harm come to you or your brother if you listen to what I say.” “What if I say: you're the one who has been hurting us by forcing us to stay with you?” Even in the storm-crashing weather, there was an eerie silence at that moment. I waited for his reply. “It's the only way to protect you.” “Protect me from what exactly?” I burst into tears. “It is you who we want protection from!” He was
15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2) “We judge people as it is obvious psychology of humans to do so. But the question is: is it worth it? To judge everyone based on how they look? By how do they present themselves? By how do they choose to act? Because some people ought to be felt rather than observed. As you truly cannot judge people by their outer layers, that would be so unfair, some people should only be gazed upon by their hearts instead of eyes.” — Saumya Tripathi “However, if I have to, I will. But you already know that. Don't you?” I did. His deep, uncaring tone sent chills down my spine. “It totally depends upon what you choose.” He waited. “Either it is your way or mine but the path needs to be the same.” Anger spiked in my stomach as if molten lava had been kept in it. I needed to get over this. I needed to get away from him. I had to get over it as quickly as possible. I had to! Because I didn't have much of a choice. As if knowing my state, the breeze picked up.
16— Home but not ours! In the longest silence that followed, he wanted to tell her a thousand things. . . . Beginning with a plea that she could stay. The need to beg, pulsed in his veins. Yet, hoping against hope, he wished she stayed. — Saumya Tripathi “If it were on me, I would never come with you.” “That's a fortunate thing it isn't on you then,” he bent and whispered in my ear. “Otherwise that would have turned out to be such a disappointment. Wouldn't you agree?” His words were like a dagger piercing through the heart. With a touch of poison rooted into the tone, I inched back. “Why?” There was a catch in my tone that I wanted him to know what he wanted from me. I would never give him willingly. Not until when I knew I still had a fight left in me. “Why are you torturing me like this?” He clenched his jaws while levelling with me with an angry frown. Moving closer, he leaned towards me, his hand capturing almost the whole of my already wet face, “Because it's the only
17— Answers are what I seek! “Hope is a natural feeling because when you have hope; you are never a prisoner to anybody.” — Saumya Tripathi How ironic was it to actually understand: why the most dangerous place for humans was their own working minds? Wasn't it? It could do both: soothe you with positive thoughts or mentally crumble you into pieces with its overthinking negative skills. It won't take much but everything out of a person that has to offer before laying them bare and empty and insane with no sense of knowledge about their surroundings. I blinked at the view before my eyes. With my posture crouched and legs surrounded by hands, head on top of the knees, I sighed, despondently. The first ray of sun beamed brightly in the firmament, spreading the dark yet light hues altogether: red, pale and orange, mixed up distantly making it look more beautiful and mesmerising from afar. Enthralling. Just like it was supposed to be early in the morning. Sunrises and sunsets were t