Chapter 20

She felt a sting of pain and closed her eyes. Why did it seem impossible to escape the hands of fate? Was the curse too strong to be broken? Was it her destiny to follow the path of her ancestors?

"No, Magnus. I'll never be your mistress. I'll never be any man's mistress."

"Don't get me wrong, my love. I don't intend to buy you. I know you will never set a price for your love. You know I love you and respect you as well. But we have no other way. If we want to stay together, it's the best we can do."

"No, Magnus. I'd better leave you than being your mistress. I've promised myself, no matter how hard life might be, no matter how impossible it might seem, I'll never choose that path. I will never be called whore, and my children will never be called bastards."

She pushed him and sidestepped around him. He grabbed her hand.

"I never give a damn about whatever people think, I'll never see you as a whore. Why do you care about people's false opinions rather than what's real and true between us? I know it would not run smooth for us, but I'm willing to stay because I love you. You said you love me, isn't it worth a little sacrifice?

"I do love you." She turned to face him. "But I can never be your mistress. My conscience wouldn't allow me, no matter how much I love you. Even if I don't care about the people, you think I would be happy knowing one day you would be married to another woman? I'm not a woman who shares my man."

Magnus gave her a desperate look.

"But I can't let you go. I love you so much. Tell me what should I do to keep you by my side?"

"Marry me, Magnus. Soon. The duke has made it clear that if I meet you ever again, he would call Roger and my father. If they find me, Roger will be taking me at once. He has the right. I'm bound to him in a legal contract that the king himself couldn't break it. If you think I'm worth a little sacrifice, marry me soon. But if you think otherwise, leave me now and never look back."

"If I could choose, I swear I would marry you, a thousand times if you like. But I can't... I would be banned forever from my family, I would be deprived of all my birth rights, it would cause a great deal of scandal, and..." He ceased talking when he saw her hurtful expression.

"Don't! Don't think I choose my noble life over you... Be sensible, Ava. If I were to be stripped of my privileges, you would not like it as well. Ashton would cut off my allowance and I could provide you nothing."

"I'm not afraid to live a simple life, we can work..." she stopped when he shook his head.

"It's impossible."

"You've made your choice." She turned away.

"Ava, wait! All right, I will marry you now, you tell me how!"

"We should leave to Gretna Green tonight. It's the only way... If we are married by law, your family, even the duke would no longer be able to separate us, and the contract that bound me would be void."

"Gretna Green, you mean... eloping?"

"Yes, I don't need you to give me a house full of servants and a lot of money, Magnus. I love you, not the conveniences and privileges that come with you. We can move to another town and live far from your family. All I need is you and only you."

"I'm sorry, love. I don't think it's a good idea..."

She took a step back. "So... I guess we're saying goodbye..." she turned away, but he reached her again.

"Ava, wait. I have a better idea. After I finish my lesson with the captain, I will challenge Ashton a duel. If I win, the prize is freedom to choose my own bride. I will marry you in a honorable way..."

"And if you lose?"

"I will not lose. Not this time. I need you to trust me, promise me you will wait for me..."

"For how long?"

"I don't know, but it won't be long. A few months maybe..."

"So you're going to make me wait in uncertainty? Without knowing when I will see you again..."

He breathed harshly in frustration.

"Ava, don't push me too far... I'm not ready for anything you're asking me to do. Besides, I still have some unfinished business here. I have to finish what I've started with the captain. I have lessons to complete. The marriage thing... the elopement idea is just..." He halted, seemed beaten and tortured.

"I can't take too much a distraction now. I really need to do this, I need to prove that I can be better than Ashton, at least in one thing."

His voice firm and determined at the statement, not uncertain and doubtful like when he was answering her demand. Until now, she had never known how bad the bitter rivalry had consumed him.

"I can't put my life at stake, Magnus... Even if you win, I don't think you can marry me so easily..."

He gave a painful sigh.

"Then think about Nouvelle. It's the best I can offer you for now. And believe me, it's the best any man can offer you."

She felt as if a thousand tiny sharp points pricking her heart inside and it was bleeding all over.

"I swear I will make you happy. To me you will always be my wife in every way that matters. Don't care too much about the people. They don't know the least bit about us. Don't give up what we have just to escape people's rotten judgement..."

She released her hand from his grip and made a long, hasty step out of the barn, into the heavy rain.

"So people's opinions matter more to you than our love?!!" She heard him shouting behind her, but he didn't stop her this time.

"All right! I promise I will come to you soon after I defeat him!" He shouted again.

"But if you change your mind, you know where to find me!"

*****