Chapter 3

I was discussing with myself all the way from the event hall until I arrived at home.

I went straight to my room and undressed myself. I took a shower and wore my pajamas after.

While brushing my teeth, the bristles of the toothbrush were touching my lips and drove me to remember Mister Suarez.

From earlier until now, I have always remembered the moment I was kissing him.

“Just a fool of you, Val! I hope you didn't let the tension you felt when you were with him caused you to kiss him,” I said to myself after I washed my mouth.

Finally, I was on my bed, but my mind was stuck in the moment when I tiptoed and his arms were supporting me while we were kissing each other as if we really had that sincere relationship.

I'm so stupid to let him control me. But I hate myself for making me become submissive to that man I just met.

I lay down and immediately took my pillow. I covered it to my face and there I released my annoyance. I shouted with my mouth covered with a pillow.

I raised my legs and waved them in a random manner. I just want to get rid of the shameful thing I did that was flashing back in my head again and again.

“It was his fault too! He made a fool of me! He was showing motives, but with different intentions! He was playing with me!”

I hate it because I think I lost in the game! He is good at controlling people. His eyes are the great controller part of his body. With just one look, he can knock someone out of their senses and make them do what he wants.

I remembered what he said. I can't be late for our meeting tomorrow because we are talking about our marriage. I'm sure we'll discuss the wedding.

Thinking about my dream wedding when I was a teenager, I suddenly smiled in an awful way. Knowing it will not come to happen again because of this situation where I am in.

Back then I wanted to get married in a big church where God's blessings begin. I also want my family, friends, and my acquaintances who have become close to me to be there. Most of all, I want to marry the man who makes my heart beat—who makes me feel what love truly is.

I did not wish to end up in this situation. Imagine, I would be marrying the man I don't love. Yes, we met earlier but his face was covered by a mask and a few hours won't be enough to get to know a person. Especially people like Eldifonso Suarez. It's like he's full of secrets. I can't read his movements. The depth of meaning in every look he gave me made it hard to trust him.

He's a deep man with a shallow perception about marriage. While I was his total opposite. Admittedly, sometimes I am too shallow but when it comes to serious matters, I am a deep person.

My friends who are a bit ahead of me said that you should get to know the person you will marry. It is not guaranteed that he will treat you well for a year, two years, three years or more.

It is said that recognizing a person takes a long time. Because it may only show you half of the personality of the person you are recognizing.

But others said that there's no need to make it too long. If you love each other, you can enter married life with that person.

In my case, I don't know the man who will be my husband, I don't love him either and I don't know how many years or decades it will take me to get to know him completely.

A loud sound from my alarm clock woke me up. I slowly opened my eyes to welcome this new day.

"Fuck! Really, head? This very morning? You would remind me of that kiss?” I asked myself disgustedly when that kiss was the first thing that came to my mind.

I stretched my arms and legs before I sat up. I closed my eyes again.

When my spirit really came to its senses, I stood up and decorated the window of my room.

I almost closed my eyes when the rays of the morning sun brushed on my face. I smell it like a fresh garden flower. It's a beautiful morning.

I clipped my black long hair behind my head and went downstairs. I found mommy in the living room busy reading the newspaper.

“Val, good morning. It's good and you're awake, dear. Mister Suarez's men came by and gave a letter. They told me to hand it to you,” said mommy who couldn't hide the excitement in her voice. She looked up from the newspaper she was holding. Her hand reached out the color lavender envelope and handed it to me. “Here. Take time to read that,” he ordered.

I took the envelope. Before I opened it, I bent down and kissed mommy's cheek.

“Good morning, mom.”

I opened the envelope and inhaled its smell. It's refreshing.

I pulled the white paper out from it and read the few letters and numbers written on it. He just wrote "8:00 tonight at my mansion."

“Holy crap,” I whispered.

“Why, Val? What's wrong?”

“Mom, we'll meet tonight. He wants us to talk at his mansion.”

Mommy folded the newspaper in her hand and immediately stood up. She grabbed my shoulder and squeezed it a little.

“There's nothing wrong with that, Val. He is a busy man. Surely night is the only time for him to take care of his personal problems,” said mommy.

“If only I had known, mom, that we would meet tonight, I would have slept longer. I'm dizzy right now because I haven't slept enough because of that man," I said, full of resentments that I felt for Eldifonso Suarez.

“Don't be like that. Just take your breakfast and sleep again. So that later you will be looking presentable, Val.”

I shook my head and threw the envelope at the table.

After I ate, I took a shower.

I wanted to go back to sleep but I was no longer sleepy. That's why I just went to the garden and hung out there.

I waited until darkness started to kiss the Earth.

Before the evening totally reigned, I prepared myself. I dress presentable.

I was wearing my favorite white dress, layered with my cardigan on top, and matched with a pair of close shoes lifted with an inch of heels. My hair was in a bun on top of my head with a few strands curled ang hung on both sides of my face.

I pressed the top of the bottle and then I watched the mists absorbed by my clothes. I also sprayed an amount of perfume behind my ears, on my wrists, and on both sides of my neck.

After a while I heard a car honking from outside our home. It was the same car that brought me home from the masquerade party last night.

I nervously approached the mirror and looked at my reflection.

I stopped moving, realizing that I took many hours to prepare myself for this meeting. But then I was still conscious, asking myself if I am presentable.

I went out of my room. Just like what happened last night, my parents were waiting at the bottom of the stairs I walked down.

“Thank you, Val,” dad said as if he was very proud of me.

Mommy was also in tears while staring at me.

“I will go now. Mister Suarez's men are waiting outside,” I said.

Until I got out, my parents’ eyes followed me.

I got into the car wondering what would happen again during the duration of my meeting with Mister Suarez.

A feeling of embarrassment lured me when I realized the bullshit thing I did.

“Holy crap,” I whispered, thinking about what way I can face him and look directly in his eyes without feeling awkward.

That man was surely laughing at my stupidity. And I hate that.